Summary: The Archdemon is dead, and so is Alistair Theirin, Leraen Cousland's betrothed lover and the successor to the Fereldan throne. The Warden soon finds herself forced to marry another despite her protests during the worst of her grief. Can love be found in this unlikely place? Includes a Teagan x Cousland pairing with some Coulistair through flashbacks.
Now, just in case you couldn't guess, this story does contain spoilers to the ending of the game. There is also character death in this first chapter. This story is rated T for some violence, infrequent mild language, and perhaps a bit of implied sexual content later. There may be future chapters where some scenes might become more intense than what this list allows, and while I doubt that it will be intense enough to warrant a rating change, I will be sure to give warning if I think anyone might find the content disturbing.
Since this story was started almost four years ago, there are elements that would be considered non-canon now as well, since going back to change them would change the whole plot of the story. Please keep this in mind as you read.
This story is also on AO3! It can be easily found on through the site's search system. Alternatively, you can find it through my profile there, which is linked to my profile here. I would post a link here but this site won't let me do that. :(
One more thing: the Warden's name, Leraen, is pronounced like Luh-ray-in, just in case you were wondering.
I hope you enjoy! All feedback is really, really appreciated. And loved. And re-read at least twenty times. :)
Nothing that existed in Ferelden could have adequately prepared anyone for what would happen on that day. Not the abominations from the Circle Tower, the broodmother from the Deep Roads, the monstrosities that had been seen in the Fade, or even the execution of her own family.
Leraen Cousland had frozen once she had finally arrived at Denerim's door. The blood, the bodies, the cries and shrieks of pain and terror that filled the air were enough to make her contemplate abandoning the army just to leave the horror of it all behind her. If it were not for her comrades around her who bolstered her courage, she would have run in the opposite direction of the terrible slaughter without a second thought. The darkspawn, the dragons, all of it were enough to make her wish that she could flee.
But it was him that helped her through it. Her knight who with but a glance would motivate her to see their mission to its completion, could embolden her with a smile, and inaudibly would promise to follow her to the end with a simple squeeze of her hand. Even though she had been given the mantle of the party's leadership from its creation, she felt like Alistair had been the one who gave her the amount of willpower that she needed to press forward.
The entire mission had been a blur to her. It felt as if she was being dragged by the forces of fate and necessity and pushed by the demands that came with her role as one of the last Grey Wardens. She was nothing but a doll then; a marionette that was manipulated by a purpose that no one else could or wished to bear.
Leraen could recall her and Alistair's dismay when Riordan had fallen prey to the Archdemon. They both knew what it would mean to them and silently accepted what it signified, both too pained by the event to speak of it to the other. Leraen knew that Alistair had decided then that he would sacrifice himself for his would-be queen, but Leraen resolved herself to see that she would drive her blade into the demon's skull first. After all that had happened between them, how could she simply allow him to die for her? How could she just let him sacrifice himself when he was going to become Ferelden's king?
And then, the time to battle the Archdemon came.
The intense fear came again to Leraen when they actually saw the demon, which roared as it saw its new opponents. Leraen's allies: the mages, the dwarves, and Arl Eamon's men were already there attempting without much success to defeat the beast.
"For Fereldan!" she shouted as the party rushed upon the Archdemon.
Leraen's fear didn't subside, but instead drove her through the motions of combat as the battle against the dragon waged on. She steeled herself as its purple flames incinerated soldiers into ashes, while it bit others in half, and stomped others into unrecognizable shapes. She numbed herself to the emotions that coursed through her while their blood flew in her direction and landed on her armor. She didn't allow herself to falter when her friends would yelp in pain from the injuries they received from the demon, and thanked the Maker when she saw that they were able to get up to endure the battle anyway. Even when they seemed to be making progress in defeating the creature, she felt like she would drown in her sorrow over the lives that had already been cruelly stolen from them and the ones that they were yet to lose.
The Warden shielded her ears as cries of pain erupted from the dragon. The Archdemon had flown down to a lower platform on the tower of Ford Drakon in order to recuperate his strength. However, it didn't seem to take into account that archer and mage reinforcements had now come to replace the ones who had fallen. The ranged attackers were doing a very good job at injuring the beast from a distance.
The tower was currently in an even more chaotic state than it was before. The few healer magi were running around frantically to heal the wounded while the rest of the fighters did their best to avoid the Archdemon's devastating spells and attacks. To top it all off, the Archdemon continued to summon horde upon horde of darkspawn and swamped the army below with even more creatures to kill. However, despite the obstacles the demon would throw at them, the Warden's armies seemed to have gained an edge against their enemies.
As the dragon flew back toward the stone platform on which the battle waged, Leraen truly became even more nervous. Alistair ran towards the demon, and she, trying to ensure that he didn't try to slay the Archdemon before she had the opportunity to, sprinted after the monster. She wanted to make sure that it was she, not Alistair, that dealt the killing blow upon the creature. He was to be a king who had a bright future for both himself and Ferelden, and she didn't think that she would be able to live with herself after robbing both her country and her lover of that.
Leraen carefully aimed an arrow towards the dragon. She let go, and with a hiss of the string, the arrow flew and bit right into the demon's tail. The Archdemon yelped in agony before it turned around to find her, obviously intent on finding the source of the arrow that had caused it so much pain.
Leraen strafed to the other side of the dragon before she began to back away. She nearly panicked when it seemed there was no way that she could get away from the beast; there were too many darkspawn and bodies on the ground that prevented her from having a clear route of escape. The Archdemon lunged towards her and scratched at her with its talon, carving through her leather armor and leaving a gash across her shoulder. Leraen yelped as she jumped back before it could do any more damage to her.
"Get out of there, Leraen!" She could hear Leliana shout. The Warden hacked through darkspawn to try to get away, but it proved to be useless. The Archdemon was gaining on her with more speed than she could muster to escape.
This is my chance! Leraen thought when a new idea came to her. She had to defeat the Archdemon before Alistair decided that he needed to save her. She sprinted behind the dragon before it could turn towards her, pulled out her dagger, jumped onto its tail, and used the blade to pierce into its flesh to anchor her against the demon's scales. The dragon screeched and flailed its head around.
"No! You can't do this!" She heard Alistair shout, but his voice seemed so far away to her. She hung on with all of her might as the dragon began to wave its tail around in an attempt to send her flying her off of it. Once she felt that she had a good enough grip, she moved the dagger up his tail, climbing up closer to its body.
But suddenly, the dagger came loose from between the dragon's scales. This can't be happening! Leraen thought. She lost her grip and began to slip. The demon, sensing her failure to hold on, whipped his tail harshly and flung the Warden into the wall of the tower. The impact was accompanied with a gruesome snap as she struck against the hard surface. The Archdemon hit her with his tail again, leaving a gaping wound on her leg from one of his sharp scales. Leraen shrieked from the pain that it sent coursing through her body.
This is the end, she thought as she fell into a heap on the ground. The dragon turned to face her, and with an angry roar, it opened his jaw and readied itself to strike at its prey.
"Leraen, get out of the way!" she heard Alistair shout. His voice bolstered her attention, and with a cry of pain, she rolled to her right a moment before the dragon snapped in her direction. The agony that pulsed through her broken body was too much, and if it was any indication, the impact of the dragon's throw had effectively rendered her unusable in battle. She tried to force herself to stand back up, but she was too weak; too injured to support her own weight, and she fell back down to her knees. She closed her eyes and voiced an apology to the people around her that she was failing and to her friends that she was leaving behind. She braced herself for the demon's second attack and the dark, merciful oblivion that would accompany it, but it never came. Slowly, she uncovered her eyes and peeked out from behind her arm at the scene that was unfolding around her.
"You will not touch her!" Leraen heard her knight shout as he ran to her defense. She felt her heart break in two when she saw what was occurring. Alistair, with his sword held high, slit his weapon through the dragon's throat while it had been distracted by its need to consume Leraen. He then proceeded to jump onto its neck with a loud shout, poised his sword, and drove his blade into the Archdemon's crown.
"Alistair, no!" Leraen found herself screaming. This was not how it was supposed to end! Alistair could not be the one to slay the dragon. He had a job to do, a duty to Ferelden and its people. He couldn't do this to them. He couldn't do this to her. She was supposed to be the one to give herself up to kill the Archdemon.
A blinding light flashed from the dragon as its essence searched for a body to possess with an ear-splitting hiss. Leraen covered her ears and hid her eyes again; she couldn't bear to watch as a blinding golden light surrounded Alistair's body. This continued for a minute before it reached its peak and suddenly sent out a shock wave that knocked everyone who was still standing to the ground. After that, the light disappeared and the hissing stopped almost as abruptly as it started. When it did end, Alistair's body collapsed and fell upon the stone floor with a loud and sickening thud.
Leraen opened her eyes to the eerily quiet scene; the only things that could be heard were the wind, the screams of defeat that came from the darkspawn, and shouts of victory that were voiced from the men who were left on the ground below the tower, but even they felt strangely distant. Bodies, both dead and unconscious, surrounded her on the blood-stained battlefield. Other soldiers slowly got up from the ground, but Leraen didn't notice them. Time seemed to stand still when she began to scan the area around the slain Archdemon for her knight, and finally, her eyes rested upon his still form next to the dragon's corpse. Her heart skipped a beat as she saw his chest weakly rise and fall. Was Alistair still breathing?
She tried to stand again but fell back to her knees when her legs collapsed out from under her, her right leg screaming in a painful protest to her movement. A quick glance at both of her legs revealed to her an ankle that was contorted in an unnatural position and showed a deep gash from the demon's scale across the thigh of her other leg, but the state of her crippled body could not stop her. She knew that she had to get to him; he didn't have much time left before his life would be claimed by the Archdemon's essence. Ignoring the pain that shot through her broken frame, she slowly dragged herself towards the knight's still body through the blood and corpses that covered the stone floor.
"I'm so sorry, darling," Alistair said weakly in-between a couple bloody coughs as she grew closer to him. "I couldn't control myself, Leraen. I had to save you."
"Shhhh," Leraen hushed him as she dragged herself next to her knight; her king. "It's all right." Cold, uncontrollable tears fell down her cheeks and soft sobs wracked her chest while she laid herself down next to Alistair.
"I can't believe that this ends it all. I never even got to see what being king was going to be like... which I wouldn't call a bad thing." His speech brought another bout of coughing that spurted blood onto his chin, but Leraen did her best to smile at him anyway.
"Oh, stop it Alistair," she said. "You are going to make a fine king, you'll see." Her vision blurred over as tears welled in her eyes. She wiped them away and drew closer to Alistair so that she could get a better look at his face. "You are going to be fine," she said in denial of the events that were unfolding before her.
"Leraen, it's too late for me. There's nothing more that can be done." He weakly stroked her cheek, unknowingly smearing some of his own blood onto her face. She raised her own hand and gently caressed his as she pressed it next to her cheek, not caring about the red liquid that was spread across her cheek that had seeped into her eye, painting her vision a crimson color. "Don't be afraid. You must know that I will always be with you."
"Please, don't go." She laid her head onto his shoulder, staring into his clouded, brown eyes.
"I would stay if I could, love. It hurts so much to leave you here." He started to twirl a stray lock of her hair that had liberated itself from under her leather helm. "But I would sacrifice myself a thousand times if it would give you life."
"I love you, Alistair," Leraen said softly as her own sobs threatened to claim her voice.
"I love you too... always." He gently smiled at her one last time as he slowly took her hand and planted a soft, cold kiss against it. His grip gradually loosened and his arm weakly sank to the ground before his eyes became motionless. Leraen blinked in disbelief, half expecting him to look back up at her with his usually present humor glistening in his eyes, to kiss her again, laugh, and say that it was all a prank or a cruel joke, but he never did. His eyes remained clouded over and emotionless and his lips remained still, completely lacking of all the effervescent life that he used to possess.
He was dead and gone.
Leraen finally gave in to mourning her lost lover. She stroked his brown hair, gently closed his eyes with her fingertips, kissed his forehead, and buried her face into his still chest.
Wynne moaned as her eyes fluttered open, her hand flying to her head to rub her aching temples. What had happened? Her mind began to race as she took in her surroundings.
Leliana sat across from her with her back against the stone wall of the fortress. She appeared to be very upset, with her slumped shoulders and her red, misty eyes that seemed to be locked onto a scene in front of her. Wynne slowly stood and walked over to the bard to see what the matter was.
"It's Alistair," Leliana said once Wynne was close enough to see what was happening. Leliana waved a red strand of hair out of her face and wiped her eyes before looking to the elder mage beside her. "He's gone." She pointed to the center of the tower, where a weeping woman laid over a dead soldier. "I can't get Leraen to move away from him."
It was then that Wynne's memory came rushing back to her, retelling the recent events in vivid detail. She nodded towards the bard and thanked her while she walked towards Leraen, her mind racing while she tried to come up with some piece of comfort for her poor friend. She had two nearby soldiers fetch a stretcher before they came to walk with her to approach Leraen. Wynne had seen the Warden get slammed against the wall by the Archdemon before she had fallen unconscious, and she had no doubt that Leraen had been injured.
Hesitantly, she walked up to her friend. Her quaking, sobbing body lay next to Alistair in a pool of blood, her face hidden deeply in his chest.
"Leraen, dear, I'm so sorry..." Wynne's voice trailed off as she tried to hide the surprise she held once she laid her eyes on the form of the dead Warden. Alistair was gone! Her eyes began to well up, but she did her best to hide them for Leraen's sake. She didn't look like she was faring very well either, and the mage was not about to let her bleed out from her wounds. "Why don't you come with me? You are in dire need of a healer."
"No, I will not leave him," the grief-stricken Warden said in-between her sobs. "Please, let me stay with him. I will not go!"
"Leraen, Alistair gave himself for you. Will you allow his sacrifice to be in vain?" The mage bent down and examined the lady's wounds, taking note of the wound on her right leg that she saw through a hole in her leather armor, a gash that crossed her shoulders, and the injured ankle that made the Warden cry out and flinch when she touched it. "Please, let us help you. Alistair's death will cause us too much grief; we couldn't bear to lose you as well."
"No, I will not abandon him!" Leraen shouted at Wynne with intense distress, grief, and pain that were painted all over her face. She attempted to sit up but fell back to the ground. The poor girl had nearly lost all of her strength. "You can't take me away from him!" She continued to echo.
"I am very sorry, Leraen, but you leave me with little choice," Wynne said before she advanced toward the Warden. Wynne laid a hand on Leraen's shoulder, and after a moment, the lady's posture visually slackened. "Lay her on the stretcher," Wynne ordered the soldiers as the Warden began to succumb to her spell. But as they passed her dead lover's body, not even the magically-induced sleep could rob her from planting a final kiss onto Alistair's chilling forehead.
"I love you, Alistair," she whispered into his ear one last time before a merciful state of unconsciousness finally came to claim her.