For years, white had been his color.
The color of the cape that flowed down the back of his white armor; the color of the shield that protected him; the color of his sister's skin; the color of the seed he spent upon her white, open thighs..
But the white he had donned grew soiled; drenched in betrayal, treason, and blood. Slowly, at first, but one slice with a golden sword cemented it all. It was almost as if others saw him wearing the rust brown color of dry blood rather than white; the looks they cast him, the things they whispered, the things they boldly said to his years, white had been his color.
The color of the cape that flowed down the back of his white armor; the color of the shield that protected him; the color of his sister's skin; the color of the seed he spent upon her white, open thighs..
But the white he had donned grew soiled; drenched in betrayal, treason, and blood. Slowly, at first, but one slice with a golden sword cemented it all. It was almost as if others saw him wearing the rust brown color of dry blood rather than white; the looks they cast him, the things they whispered, the things they boldly said to his face.
Jaime Lannister hardly wondered what they thought of him now. He shared their thoughts.
Handless, garbed in crimson and gold, Warden of the West and Lord of Casterly Rock, misery carved deep into his eyes.
His lord father and eldest son dead, his brother exiled, and his sister..
Jaime shook her green eyes from his mind and took a deep pull from his wine. He could not pull her into his thoughts without a certain knight and fool laughing in his face..
But all of that was behind him now. He was the new Lord of the Rock, and everything that had happened in King's Landing was said and done, left to rot in the past.
Or at least that's what Jaime Lannister kept telling himself.
Usually it was hard for him to push out everything that happened, everything he had done. It all weighed down on him, crushing his lungs and leaving him breathless. At night, the confused, terrified look on the Mad King's face haunted his dreams. The melancholy eyes of Rhaegar peered at him through the darkness. Cries of dying men and women deafened him. Eddard and Catelyn Stark, Elia Martell and her children, his own father..their white, decaying faces dug into his eyes with the long, grotesque finger nails of King Aerys. Shadows in white armor strangled him with hands of gold.
But at this moment, with the setting sun painting Jaime's solar in orange as he sat in a chair with wine in hand, his mind was still. A light breeze kissed his cheeks, and the fire across the room wrapped around him snugly. In moments like this, Jaime was able to look out over the western lands and truly believe that this was where he belonged.
A sigh escaped Jaime's lips as he drained the last of his wine. The day had been chilly and lazy, leaving the Lord of the Rock with only a few small matters to tend to. Still, Jaime was relieved when he was able to retire to his own apartments, able to be alone.
However, right after the sun disappeared below the horizon, there was a knock on his door, causing his heart to quicken its pace. Every time someone came after daylight, a sense of dread washed over him. He dreaded the day a letter came from the queen..
"Come in." Jaime called, standing to pour himself some more wine in case he needed it.
"My lord, we had a raven arrive." Lewys Piper entered Jamie's solar and held out a letter, his face curious.
Jaime hesitated before reaching for it, the seal of the letter injected a chill down his spine.
The purple wax bore the seal of House Dayne.
Jaime Lannister stood silent, staring at the parchment in his hand, his face carved of stone.
"Is something wrong, my lord?" Lewys asked, his curiosity replaced with confusion.
It took Jaime a few moments to register the squires words, but with a wave of his hand the hesitance melted away. "All is well. You may go."
The boy bowed his head and retreated, but not without glancing back at Jaime before closing the door behind him.
Jaime remained standing, his mouth dry and his hands frozen, gripping the letter tightly. A million thoughts raced through his mind, and he felt as if a million ghosts were looking over his shoulder, breathing down his neck.
The shadow of Arthur Dayne seemed to be standing before Jaime, gripping Dawn threateningly. The hairs stood on the back of his neck. Suddenly the room was suffocating.
Jaime burst through the doors of his balcony and took a deep breath, letting the chill into his lungs. The cold creeped into his skin as the breeze ran sharp fingers through his golden hair. The tighter he gripped the letter, the louder it screamed at him.
Jaime looked out over the moon-soaked sea that the balcony overlooked. It seemed so still and quiet, softly reflecting the stars above it. What Jaime would give to simply take a ship and sail away on the Sunset Sea, never looking back. No longer would he have to play this game of pretending to be the gallant, noble lord. No longer would he have to dread the looks and glares of strangers. No longer would he have to dread a letter from King's Landing. He wouldn't have to dread reading the words inside the letter from House Dayne.
He briefly considered tossing it into the wind, letting it drift down into the sea to drown.
Jaime didn't know how long he stood looking out into the night, but he finally sighed and walked back into his solar, picked up his cup, and downed it at once. He would need the liquid courage.
Slowly, he tore the seal and unfolded the parchment.
Leia Dayne, sister of Arthur Dayne.
The name echoed through out Jaime's mind for the next few weeks.
The marriage pact has been signed.
He felt bile in the back of his throat whenever her recalled the contents of the letter from Starfall.
Your father's attempt to seal an alliance with Dorne.
He could almost feel Ser Arthur wrap his hands around his throat, he could almost feel Dawn sliding into his bowels.
She will arrive in one month's time. A small party accompanying her.
Damn them all. Jaime thought, grinding his teeth.
He sat upon Honor, watching, waiting, holding his breath. At any moment the "small party" would spill over the hills and into his home.
Damn them, damn them, damn them.
After reading the letter thrice, Jaime tossed it into the fire and watched it burn. He contemplated throwing himself in as well, to try and thaw the blood that ran cold within his veins.
Lord Tywin expressed his desire for you to marry and produce an heir, a new golden lion to one day rule the West in your stead. What better wife for you than our Leia, the Brightest Star in Starfall, in all of Dorne.
Jaime had scoffed at the line, he already produced-
No, he would not think that. Tommen and Myrcella were of his flesh, but never his children, let alone heirs. If the realm were to know the truth, it would cost Cersei and the children their lives..however, the idea of producing legitimate children with another woman sent a wave of panic and nausea through him. Being with another woman alone was enough to send Jaime reeling. He damned his father once more and clenched his jaw.
And then they came.
They broke over the hill slowly, like pus oozing from a wound. Jaime held his breath and eyed the banner leading the way. Leading the group was unmistakably the banner of House Dayne, the lavender field hosting a falling star and sword. Jaime's heart sank miserably.
The party was small, however, no more than fifty, and Jaime was thankful for that. He loathed playing host to Dornishmen at all, so the lesser the better. Jaime put his spurs into Honor and trotted to meet the party halfway, signaling his guards to stay behind.
It seemed as if he was moving in slow motion as he approached the oncoming Dornishmen.
"Well met, Ser." called the voice of a knight in a flowing lavender cloak. His helm was decorated in the falling star of Dayne, delicate yet proud. He raised a hand to stop the procession behind him.
"May I have the pleasure of knowing your name, Ser?" Jaime inquired, ignoring the cheerful tone in the knight's voice. He had no patience for forced pleasantries this day. He avoided scanning the crowd of people, he wanted to put off facing Leia Dayne for as long as possible.
"I am Erron Dayne, head of Lady Leia's guard." he removed his helm and flashed Jaime a grin. His pale blonde hair spilled over his shoulders and his pale blue eyes sparkled with friendliness and something on the edge of...mischief. Jaime instantly took a disliking to the man.
Four other knights stood beside him, each in different shades of purple. Ser Erron motioned to them.
"We are her sworn swords, here to protect her from whatever she may need protecting from." Erron said, smiling through the thinly veiled threat. "We look forward to seeing Casterly Rock and all of its fabled glory."
I'd gladly show you the glory of the lion's dens, Ser. Jaime thought sourly. Though he forced a thin smile.
"I hope you are not disappointed, ser. It is a bit lonely here, I'm afraid. Most of the men are sweeping up the mess in the Riverlands, while more are in King's Landing with my sweet sister and the king. I'm sure the ones left here will be glad to see new faces."
Ser Erron Dayne cast a look over Jaime's shoulder, to the small group of men he had rode out with. A flicker of amusement crossed his face and he nodded.
"I'm sure we will be very comfortable here. Shall we?" Erron gestured to the Rock and Jaime almost scowled.
He damned his father once more. What could he have possibly been thinking? Inviting Dornishmen to the Rock after his sister had all but put their prince to death.
"Very well." Jaime consented, though as he turned Honor towards Casterly Rock, he heard a girl's voice.
"Ser Erron, aren't you going to introduce me to Ser Jaime?"
Jaime stopped cold and swallowed hard. He had hope to avoid her until he reached the Rock, and even then he wanted to meet her alone.
"Oh, of course, my lady." Erron's annoying voice said, softening in a way that told Jaime the knight was a little fond of his lady.
Jaime turned and locked eyes with Leia Dayne.
Her face was raw from windburn from riding upon her red stallion all the way from Dorne. Underneath that her skin was sunkissed by the Dornish sun, and her hair was a tumble of dark curls. The silver gown she wore was inlaid with lavender and pearls lined the collar. She had lavender velvet riding gloves, and her cloak was fluid as water, a lavender stream down her back and over the rump of her steed. She had a small smile playing at her lips, but her eyes, her dark indigo eyes bore into Jaime harshly. Jaime could almost see venom dripping from her teeth.
She is a viper in sheep's clothing. Jaime thought at once. He did not like the look in her eyes at all.
"Lady Leia, I am beyond honored to meet you. I'd kneel, but it would seem I'm atop a horse, and it would be such a hassle to get down."
Leia shrugged. "All is well. I'd hate to make you climb all the way down just to get those fine crimson clothes dirty. Plus, I can't imagine how hard it would be to get back upon your horse." Leia purred, an innocent smile on her face.
The jab at his hand made Jaime sick.
I'd love to slap that smile from your face, my lady. Jaime forced a smile despite the anger rising inside of his throat.
"How thoughtful, Lady Leia."
"I do what I can, ser." Leia turned to Erron and smiled. "Shall we now, ser?"
The knight grinned at his lady and placed his helm back upon his head. "If our host permits, I suppose we shall."
Wordlessly, Jaime jerked Honor's reigns around and put his spurs to him.
Damn. Them All.
Jaime Lannister missed the color white.