Dank Dolan's Super Chocolaty Pimp Adventure
By:Some faggot on the internet
NOTE:This is a note, embrace it, for it is your last chance to maintain your brain cells and your IQ
[Chapter 1:Dolan in da H00D]
Dolan was cruising down the street in his brand new shiny and pimpin Six Fo, he jacked a few of those fat bottom bitches (who were basically clones of Ghost Toast who posessed a bunch of dirty street hoes), and slapped a few of them hoes. He played some very generic pimp rap music and pulled up to two of the finest ladies in all of Planet Dolan...Doopie...and...AND...AAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDD...oh son of a bitch, did Slapped Ham go on strike again? God dang it hold on- cut to commercial
Okay were back, now where was I? Oh yeah, Doopie and Slapped ham were wearing very patchy and poorly made bikinis, Doopie's was normal sized but Slapped Ham was trying to show off his Slapped Ham (*insert careless whisper here*). Dolan threw a titanium dildo at Doopie and pinned down Slapped Ham, as Doopie was carried away by the clearly superior Gentleman, Swoozie, who took her to his humble abode, and seduced her into a sexy potato night of the sexiest sex that ever sexxed in sexy sexy mcdonalds wendys cheeseburger salty chocolate sex. It was hot, Swoozie is best dolan character.
Meanwhile, Dolan Slapped his Ham and whispered in his ear in a seductive voice This is my pork...
He bent Slapped Ham on his hands and knees and grinded against his- Censored because tuyoube
[Chatper 2:De P00si Cunt]
In the dildo shaped skyscraper in the middle of Dolondon, there was a P00say cat sitting in a chair, spinning right round baby right round like a record baby right round round round.
Who could I tbe? It was da P00si Cunt, Sheema Luau! She knew that tonight, her evil plan must happen, she was going to broadcast a top secret sound weapon to the entire city. Ghost Toast, the original, watched in horror as she ate french toast in front of him, very slowly. She finally swallowed and Ghost Toast fainted. She said "Its time..." before going to her super-alpha-omega-hyer-gamma-beta-sexy-swaglord-dab-dab-wubba-dab-dab-giga-sexy-mega-hyper-fone (a big ass megaphone), and screamed in her best autotune voice
GIBBE DAT P0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000SSSSAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
In which everyone in Dolondon suddenly got nekkid and sexxed a very sexy sex. Dolan and Swoozie were immune, along with their current partners, and they each ran away from the crowds of horny civilians wanting a piece of Swoozies dried golden potato rump and Dolans Pasty White Booty that was so white that it makes elmers glue look like the color brown on a tuesday game of strip poker.
Swoozie got in his potato car and drove around at the speed of sound. Dolan got in his Six Fo, but something was wrong...the car didnt start. Slapped Ham looked at the oncumming crowd of horny monsters and sighed, saying "Dolan sama...you must go...". Before Dolan could respond, he shoved a sword up Dolans Pasty White Chalk Flavored Booty and he went flying into the distance, as MLG sad music (MM WATCHA SAAAAAAAAYYY) started to play. Dolan turned around and tried reaching to him, bu tit wa sno use. He was already in the air and saw Slapped Ham do a Nah-ZeeZee Tops Salute, as he was gang banged by 69 horny monsters. Dolan Crashed into the back yard, but tumbled and landed balls first into a bee hive which didnt hurt him and ended up exploding because Dolan was the other greatest Dolan Character, and was equal to Swoozie.
*Doopie and Swoozie looked at Dolan, and helped him up. "Hey, Dolan, are you alright? Wait...are you infected!?" he said as Doopie pulled out a greasy shotgun. You dont want to know the ammo. No, not even you Hellbent, so shut your strawberry red face or else im grounding you from Cigarettes.
Doopie didnt care if it was freezing cold and she had little on right now, she had an internal heat device that Hellbent totally didnt shove up her asshole when she got wasted and asked for it. Anyways, Dolan said "Im not trying to bang you though...im resistant I think...maybe...probably...". Suddenly, Hellbent finally arrived, riding on an edgy motorbike with demons and shit following him. He looked so edgy, so awesome, that you almost couldnt tell that he was secretly a 12 year old in their edgy emo/goth phase.
Hellbent:COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!
Dolan:Hey why are we switching to a play format, turn that shit back to normal, or I will personally take every comprehensive count down I have EVER MADE, on ALL CHANNELS, and read them to you as a bedtime story, and you dont get to sleep until im finished, even if the sun rises!
Hellbent:... anime sweat drop
"Okay fine, were back to normal, and who turned on the damn Bold function?"
Doopie fired her shotgun into the air three times "STOP THIS FREAKIN FILLER BEFORE I FILLER YOU UP WITH GREASY SHOTGUN SHELLS!" and so the plot continued.
Hellbent took out a cigarette and lit it, before puffing the longest cloud of smoke in the history of ever. Before saying "You know, I know a way to get into that tower, but its going to cost ya..." he said. Swoozie said "Okay, and whats it gonna cost us?". Hellbent said 'Well I WOULD have said your soul, but im under plot armor contract that says I cant take anybodies soul unless they ARENT relevant to the plot." he said taking out a roll of soggy toilet paper from hell with these very words on it.
They shrugged and went with it. "In fact, I actually need you to pay me a whole crate filled with cigars, im branching out, maybe try a bit of that weed stuff everybodies talking about. Anyways, the stories getting pretty boring so we should probably get back to random shit." he says as he sprouted tiny demon wings from his butt cheeks and grabbed doland and the others as he flew to the dick shaped skyscraper, ready to...uhh...um...shit-
[Cappet 3:The majestic fucking eagle]
As Dolan and the others were flying over to the dick shaped skyscraper, Doopie was fortunately at the bottom of the grip ladder. "Hey, wheres the rest of the gang anyway?" she asked. But before she could get an answer, Hellbent suddenly felt something sharp get shoved up his asshole. It was...IT WAS, Harambe in an Apache Attack Helicopter.
Hellbent tried to dodge the mad gorilla, but it was no use, he felt his asshole get penetrated by a long, hard, lance, and he threw the three heroes towards the dick tower, screaming "MY ASSHEART WILL GO ON FOREVERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" as another good character that nobody gave half a shit about died.
[Cphatr 4:The beginning of the end of this God Awful fanfiction that I have cursed you with]
They crashed into the stripper room, where all the dolan girls who havent been featured yet were pole dancing. It was a fanservice haven, moreso then Doopie already was. She yanked the two main characters of the story out of the room and said "NOPE! You dont deserve fanservice, now lets get out of here and find the boss bitch of this tower before I haave to go Super Sand Lesbian 9001 times the square route of Nixxioms pasty night blue shlong.
They nodded and started to cut down every final boss from every video game ever, before finally reaching the throne room of the deadly P00si Cunt, Sheema.
"I has wait arbor day! I mean for you" she said as she drew a lightsaber and igniting the pink blade. "Oh my god, FINALLY, SOMETHING THAT MAKES SEN-" started Doopie and Swoozie, until the lightsaber started ignoring random shapes before becoming the shape of a fucking tree. "Whyyyyyy..." groaned Swoozie and Doopie. Dolan decided to get stoned and make things interesting by snorting a line of salt, pepper, cinnamon, cocaine, Hellbents nose hair, Melissas feathers, and some ants.
Dolan started flashing rainbows and went Super Sand Lesbian 9002, beating Doopies record and pulled out a Tommy Gun, opening fire and shouting "GET FUCKED POOSAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"
Blowing many holes into Sheema who turned into swiss cheese. Suddenly, the building was starting to self destruct, with parts of the building turning into chocolate milk.
Doopie grabbed Dolan and Swoozie by the balls and flew away, all the while Dolan and Swoozie squealed in a high pitched whiny voice. When they arrived, Doopie used Curaga on their balls and theyh could once again make potato and dolan babies. And I just ran out of my writing budget writing this, so why dont each of you come up with the ending yourselves. Bye, and sorry that I have cursed you with this story, please do not roast me alive Dolan Senpai.