A/N- You all voted, and 28 of you wanted a loud, obnoxious, sarcastic Jericho instead of a serious one. I don't blame you. This takes place present day, and obviously neither are married. It gets better and really picks up in the second chapter when things are explained.
Inspiration for this: Those backstage segments lately with Jericho and Steph.
XX
I Love You, I Don't Like You
"Steeeepppphhhhaaannniiieeee."
"Not now Chris." She didn't even take the time to stop and ask him what he wanted. She knew.
"I've come to ask you out on a date." Chris said walking a few steps behind her.
"Come on Steph, you know you want to go on a date with the sexy beast."
"Wasn't it just yesterday you told me you hated my mom and dad for producing a disgusting offspring like me?" Stephanie finally stopped to face him.
"Why yes it was. I'm glad you remember our moments together." Chris thew his arm around her and smiled.
"So how about that date?" He tried again.
"You've been asking me out for two years, and the answer is always the same, no." Steph could never really figure him out. He constantly told her that he hated her, then proceeded to ask her out. He basically stalked her at work, and more often then not, at the hotel.
"What if I said please?"
"What if you left me alone?" She shrugged his arm off her shoulder and scowled at him.
"Impossible. You love me, admit it." He attempted to put his arm back around her shoulder's but she moved away.
"No. Now excuse me while I finish my job."
"Any chance you need my assistance?" Chris offered, more than willing to her.
"No Jericho, leave." She was becoming increasingly annoyed.
"Fine, but if you need my services for anything, you know where to find me." He turned and walked away, but not before smacking her ass in the process and earning himself a clipboard being chucked at his head. God he loved that woman.
XX
"She's playing hard to get, Cody Rhodes. I know she wants me."
"But Chris, you've been after her for years and she has never cracked." Cody didn't understand the attraction he had towards her, but knew it was taking over his mind.
"Oh but she will soon. I happen to have a plan."
"Have you decided to stop insulting her and telling her you don't like her, just love her?" Cody asked in all seriousness.
"No jerkoff. That would never work. I have something much better in mind."
"And that would be...?"
"Make Stephanie McMahon fall in love with me too." Cody rolled his eyes, that's been the plan from the beginning.
"Sounds good." No need to discourage the man.
"Of course, we'll improvise if need be."
"We?" Cody wanted no part in this. Odds were, Chris was going to do something to get himself hurt, suspended, or fired.
"Yes assclown, I am enlisting your help."
"No." Cody insisted.
"Yes."
"No."
"Be at my room by nine, we'll talk strategy. Don't be late. I need to go find my future wife." Chris picked up his bag and left his personal locker room.
"No." Cody repeated, even though he knew Chris had left. It made him feel better about himself, because he knew he was going to show up.
XX
"I really hate you Stephanie." Chris was standing in the parking lot next to her rental car.
"You volunteered to carry my bag!" She should have known he would complain.
"So what do you say about that date? I'll even buy." She was tempted to make a comment but held back.
"Sorry Chris. We'd never get along."
"Are you kidding? There isn't one person on this Earth I can't get along with." Chris protested.
"Cena, Batista, Shawn, Kurt Angle, Austin, Trish Stratus, Adam, Jay, Rock, my dad, Torrie Wilson, Brock lesnar, Test, Hunter, Glenn, the guy who works the popcorn vendor, your mother, 'Taker, and Foley, just to name a few." He stayed silent as she rattled off all these names.
"Technically, I said can't get along with. I COULD get along with all those people if I wanted to." Chris insisted.
"Yeah right. The only person you're nice to is Teddy and no one knows why."
"And Cody Garrett Runnels." Chris added.
"No, you're a dick to that man." Chris ignored her and moved on.
"If I'm nice to everyone for a week, will you go on a date with me?" Stephanie thought for a moment about his deal before answering.
"Two weeks."
"TWO WEEKS? That's going a little bit far now Stephanie. If you had to deal with the jackasses I deal with, you wouldn't be nice either." He protested.
"Two weeks Jericho. And I'll go on ONE date with you." Steph promised.
"Fine. Go get hit by a bus or something, I'm leaving." Two weeks? He couldn't do it.
"Bye Chris." She held back a laugh as he walked away.
"Love you Stephanie." She was wondering when he was going to get around to telling her that. He usually does it at least three times a day, not counting the voicemails he left her.
Chris slowly walked to his car in a much better mood. Of course, he'd now have to be nice to every assclown, jackass, and jerkoff that crossed his path. But...it wouldn't hurt to make a comment if Stephanie wasn't around, would it? He'd just be nice around her. He'd get that date with her.
If it was the last thing he did.