Chapter 1 I Wanna know
It was a sunday,Sara was listening to music with a bottle of beer in her hand going over an old case one she had'nt solved knew she should'nt be drinking she sort of came to a conclusion with her case, when a knock at her door stopped her in her wondered who it was she was'nt expecting it be grissom? or ecklie maybe he was hunting her down for what happened earlier?I hope it's grissom? she spoke mentallyshe picked up the remote for her cd player and pressed pause.
He Stood at the door waiting, wanting, wondering why? He Itched his beared he only did this when he was nervous,yes you could say he was nervous so nervous he was sweating razor thought about what to say, but his mind went door opened, he was'nt stood the 5'9 Brown haired beauty she spoke "Well if your here it can't be good"
"Can I come in?" He spoke back she replied with her eyes and stepped back to let him in she kinda knew what this would be about so she worked up the courage "wanna ask me if im drunk" she teased playfully as she shook the bottle in front of him.
"We both know that's not your problem"He replied sturnly as he walked through the door she smiled at his reaction and closed the door behind turned around to face her leaning against the kitchen counter she moved in front of him so she was looking directly at him she knew exacly what he was going to say."I spoke to catherine" he said almost sarcasticly, yes he was going to ask her that ,well tell her that."Ecklie?"she questioned she knew what he was talking about "wants me to fire you"he replied with regret in his voice because he did'nt wanna do that and he was'nt gonna do that."I figured"she said with a sigh Shit Sara maybe you have stuck your boot in too far this time giving her time to create an explanation she was thinking of her options she knew grissom was gonna tear her a new one.I can't be rude to him it's grissom even if he does ignor me I'lle show him hospitallity "Can i get you anything".Grissom was getting ready for the volcaneo to explode he did'nt need a drink just an explanation from sara, his mind ticked " explanation?"he said with his innocent voice he was getting ready for the storm, it was was looking around for an explanation don't look into his eyes don't look in his eyes "I...lost my temper"she was looking to the left there I think that's good enought maybe he'lle leave it? she looked at him and gave him her inocent looked beautiful her eyes her beautiful brown eyes but grissom knew body language he read her like her book her look did'nt work on him this time she was lying. he gave it a moment she walked away two the other end of the room he knew why she was doing this the storm was coming as she walked away he spoke "That seems to be happening quite a bit"his head followed her as she walked away she walked slowly as if she was pacing the room. she was thinking "Do you know why?"He continued speaking she stopped at the end of the room and and lent on her chair by the window she toyed with the bottle of beer as she replied "What difference does it make im still fired" he was thinking he gave her a glare Is that what she thinks she should know i would'nt do that i...i do i love her he cocked his head and raised an eyebrow "It makes a difference to me" his tone lowered almost husky he was fighting back what he really wanted to looked at him for a moment into his eyes she knew what he really wanted to say then she looked away don't look into his eyes she cocked her head and faced away from him so she did'nt have to see his reacation to what she would tell him she took a deep breath "I have a problem with authority"She gave him a 'you Know look' and continued speaking "I choose men " guestuing to him "who are emotionally unavalible" She looked away again thinking "Im Self destructive"Thinking of all the things grissom had done had to her and said to her in the past "All of the above" summing it up in one eyes were back on him waiting for an answer he was thinking of a way to start of his sentence he spoke "Have you ever gone a week without a rationalisation?".I canot belive he just said that she even gave him that look of 'oh no here we go' she looked away then looked back at him and braced herself "It's from the big chill" he looked at her with a slight smile she knew grissom was 'talking' now so she moved to sit down she was gonna be hear a while he continued to talk"one of the characters explaining a basic fact of life that rationalisations are more important to us than....."what can i say what can i say
"....Sex even"he should'nt have used 'sex' sara knew he was onto her she smiled at him with her im not saying anything much smile "Im not rationalising any thing I crossed the line with cathrine and I was insubordinant to ecklie"It was hurting her to say that about ecklie because she really meant it she thought grissom was done with his lecture but no he kept on digging "Why?" he wanted to know"leave it alone" she snapped she was'nt ready to bring those emotions out of the closet even if it was for him "No sara" why won't he back off sara was pissed because grissom did'nt have a right interogating her like this he knew it was what she was going to do it's her defence meconisum to get angry like his is to run away and hide "what do you want from me"she shot back in a shere plea of desperation why could'nt he just leave her alone? a year ago sara would have jumped at chance like this she would'nt have been so angry but she was tired of playing games she should just move knew he should'nt back down so he continued digging but he lowered his voice because he wanted to understand her he wanted an answer "I wanna know why your so angry" she just glares at him
"Ok fine that's the way you wanna go..... Im messed up " she growled she knew he was'nt gonna back off. Grissom was fearful now she had a bottle she was armed and angry and she'd been drinking the storm was about to hit he shifted a little to brace him self but it did'nt come sara just sat on her chair she was'nt looking at him now she was in a world of her own staring into space was she going to say anything? she was scilent sara pulled her knees to her chest she was in an emotional place now the room was quiet the only sound was the wind drafting in through the open window grissom moved to her the sofa next to her and sat down so he was facing her "Are you ok" He questioned he was still wandering if she was going to open up to him and explain to him why she did what she did after the long pause she spoke "It's funny,the things you remember and the things you don't you know"she said almost choking up he was listening with his hands crossed "there was a..a smell of iron in the air" She guestured "Cast off on the bedroom wall,there was this young cop puking his guts"she took a short deep gasp "I don't remember the woman who took me into fostercare"she looked at him then back to her empty space and continued "I can't remember her name which is strange,you know cause i could'nt let go of her hand"she was close to crying her voice slowed grissom was taken back by this "Well, the mind has it's filters"Grissom chirpped to try and lighten the mood "I do remember the looks.I became the girl whose father was stabbed to death"grissom grimiced geez sara why had'nt you told me this earlier.Sara took another short sharp breath "Do you think there's a murder gene?" this she wanted to know she looked at him for an answer he knew she wanted this answered he shifted a little "I don't believe that genes are a pridictor of violent behaviour" Sara shaked tears were in her eyes "You would'nt know that in my house the fights the yelling the trips to the hospital I thought it was the way everyone lived...when my mother killed my father I found out that it was'nt"she choked up there was a long silence she was fighting back the tears she looked away and burried her head in her hand and did'nt really know what to do he was sorry he asked but he was glad he knew why sara was like she was I can't just let her sob I've made her do this to herself I've gotta do something.her crying deepend this effected grissom he did somthing he would'nt normaly do he reached for her hand to comfort her and sqooze tightly and sara sqooze back he rubbed her knuckles to comfort her and to let her know he was still there he watched as she cried more and more he could'nt stand it any longer he pulled on her hand towards him and pulled her up so they stood and pulled her in to hug her a friendly comforting hug. at first she faught him off not violently just pushed against him but he was much stronger than her so she gave up she liked the feel of him against her and so did held her in his arms till she stopped shaking and sobbing she snuggled into his a salty wet trail on his Jacket her hands and arms were around his hands were across her back he rubbed one hand up and down to comfort hot breath tickled his neck
she'd stop crying by now she pulled her head away from his neck and looked into his eyes then focused on his lips and slowly closed the gap between them He knew her intentions but before grissom could pull away sara's lips were on his he knew he should stop her but he liked the sensation the taste so he returned her kiss ,they pulled back Second kiss was deeper and more vigoruos she put her arms around his neck and pulled him closer in to her, his hand started to wander down her back to her waist and back up again he knew what to do helped off his jacket and let it slide to the floor while he un-zipped her fleece top and did the same her hands slid across his chest and found the buttons to his knew he should'nt be doing this this was sara she finaly got his shirt off they kissed again grissom broke away from the kiss and just looked at sara.Oh no he regrets it does'nt he."What's up do you wanna stop" sara asked almost in regret he just looked at her and did'nt answer he just kissed her again as deep as he could he needed her and she needed him his hand moved down to her waist and tugged on the bottom of her t-shirt and lifted it up over her head looking in her eyes the whole time he moved his hands over newly descovered area across her stomach over her breasts (she was'nt wearing a bra) up to her neck as though he was scanning ever part of her pulled him into hug so she could feel his scorching skin over her body they Skin on skin stayed like that for the longest time."Gil" she asked "Huh Sara" grissom half groaned half wispered enjoying the sensation of her skin the texture of her hair "Are we just gonna stand here or are you gonna...."
"Your beautiful you know that"he cut her off before she could finish he kissed her again so hard and so passionatly that she could'nt help but shiver he felt her body tingle he loved that it just made her all the more sat back on the couch pulling her on top, with him the mouths still not parting .her hands were wandering so were his they stopped when they reached the top of her jeans drawing a line at her waist his hand were trembling demanding entry he reached for the button on her jeans he was in his own realm by now he was slowly losing control he'd wanted her for so long and he'd only dreamed of this moment it was slowly becoming real.A sharp pain on his arm brought him back to reality "Ow What the hell?" She smirked and looked at him from her big brown eyes "Not on my couch" he kissed her again "And where excaly do we go then" he flirted she got of him and held out her hand to him and walked to her bedroom touching tasting feeling along the in her bedroom she playfully led him to her bed and pulled him on top her she shivered again that sensation of him on her made crazy she needed him and needed him was taking it slow savoring every moment of it he waited so so long for this moment but taking it slow was just driving her started at her neck kissing touching ever so softly with his lips and tounge were he kissed his hands replaced he stopped at the top of her jeans again and placed kiss just below the top of her jeans his hands move to the button and released it and slowly pulling her jeans free "Oh good god gil"sara moaned grissom knew he was doing something right he did the same again placed a kiss just above her panties and in one smooth action pulled them down sara groaned again she was enjoying this so much he moved back up to sara's lips and kissed her deep and tender to show how much he loved her ever since that day in was losing her patinece she could'nt wait much longer she pushed up and rolled them so grissom was on his back she wanted him inside her now not four hours later the pace grissom was going she moved stright to his belt undid it and pulled it loose next she worked the button free and pulled zipper grissom let out a groan which supprised him no one ever had made him groan like pulled down his trousers and continued the build up to her desire grissom breathing had increased as sara gently touched the fabric covered bulge Grissom was loving this her touch set him on fire his skin was burning every touch sent him higher and closer to the slowly teased down his boxers following them with her tounge down to his feet pulled off the boxers and moved back up to the now naked bulge which was asking to be first touch made grissom scream sara almost laughed she never heard a man scream like that grissom was quite suprised and a little embaressed she moved it towards her mouth and just held thera tickling it with her breath she started at the base and placed her tounge there licking up toward the head stopping then slowly sucking him in. his hands grabbed onto her sholders sucking him in and out grissom started to tighten his grip on sara's shoulders he was so Let out a strangled moan which told sara how close he was she stopped and replaced her mouth with herself and lowered herself on to him it was perfect something they had waited so long to started slow and gentle on top of him he gripped her hips so he could control her to the perfect rhythm she quickend paced he lifted his hips in time with her movements making sure his pubic bone rubbed against her clit so when he came she came with he knew she was now the pace was almost animalistic his breahting was ragged and she was screaming his name almost there one last came and so did she it was like a perfect violent explosion she collapsed on top of him slowing pace his hand was now on her back moving up and down like it had before the room was slilent now there breath slowly returning to was on top of him her head on his chest listening to his heart and his lungs breathing in and out
it was perfect they never thought it would be like this she did'nt want this to slipped off of him and crawled under the covers of the bed he followed her and they snuggled close her head was stilll rested on his chest his breathing was theraputic soon she was sleeping she did not have nightmares that .grissom awoke to a wonderful sight sara's head rested on his chest her warm body against his.
he just looked her watching her sleep he did'nt wanna wake her but his cellphone did .it made him jump it had been quite for so slid out from under her franticly looking for his cell."Grissom"sara was still half asleep but she could tell it was Ecklie his voice was angry "No Not Yet.....What now ...........Conrad...........Fine Whatever" He slammed the phone down on the bed and slumped down at the foot of the bed sara crawled over to him and put her arms around him "what's up hun"she asked "nangy knickers wants to what I have done about you and him and catherine" he sighed "are you gonna tell him" enquiered sara "Should I?"Grissom flirted he turned to her giving her a light kiss "I don't Know I like making him squirm the bastard"Stated Sara Gil slightly shocked at what she said "ok then" he kissed her again it was getting heated "No No Sara Stop I need to see ecklie" "Spoiled Sport" He got up and collected his things showered and got ready sara snuggled back under the blankets just before he left he gave her a kiss "I'lle be back soon...That's if Im allowed back"Sara smiled "Im sure we could make that possable" He smirked and left sara's apartment