Hey everyone! I know it's not April Fool's, but I had this idea and I just had to share it with all of you.
Disclaimer: I do not own The Avengers or any part of the Marvel world. Neither do I own any of the t-shirts mentioned in this story. They are at the top of my Christmas wish list, though.
Let's give Fury a heart-attack!
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March was ending, April was approaching, and everyone at S.H.I.E.L.D. was discussing potential April Fool's pranks, who to prank, and how to execute the prank. It was a big deal. They had to come up with something that was funny, but harmless. And it couldn't hurt anyone's feelings or taint their image. Some of these people were highly trained assassins. Get on their bad side, and you might not live to see April 2nd.
Some agents went solo. Others allied themselves in small groups for safety in numbers. One such group included Natasha Romanoff, Maria Hill, Jane Foster, and Darcy Lewis. Their target: Nick Fury, Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.
"No one has ever been able to pull off a successful prank on him," Maria informed the others when they were away from any listening or recording devices. "He always sees them coming and they are never enough to freak him out."
"Then we have to come up with something that we don't have to set up in advance and will be enough to at least make his eye twitch," Jane responded.
"That's got to be some major prank," Natasha countered. "He's been in a lot of battles and seen some pretty hard-core stuff. It won't be easy freaking him out."
"To freak him out," Darcy inserted into the conversation while on her laptop, "you have to know him." She looked up. "What does he hate? What annoys him to no end?"
"Loki," Maria and Natasha said simultaneously.
"Then we do something that involves Loki." Darcy turned her eyes back to the screen and started typing something.
"Like what?" Jane asked. "He's back on Asgard. We can't do anything with him if he's not here."
"Could you ask Thor if we could borrow him?" Natasha suggested. Everyone knew that Thor could not resist when his mortal girlfriend asked him for anything.
"And risk an angry Allfather coming down and unleashing his wrath on us? No thanks." Jane wasn't stupid. She wasn't going to do anything that would get her or Thor in trouble.
"Even if we were somehow able to get him down here," Maria interjected, "what would we do with him? I doubt he would be willing to cooperate with us, even though he hates Fury just as much as Fury hates him."
"Maybe we don't need to use Loki himself." Three sets of eyes turned to Darcy, who was smiling at her laptop.
"What do you mean by that?" Jane was a bit suspicious of that smile on Darcy's face. The last time she had seen that smile, Clint Barton ended up with hideous orange hair. He had needed to cover his head for a week before finding something to remove the color.
"We have a meeting with Fury scheduled for that morning, don't we?" Darcy asked.
"Yes," Maria confirmed.
"What are you guys gonna wear?"
Darcy turned her laptop so that the other three women could see what she had been doing. When they saw what it was, they all smiled. They were mischievous smiles, ones that would make the God of Mischief himself very proud.
On April 1st, while all the other S.H.I.E.L.D. agents were setting up their pranks and waiting for their chosen victims to arrive, four women walked towards Nick Fury's office. Maria and Natasha were supposed to be wearing their uniforms, but instead they wore the same as Jane and Darcy: black jeans, a t-shirt, and a jacket covering the t-shirt.
They arrived at their destination, and, as one, removed their jackets. They each wore a different shirt, but they were very similar. They crossed their fingers behind their backs, gave each other smiles, and entered the room.
Nick Fury was in a corner at the back of the room, to the left of the door, pouring coffee. He set the pot down and took a drink while turning towards the door. But when he saw the four women, he did a spit-take.
Natasha's shirt was white, with fake blood splatters, and the words "Don't mess with me. I'm in Loki's army." Maria's shirt was light blue, with a snake to the left of the words "Loki made me do it." Jane's shirt was black with bold green words that said "Free hugs for Loki." And finally, Darcy's shirt was teal-blue, and said "Team Loki" in big letters.
Fury hadn't even finished his spit-take when the four women burst out laughing. Maria had to lean up against the wall, Natasha had her hands on her knees, and Darcy and Jane were leaning on each other for support. That didn't last before the two lost their balance and dropped to the ground. It took a couple minutes before they got their laughter under control. They stood up straight, let out a few last giggles, and then turned their attention back to Fury.
The director of S.H.I.E.L.D. was living up to his last name. His jaw was clenched, his right eye twitched, and a vein throbbed on his forehead.
"WHAT IN THE NAME OF SANITY ARE YOU GIRLS WEARING?!"
Every other agent in the New York S.H.I.E.L.D. base heard this, and, forgetting their own pranks, turned their cameras to where the best action of the day was.
"April Fool's, Director Fury," the four women said in unison. They didn't give Fury a chance to respond before swiftly leaving the office and running down the hall. They wanted to put as much distance between him and them before he got over his shock and came after them.
They passed a lot of agents, who gave them high-fives as they ran by. Some of the women called out asking where they got their shirts. Darcy would shout back "CafePress" and continue running.
They four women ran all the way to the parking garage, hopped into their car, and drove off towards Avengers Tower. It had formerly been Stark Tower, but was converted into the Avengers base after the Chitauri incident. When they got there, they took the elevator up to the lounge, where Pepper met them.
"How did it go?" she asked.
"I gave you access to the security cameras," answered Maria, "with a note saying to watch a certain place at a certain time." Pepper smiled.
"I recorded it," she said. "Hope you don't mind if I wanted to show it to the men."
"Not at all."
With that part of the conversation out of the way, the group of women got out their laptops and went straight to the website where they had found their shirts. Pepper was asking their opinion on two different shirts when the elevator doors opened.
In walked Tony, Bruce, Steve, Clint, and Thor, in that order. Tony stopped short when he saw what most of the women were wearing, causing a pileup, except no one fell.
"Why'd you stop?" Clint asked.
Tony didn't respond. He simply pointed. The others followed his finger. When they saw what he saw, Bruce chuckled, Steve raised an eyebrow, Clint's jaw dropped, and Thor started laughing.
"Like our shirts?" the four pranksters asked simultaneously.
"Very nice," Bruce responded.
"Natasha, what are you wearing?" That would be Clint.
"May I ask why you are wearing those particular shirts?" That was Steve.
"I would like to request a picture to take back to show my brother." And that came from Mr. Shakespeare-in-the-park Thor.
"But I don't have a shirt yet," Pepper said, "and I want to be in the picture, too."
"You too, Pepper?" Tony finally found his voice.
"Don't worry, Pep," Darcy told her. "We've got a spare for you."
"Which one?"
"I 'heart' Loki."
Jane pulled the shirt out of her bag and handed it to Pepper, who left the room so she could change.
"To answer Steve's question," Natasha said, completely ignoring Clint's reaction, "we wore these shirts as an April Fool's prank. We pulled it on Fury."
"And how did he react?" Bruce asked.
Natasha asked J.A.R.V.I.S. to play the video. Not even Tony and Clint could hold in their laughter when they saw the spit-take. Pepper came back out wearing her shirt and joined the rest of the women as they posed for their picture, which Bruce took. Everyone sat down and watched the video over and over again as they waited for the picture to print.
They spent the rest of the day just hanging out, including Maria. She did not want to go back to S.H.I.E.L.D. and face Fury's. . . well, fury, alone. Natasha, Jane, and Darcy agreed to accompany her back the next day. Only, this time, they would leave the shirts at home.
Meanwhile, Nick stayed in his office for the rest of the day, trying to wipe the memory of those shirts from his mind.
He didn't succeed.
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So what did you think? Can you imagine Fury doing a spit-take? Classic. Those shirts can be found at .com if you want to look them up. Which one would you get?