Harry Potter
And The Other Two Kids
CHAPTER 1: The Pre-Amble
Harry Potter is a wizard. As if you didn't know that. To sum up the last six years, here is a short prologue to fill you in. Harry is an orphan from a non-wizarding family (actually his aunt and uncle), and then he found out that he was a wizard from a scrubby magical version of the Jolly Green Giant. Whoa. Then he went to a wizard school and had wacky adventures with his best two friends, while facing occasional controversy from having survived the king of all spells, Abra Kadavra. Oops, I mean Avada Kedavra. My bad.
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He and his best chap Ron Weasley were playing a sensible game of Exploding Go-Fish in the shabby loft called the Burrow when there was a sudden announcement from downstairs.
"Oy!" Ron's father, Arthur called, "Hey Weasleys, I just want everyone to know that we're poor."
"Huh?" called Ron.
"What I meant to say is that I'm fired, so we're poorer than we were before," his dad replied.
"Oh," Ron said, then "WHAT?"
"What, are you deaf? I said we're out of money, so we're going to do what all Europeans eventually do...move to America!"
"Oh, Arthur!" said Ron's mom, Molly.
"Eh, I guess this isn't as bad as the time when dad enrolled us in the Marines," Ron said to Harry.
The next day the Weasleys, along with Harry and the other best friend, Hermyoine... I mean Heyermoyn. Hullerperloon. Whatever, the only chick in the triangle, was at London International. The Wealseys were scheduled for flight 653, to America.
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"Err..." said Ron.
"Yeah..." replied Harry.
"Um, I'll write lots."
"Keep in touch," Harry said, on the brink of tears.
"Oh, honestly, you've been saying goodbye for two hours," Hermy-whatever said.
And so Ron left for the boarding gate. He walked until he came to the barrier between Gates Nine and Ten. He then broke at a run for the gate, but to his surprise he did not vanish into the magical Platform, but instead his skull collided with the cold steel of the Barrier. Darkness covered him like an electric blanket (dang those things are nice)...
When Ron awoke, he was aboard what appeared to be a moving Butterbeer bottle with seats.
"Mum..." he moaned.
"Ohh, Ronnie, you've been out for five hours," Mrs. Weasley said softly.
They were on what certainly appeared to be an airborne train. Apparently they were on an aeroplane, as the British say it. They were now en-route to New York.
"Where are we?" asked Ron.
"On an aeroplane," said his twin brothers Fred and George simultaneously.
"That's really creepy when you do that," said Ginny, another freaky sibling of Ron.
"What is?" they said together.
"Excuse me, you're brother just had a near death experience," said Mrs. Weasley very sternly.
A voice came over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to land in the city of New York, not quite as good as Olde York, but just as clean. Please take you're seats and return... ah, well, you know the drill."
A drunken old woman then threw a whiskey bottle which randomly flew through the air and bounced off the top of Ron's head. He all of a sudden felt very sleepy and conked out like a light in the uncomfortable Economy-Class chair...
Author's Note: Well i hope you like it! It's entirely to be a parody only...I really like staying true to the actaul story but I felt that a funnier spin was needed...even if the theme of the books shouldn't be taken lightly...my next work will be mroe serious...there will be another chapter soon! More about Ron's adventure in America, and of course Harry/Hermione...plz review!