Title: Control
Author: bluetoads
Length: 1,974 words
Pairing: John/ Steve (sort of )
Rating: PG-13 ( swear word and mild sexual tension.)
Spoilers: If you look hard referances up to Condemmed season 2. Takes place during season 1.
Don't own SGA etc
Warning: Something I have been playing with for a couple of weeks after reading a couple of the transcripts from Suspicion/ Poisoning the well. Trying to do a Steve POV. Finally decide to stop messing with it and leave it alone as it has changed from what I was going for at first and morphed into a much longer and darker fic than I was aiming for.. . Hope I got it right. Not sure if it really fits the challenge.
Summary: We mirror each other perfectly. One light and one dark but both mirrors of the other. It frightens them sooo badly when we do this-he and I. I see the looks they give him. Sometimes I think they fear him as much as they do me.
He comes again. I can feel him. I can smell him. I can almost taste him. He comes. He always comes. I hate him with all my being. When I am free I will enjoy killing him. It will be slow. So slow and so delicious. I may prolong it many days, maybe even longer. It will be so good. So very, very good. He comes….. "Hello Steve"
The food ones who guard me fear me so. I can smell their fear. It makes me hunger even more. They try not to show their fear but I can smell it. I can taste it on the tip of my tongue. It is like a cool drink of water. Yes, I remember eating, drinking. So many different tastes and textures. I sometimes miss that. But the taking of the foods life force is so, so much better. Nothing can replace that. They. Will Be. Sooo good.
I played with the food guarding me at first. It was very pleasing to make them see things that were not there. They were so terrified at first. They still are, just not as much-they will learn their error. I had hoped they would open the cell but the angry one stopped them. He stopped them from running, from firing, from searching my cell, time and again. He is strong in mind. He has experienced the mind tricks we can do to food before, unlike the other food in the room. I can tell. I am not a drone after all. The other food in the room reacted much better-much more satisfying. They have not seen this before. There is something in the angry one's eyes that tells me he has been in my kinds hands before. He has somehow been on one of our Hive ships and survived. I have seen the same look in toys' eyes before. He is not a toy though- a runner the humans call them- and only toys live to see the outside of our hives once they are caught. They do not live long once they are released these toys. We hunt them down quickly for sport. So few of the humans are suitable for use as toys lately. It is a pity. I have always enjoyed the hunt. He has seen the inside of a Hive and still lives. I want to know how this is but do not ask. I will not give them the satisfaction of responding to them. I will speak only to HIM, but only when I feel like doing so. Not to the others. Perhaps the angry one was once made a toy, I do not think so though. The angry one would make a good toy. Perhaps that is what I will do to him when they come for me. I will enjoy killing him.
I see the same look it in HIS eyes and in two others that come with him sometimes. The small one, the woman I fought on the planet and the young one that follows eagerly at his shoulder. They have been inside a Hive ship, been it the hands of my kind. I see it in their eyes. I want to know how they are still alive but do not ask. They are not toys either. How is this possible? How any of my kind could have HIM and let Him go, not taste him, not feed off him? I will know when I take him. I will know everything I want to know when I take him. He will be so good. I can wait. I am good at waiting.
I still play with the food outside my cell. I sometimes talk out loud about all the things I and my kind will do to them when they come for me. It is pleasing to see their eyes widen and see them sweat. Their fear scent is so good then. It coats my tongue sweat and thick. So good. Other times I pace. I will pace slow and easy or fast and swift. It always makes the food twitchy. I find it amusing to play with them. What really unnerves them though is when I am still. I can stand unmoving for hours. When I meditate I can be perfectly still for days. This serves two purposes. It frightens the food more and conserves my energy. I can last a very long time. I had eaten well before I had been captured. It is only a matter of time before my kind come for me. I have the time. The food does not-they just do not know it yet.
When he comes everything changes. He is different. He smells of our long ago enemies. We had thought they were all dead. Some of the other food smells of them also but it is faint. Nothing like him. It is strong on him and makes my hunger swell. I could control myself at first but the more he comes the harder it is. I do not understand why this one can do this to me. I am not a drone, I can control myself. It happened slowly. I did not see it at first. I have to now tightly control myself when he is near. It is painful and unnatural for me. I have felt the force field on the walls of my cell and I do not want to do that again. I will though…..I tell myself not this time. This time I will be still. Still. Do not move. Still. In control. He does something to my control. He exhausts me with his words, with his pacing, with his presence. He says meaningless words and smirks and talks and talks. He asks endless questions and yet at other times asks nothing but still talks and talks. The man- no food, never seems to get exhausted with his questions and taunts and talk. "I am your Death, that is all you need to know"
He paces slowly around my cell. This is worst for me than his endless talk. Around and around and around. So close-so close. It takes much of my dwindling strength to stand still and tall and not turn to follow his progress. Other times I will pace along side him. I in my cell and he just on the other side of the bars. We mirror each other perfectly. One light and one dark but both mirrors of the other. Both in black with hands clasped behind our backs or hanging loosely at our sides. Same posture and same stride. Often we have mirrored expressions and our heads will tilt the same. I find myself sometimes matching his speech pattern. I can not help myself though I try. We mirror so perfectly he and I. He is the only one to do this. I think he gets as much amusement out of it when we do this mirror of each other as I do. It frightens the other food in the room. I can smell their fear scent increasing and they shift nervously, clutching their weapons tighter whenever we do this. It frightens them sooo badly when we do this-he and I- adding greatly to my enjoyment. I see the looks they give him. Sometimes I think they fear him as much as they do me. They can not miss the predatory look that is in his eyes or the predatory stride he uses at times. I see them both; I am a predator too after all. I have just never encountered it in food before.
He is also the only one who comes right up to the bars. Not even the angry one will do this. So close-so close. Only a blue energy field between my hand and him. I want him so bad. So-close. I have never wanted anything in my long, long life the way I want this man- this food. He struts and he flaunts himself in front of me. He teases me with his body. He taunts me with his words.
"Hello, Major Sheppard, back again so soon?" …. " Hi Steve, just checking to see if you need anything. Magazine, more towels….." He is walking closely around the outside of my cell as he is speaking and then he pauses and slowly places his right hand behind his neck and even more slowly rubs as if he is in pain then he oh so slowly arches his back and stretches his long lean body while he runs his hand from the back of his neck to under his right ear dragging it slowly, so slowly, down his throat and slowly, oh so, so slowly, drifts down his chest rubbing slightly in a circular motion before drifting down to his stomach and curves to caress his right hip. He bites his bottom lip as he is doing it then slowly licks his bottom lip. It is deliberate and his eyes are on me the whole time eyes half closed watching me. I can not take my eyes from that hand and follow it the whole way. I hear the breaths hitch sharply in the two guards in the room with us and I hear a soft "shit!" when he does this. They are as affected as I with his movement and they shift restlessly. The tension in the room increases sharply. I want to touch him so badly I bite my own tongue and taste blood. My hands clench and unclench and I can do nothing to stop them. My nostrils flare so I may take more and more of his scent into my lungs. His scent coats my tongue in a heavy, thick sweetness I have never tasted before. I want to taste it more and more each time he comes. If I were staving I would by pass 100 lesser food just to get to him and that so, so sweetness of him. I want it so bad I would fight my own kind and my queen for it. My skin itches to touch his. My body twitches involuntarily when he is near. I want to run my hands over that firm muscled chest that he flaunts so often in front of me so bad. To touch, to taste, to plunge my feeding claws into that firm tight skin. So close-so close.
Sometimes when I stand as close as I can to the bars so the energy field tickles my skin and causes my hair to flutter. He will stand right in front of me on the other side of the bars and put his face and body as close to mine as he can. Like he is doing now. We are so close we could do the thing I have heard the food call kissing. I can feel his breath on my lips, my cheek and he mine. I want to put my mouth over that smirking mouth so bad it shocks me. So close-so close. My body tightens when ever he is near now. He drives me insane with want and need. So close, so-close. He is right up to the bars now. His scent surrounds me so heavy it is all I can smell, his taste is coating my tongue so heavy in his sweetness I feel as if I will gag on it. He is wearing that tight black t-shirt that shows all that taunt firm skin and the lovely muscled chest. His skin glistens. His breath touches my face once again. I turn away, stiff. Control, control. Con- I can not hold back any longer and I throw myself at him with all I am only to bounce screaming wordlessly in rage and want off the force field. MINE, MINE! All mine; I must have him, Now-Now –NOW! So close, so-close, SO CLOSE!