Welcome to my new short story everyone. This should have been up last night but I was at a work event until after midnight and did not have the energy. A short chapter for BSH will still go up very late tonight but I will be visiting with one of my oldest friends all weekend.
First the legal stuff: I do not own nor in anyway am I associated with DeGrassi.
Trigger warning: This story deals with domestic abuse and the use of narcotics, in no way do I condone these things.
Important things to know before reading:
This story is dedicated to QuackColeman/COCACOLEMAN and Friends who made the request so I hope it's everything they hoped for and everyone enjoys it.
This story is A/U and takes place after Scream Pt. 2 about a week after they've returned from March break.
Cam did not die.
Adam and Becky are already dating.
Ch. 1 Frightened & Flawed
(CLARE)
I tapped my pencil against my lips as I looked at my physics book reading the section for today's homework. Eli was fidgeting behind me; we were on his bed doing homework. He sat leaning against pillows propped against the wall. I was lying on my stomach with my legs up behind me and my ankles crossed, swinging my legs lightly. Every time Eli shifted he'd bump my foot, at first I thought he was just doing homework he didn't want to be doing, but when I looked behind me I saw he only had his laptop on his lap and was staring at the screen.
"You okay Eli?" I ask.
He tosses his laptop off his lap and hops off the bed like something bit him, pacing the room in a sudden rage.
"NO I'M NOT OKAY! I NEED A GREAT FILM FOR MY NYU PORTFOLIO AND I CAN'T THINK OF A SINGLE IDEA. MY MIND IS TOTALLY NUMB! I'LL NEVER GET INTO NYU EVEN WITH BRETT'S LETTER!" Eli yells in a sudden rage and the takes his desk tipping it over making papers, books, pencils and other things fly all over the room.
I gasp and cover my face until everything is on settled on the floor, when I open my eyes Eli is still standing there with clenched fists. His jaw is clenched so tight that neck is bulging out and the vein in his forehead is popping out. Getting off the bed cautiously I slowly approach Eli, he doesn't even seem to see me.
"Eli it's okay you have a brilliant mind you'll think of something, you still have time and you know I'll help you. NYU would be crazy not to accept you," I assure him gently putting my hand on his shoulder and he finally looks at me.
He relaxes a little and kisses me but it's a hard kiss, at least the kiss gets him to relax further.
"You're right, what would I do without my muse? I'll think of something great and NYU will have to take to me. You know I think I'll kidnap you and take you with me," Eli smirks and then kisses me again.
I know it was a joke but I feel my stomach churn with fear. He pulls out of the kiss and takes my hand pulling me back to the bed. Sits me next to him and then starts typing away on the laptop. He gets lost in it, like I'm not even here anymore but when I try to move he reaches over gripping to me tightly and holding me in place so I stay where I am for a while.
"Eli I need to get home it's almost dinner time," I point out looking at the clock on his laptop.
"Call your mom, stay for dinner," he replies without looking at me.
"I'm not sure she'll let me," I respond and now he looks at me.
Turning his head slowly, his eyes narrowed and glaring at me with this irate fire burning in his green eyes, the way he's looking at me sends a chill up my spine.
"I need my muse Clare, you can't leave I can't finish this without my muse you have to stay," Eli's voice is cold and hard like he isn't really in there and it's chilling.
I'm so shocked that I can't even reply, I stare at him for a second and then nod slowly. Eli smiles with one side of his mouth and then looks back at his laptop. I look at him another couple of seconds and then reach forward to get my purse and my phone, finding the number for home and clicking on it to call.
"Yello," Jake answers and sounds high which is surprising considering what time of night it is.
"Jake can you tell mom I'm having dinner at Eli's and will be home right after," I request.
"No can do stepsib the parentals are on a date tonight they won't be home until after ten. Have a good dinner at Eli's," Jake says and hangs up.
"My parents are out I can stay for dinner," I tell Eli and he only replies with a smirk.
He's caught up in his writing again so I lean forward lying on my stomach once more and continuing with my physics homework. Cece arrives home a few minutes later and Eli goes down to tell her that I'm staying for dinner.
"Mom's just going to heat some eggplant parmesan in the oven, dinner will be ready in about half an hour," Eli says when he comes back in the room.
"Eli you scared me earlier, you were so intense are you taking your m…"
Before I can ask if he's taking his meds he silences me with a kiss, a hard silencing kiss that I can hardly breathe through. When he finally pulls away I have to take a deep gasping breath.
"I'm sorry Clare," Eli apologizes combing his fingers into my hair and locking his eyes with mine but he does have an apologetic look in his eyes. "I didn't mean to scare you I was just so caught up in my script but I need my muse you can't leave me Clare," Eli says almost desperately.
"I know I'm not going anywhere," I assure him.
Eli grins and taking my hand he sits on the edge of his bed pulling me into his lap. His arms go around me and he tips my chin up capturing my lips for a sweet kiss. This is the Eli I know and love, tender and passionate, like his writing. Linking my arms around his neck I part my lips just slightly and kiss him back. I relax into kissing him, his fingers start caressing along my spine through my shirt, it's like a gentle massage and it feels good. Suddenly he takes me by the waist and turns me on my back; it happens so quick I giggle into the kiss. He hovers over me, his fingertips caressing up my cheek and combing into my hair again, Eli smiles at me and overtakes my lips again. For a few minutes we just kiss, then his hand begins working it's way under my shirt and I try to move but Eli has me pinned. I pull out of the kiss and he starts kissing my neck.
"Eli stop!" I say firmly but he only gets more aggressive. "Eli dinner will be ready soon we need to get downstairs," I tell him but he doesn't move. I move my arm grabbing his hand pulling it out of my shirt, and pushing at him as hard as I can. "Eli stop we need to get downstairs," I say again in a firmer voice and he finally stops.
"Sorry I just can't help myself when I'm with you," he says but he sits up and gets off me.
"It's okay," I say quietly.
After fixing my clothes we go downstairs and Cece is setting salad on the table. She greets us and we talk a bit, Bullfrog gets home just before dinner and greets us. We sit down for dinner and everyone talks about their day, then Cece asks Eli how his NYU portfolio is coming, Eli tenses slightly but answers giving me credit for his brilliant ideas and calling me his muse. After dinner I gather my books from Eli's room and he drives me home.
"I'll see you tomorrow Blue Eyes," he smiles when we pull up in front of my house.
"Goodnight Eli," I reply putting my hand on car door handle but he grabs my wrist and I look back at him.
"Where's my goodnight kiss?" He questions.
I lean over and kiss his cheek, he lets me go and I get out of his car. When I get inside Jake is sitting at the table eating two large pizzas, two different kinds in two open boxes and he's eating them both, one slice of each in each hand.
"Hey how was dinner?" He asks with a mouth full of pizza.
"It was fine," I reply and go upstairs to my room.
I finish my homework and I'm in the shower when my parents get home. Jake has already come upstairs and gone to bed, he'll sleep all night; he always does after he gets high. I go to bed but I can't sleep, I'm worried about Eli, his behavior was so disturbing and frightening tonight I'm sure that something is wrong. Eventually I succumb to fatigue and fall asleep but I have a disturbing dream about Eli that wakes me up very early. It's barely dawn but I get up and get ready for school because I'm sure that I can't get back to sleep. Walking to school so early is a little bit eerie but I know these streets and it's only a few blocks to school. I stop at The Dot for coffee and breakfast, Fitz is working, he looks surprised to see me so early but smiles at me when I come in.
"Hey Clare what can I get you?" He asks.
"Coffee and a chocolate croissant thanks Fitz," I tell him putting the money on the counter.
"Are you okay?" He asks pouring me my coffee and giving me the cup. "You seem…sad," he says placing my croissant on a plate but it took him a moment to find the word sad it was like he was going to say another word.
"I'm just tired, I didn't sleep well and woke up very early," I inform him.
"Sorry, since I open every morning I sleep like a log," Fitz laughs and I smile.
I take the mug of coffee and go to the end of the counter where the sugar and cream is to make my coffee the way that I like it. Then grab the plate with my croissant and sit at a table by the window. I'm in here awhile reading my book and get a refill on coffee, I watch Fitz and the other employees serve the morning rush and then Fitz goes on his break. Looking at the time I see that school should be open and I gather my stuff to leave.
"You want a ride to school?" Fitz offers when I come outside.
"No thanks Fitz I can walk and I could use the fresh air," I reply with a smile and start walking to school.
It's still quite early but school is only down the street and so I'm not expecting anyone this early and jump when I hear my name.
"Clare get in," Eli orders. His voice is sharp and sudden, rather commanding and almost jealous.
I'm so shocked by it I forget to be angry that he's ordering me around and get in his car. He watches me put my seatbelt on and then drives the very short distance to school. He seems very tense and angry this morning, I almost ask him about it but he parks at school and we get out.
"What were you talking to Fitz about?" Eli questions through clenched teeth as we approach the front steps.
"You're not jealous of Fitz again! Eli he offered me a ride to school that was it we're just friends, barely even friends and you should know that, I can't believe your jealous again!" I exclaim throwing up my hands and placing a foot on the top step but Eli grabs my backpack and yanks me back! I gasp and the he pulls me to the other side of the banister where no one can see us and shoves me against the wall gripping my arms tightly.
"You shouldn't be talking to Fitz," he growls.
"Eli you're hurting me let me go," I tell him in a firm voice but I'm very frightened.
His whole expression changes and he lets go of me like I just burned him. He suddenly gets extremely agitated and looks at me with sorrowful puppy dog eyes. Deep agonized emerald green puppy dog eyes that look so hurt it makes you want to hold him. Eli starts pacing, scratching the back of his head and glancing at me.
"I'm sorry Clare, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. You have to believe me I just can't stand to lose you. When I think about losing you it just breaks me Clare. I need you, you know I need you don't you?" Eli says his voice is so full of begging, regret, fear and anger I don't know what he's feeling. I haven't replied and Eli's watching me but I'm so stunned by the whole thing that I can't seem to make words yet. Eli takes a step toward me and I back up against the wall as Eli cups my face with both hands and gazes into my eyes. His deep intensely burning green eyes are locked on mine, even if his hands weren't holding my face I couldn't look away. "Please Clare I need you, you're my muse I need you. I love you Clare, so much it hurts you can't leave me Clare you just can't," Eli begs.
"I'm not, I won't leave you Eli I love you I'm not going anywhere," I assure him. Eli smiles and kisses me; it's deep and passionate but hard and sort of possessive too. It's both sweet and deeply frightening at the same time. He pulls out of the kiss and puts his head on my shoulder, I comb fingers into his hair and hold him a minute. "Eli let's go inside," I say after a moment.
He picks his head up and nods, taking my hand we walk up the steps and into school.
(OWEN)
Dallas and I walk into Chemistry sitting at our table with two other guys from the team. Eli's at his table in front of us, he's writing something in his notebook and sort of talking to himself.
"You think the happy couple is having trouble?" Dallas asks nudging my side and nodding toward Eli.
"He probably doesn't want to kiss her again after you had your dirty lips on her," I tease Dallas and the other guys look at him shocked.
"When did you kiss Clare?" Dino asks.
"It's a long story you will never hear," Dallas responds and I laugh, it's really not a long story he just doesn't want to tell them because Clare slapped him.
Fiona comes in sitting at her table with Eli and minute later Katie, Jake, Mo and Marisol come in sitting at their table.
Jake turns around and looks at Eli, "Did you pick Clare up early this morning?"
Eli stops and looks at Jake with his eyes pinched together, it makes him look quite evil. "No but I saw her talking to Fitz at The Dot this morning," Eli replies.
"Weird she was gone when I got up this morning and my dad said she was gone even he got up. Her mom was sure you picked her up to take her to school but I guess she must have walked," Jake shrugs.
"Fitz is that waiter guy at The Dot you're friends with right?" Dallas questions as Mr. Bettankamp calls the class to attention.
"Yeah," I nod.
"Maybe she's getting tired of Eli," Dallas snickers.
"I hope so I'm surprised they got back together in the first place," I comment.
"Owen, Dallas unless you'd like to teach the class I suggest you pay attention Mr. Bettankamp scolds and we go quiet.
When class lets out Dallas and I start walking to our personal fitness class when Eli runs ahead of us. We watch him run up behind Clare startling her and he spins her around really fast kissing her. She looks a little scared but I just assume it's because he startled her with the kiss.
"You have to admit he is acting a little weird," Dallas comments.
"Yeah he's acting a little weird but unless he's crashing his car on purpose or setting things on fire I wouldn't worry about it too much," I reply as we turn the corner away from Eli and Clare and go into the locker room.
"Did Eli really do those things?" Dallas asks as we start to change.
"Yeah he did, both were last year. Clare tried to break up with him and he crashed his car to manipulate her into going to the hospital to see him again. It was right before March break and when we got back Clare was dating Jake which Eli didn't take well. He wrote a play about them to get Clare back, first she was the villain then the hero. On opening night Eli went crazier than usual and set the script on fire," I inform Dallas while we change and go out to the gym floor.
"So why'd she get back together with him?" Dallas inquires while we start warming up.
"You got me? Never understood it myself," I shrug.
(CLARE)
"Ouch that looks pretty bad," Adam says pulling up my sleeve and exposing part of the bruise that Eli gave me this morning. I bite my lip unsure of what to tell him, the bruise very obviously looks like a hand print. "Clare how did you get this?" Adam questions, knitting his eyebrows together with concern as he looks back up at me worried but with a little anger in his eyes because I'm hurt.
"Eli but he didn't mean to, you know how he gets carried away," I reply.
"Yeah but that doesn't mean he can hurt you what were you guys doing?" Adam inquires.
"He saw me talking to Fitz at the Dot and got jealous, I told him nothing happened and Fitz was just offering me a ride but he was jealous," I tell Adam.
"Like last year?" Adam questions.
"Well he's not crashing his car," I reply.
"Miss Edwards, Mr. Torres please pay attention," the teacher snaps at us and we quiet down.
When physics lets out it's time for lunch, normally we'd be walking out with Becky, the four of us would then eat lunch together outside. However Becky was sick and therefore not at school so it was just me and Adam. Eli had learned to tolerate Becky but only because she was so important to Adam, at least Eli made the effort though. Becky of course wanted to be instant friends with both of us something easier for me to do than Eli. Adam and I walked out to the back courtyard where Eli was already sitting under a tree and waiting for us.
"Hey Beautiful," Eli greets me with a soft kiss before grinning at Adam.
"Eli you really hurt her, look at what you did," Adam admonishes pushing my sleeve up so Eli can see.
"Clare I'm so sorry," Eli says with real shock in his voice like he doesn't remember doing it. He kisses my bruise and then squeezes me tightly kissing my jaw. "You know I never want you to be hurt I love you so much Clare," Eli tells me but looking at Adam.
"I know Eli I told him it was an accident," I reply.
"I know it was an accident but if you're going to starts getting jealous over Fitz again then I think you need more medication or something. C'mon Eli you know Clare would never do anything with Fitz other than be his friend," Adam states.
"I just lost my head I can't lose you Clare I love you too much," Eli declares but almost with a pleading tone.
"I know Eli I love you too," I reply kissing him gently.
Eli grins and I eat lunch with his arms around me, after we're done eating Adam tells me he'll see me in our communications technology class next period and goes off to call Becky. I try to get up to go to my locker but Eli grabs me pulling me down again and holding me even tighter than before.
"Why did you tell Adam?" He asks and there's a scary tone in his voice.
"I didn't he saw the bruise Eli and I had to tell him what happened but I did tell him it was an accident," I assure Eli.
"Now he thinks I'm crazy," Eli growls.
"Eli he doesn't think you're crazy he's just worried, we don't want you to hurt yourself again like last year. Maybe you should talk to your therapist you were doing so well," I tell him and I meant it in a good way with concern but Eli took the wrong way and he flips! Literally he flips us so that I'm lying on my back all of a sudden with him hovered over me and his knee digging into my side!
"ARE YOU SAYING I'M NOT DOING WELL NOW?! I DON'T NEED A THERAPIST CLARE I AM NOT CRAZY!" He yells just inches from my face and my chest gets tight with fear as I lose all my air.
"Eli stop I never said you were crazy, Eli please you're scaring me," I beg close to tears because I am very afraid.
Suddenly he's a whole different person, like flipping a switch Eli's face changes; his body relaxes his demeanor changes. He gets off me and sits me up stroking my face with very apologetic eyes and giving me a very gentle loving kiss.
"Clare I'm so sorry I don't know what got into me I'm so stressed right now and just so worried I'm going to lose you. Please don't leave me Clare, please need you, I love you don't leave me," Eli begs me and curls up like child putting his head in my lap.
I look at him a second totally dumbfounded, I'm sure that something is not right with him but I don't know if Eli will accept help.
"I won't leave you Eli," I assure him stroking his hair, "I promise I won't leave you I love you too."
Update on June 20th including more Owen pov and the Ice Hounds becoming more suspicious of Eli's behavior.