A/N: This was originally published to my DevArt account July 22, 2007.
The milky-white mist hung around the man's lanky nude form as he laid there unconscious. There was no sounds, no discernible source of light, and no firm or real surfaces upon which to grasp. Ever so slowly, he began to wake up. It first began with a slight twitch of his fingers, the imperceptible flutter of eyelashes. When his eyes did finally open, they revealed their color as black as sackcloth from which reflections did not return. It took but a moment for the man to suddenly sit up in shock, his bangs of oily black hair falling across his face, and fearfully stare at the expanse of nothingness going on without horizon.
"Where am I?" Severus Snape asked himself quietly.
Looking down, he saw dark brown-red blood had stained his chest from where Nagini had bit into him on Voldemort's command. Feverishly, he began to rub his hands against the stains, trying to rub the flakes of blood off his body. It was all over him and his lips bared back when his fingers probed the neat bite marks in his shoulder and paused in his attempts.
Dejectedly sighing, Severus caustically remarked, "I must be dead. At least if I was I could be the way I was before everything happened."
Warmth began to originate at his solar plexus, and Severus gasped as he felt his body begin to undergo a metamorphosis. His hair grew longer until it hung just pass his shoulders, the lines and bags that marred his eyes became taunt and firm, his sharp cheek bones regained their structure, and the marks of a man that had seen the worse in life erased from his physical body. During this change, the snake's bite marks had shrink until they were no more and the dried blood flaked off his skin, pulled away by an unseen breeze and furled into nothingness.
"I didn't ex-" Severus cut himself off quickly and realized if he had continued, he might lose his regained youth. "This place must grant wishes." He finished aloud.
Pulling himself to his feet, the enormity of standing in a void completely naked struck him, and he loudly announced, "I would like some robes."
On the ground, if you could call it ground, appeared a set of stark black robes. Severus slipped himself into the inky folds and felt a bit better, though still feeling slight trepidation regarding his whereabouts.
With nothing else to do at the moment, Severus shrugged and began to walk around in the swirling mists, the whiteness coloring the landscape in pearly shades of white.
Time seemed to pass by Severus quickly as he wandered the endless mirage of pale light. He thought to himself that he was doomed to wander this space alone for all eternity, it would be a fitting penance for the crimes of his life he thought dejectedly. A penance for his constant mistakes. His mind wandered to his last living image of Lily Potter's eyes as seen through the face of her only child, Harry. He had loved her since he first saw her in the playground down the lane, but his envy and greed, he had come to realize this toward the end of his days, had kept him from her. He gnashed his teeth as the thoughts threatened to overcome him, the memories swirling from every corner of his mind faster and more real than what any Penseive could bring.
"I wouldn't suppose I could get another chance to speak with Lily, would I?!" he shouted up to the endless white sky.
Silence answered him, the mist continued to swirl around.
Within his mind Severus began to berate himself as he stalked forward for even asking whatever being controlled this crossroads such a stupid request. Of course he would not be granted it. He did not deserve to see her again. He had been a fool, but how he loved her, he thought. Stopping where he was at, he closed his eyes against the white landscape and imagined Lily as they were at Hogwart's. He could smell the patchouli that scented her skin and feel the silk that was her fiery auburn hair when he would move it out of eyes. Once more, he allowed himself to remember the warmth of her hand as it held his. It was a warmth that always burned him to his core.
Hot tears began to fall from his closed lids, and he brought a hand up to hastily wipe them away. As he did so, he opened his eyes and saw a change in the landscape before him. Two shapes were coming toward him. One was darker than the other, but it was the primary that his gaze was affixed. A mane of thick red hair took shape as the figure continue to come toward him, her shape revealing itself as a woman. With the red-haired woman was a male companion that had unruly, short black hair and wore glasses. Before they had completely approached him, the woman held her arm out and stopped the man with her and continued forward.
Severus could not breathe. He was inexorably afraid that if he moved even the barest that the vision would go away, that the vision of Lily would vanish from his sight. As she moved closer to him, his heart began to beat harder in his chest. He began to think she might just be real. He knew it when she stopped a foot away from him.
"Hello, Sev," Lily's lyrical voice greeted him.
Hot and fresh, tears sprang anew from Severus' eyes, his mouth unable to reply as he collapsed to his knees before her. He stared up at her emerald eyes and watched as she gently cupped his cheek and caressed him there.
She continued softly, "It's okay, Sev, I'm here. I'm really here." She cooed to him as if to a child.
His voice came out raw and hoarse as he spoke, "Lily..."
She gave him a slow nod and smiled down at him. Within moments Severus had wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed his face into the dark green folds of her robes, the cotton catching his tears as he sobbed against her.
"I'm sorry, it was my fault that you died. It was all my fault!" The words released themselves in a torrent, muffled only slightly by her clothing as Severus shook against her.
Lily knelt down before Severus and forced him to face her, his eyes darting here and there to avoid her sparkling, forgiving eyes. It was then that he noticed who must be James in the distance, and he gazed down at her filigreed shoulder. Lily glanced to where his gaze had stopped before falling again.
She laughed lightly. "Oh, Sev, it is okay. He understands, but do you understand?"
"That you love him."
"Yes, I do. With..." she paused, appearing to choose the next words carefully, "...most of my heart."
Severus tilted his head slight and looked at her again, catching her emerald eyes with his black and queried, "Only most, why not all?"
She took a deep breath and sighed softly. "I love Harry, my parents, even my sister. They share my heart as do others. So I cannot say truthfully that James has all my heart, because he doesn't. It took him time to learn that as well. When Harry was born, he understood."
"Lily, I..." Severus began but she stopped him with the touch of her finger on his lips.
"Not yet," Lily stated and rose up, pulling Severus up with her. "First, I'd like to go for a walk."
Not sure how to reply to her, Severus could only mutely nod and take her hand in his. She glanced over her shoulder to her husband and gave him a small nod. Jame returned the nod and faded into the white mist just as it began to shift. At first its hues began to gain color, soft browns, pale greens, faint blues, and then textures and sharp lines revealed themselves. A length of metal pole with chipping red paint, green leafy bushes, and two swings squeaking as they swung in the breeze. The sky had revealed itself, taking on bright azure color and the only pure white left was in the clouds.
"Where are we?" Severus asked, a bit of awe entering his voice. He shuffled slightly, clearly not used to these less somber and more dulcet tones than the ones he usually carried.
Laughing, Lily ran toward the swings and promptly sat down. She began to swing back and forth, the chains squeaking like the did so many years ago and in ever need of oil. Higher and higher, she swung not answering his question, and he watched her graceful form move to and fro no longer concerned about it for the moment.
Gay laughter erupted from her throat as she shouted, "Catch me, Sev!" and she flew from the seat of the swing into the air. Her back gracefully arced as her arms flew outward like that of a bird in flight. Severus ran forward and caught her without a moment's thought. She was laughing hard against his chest, his arms tight around her.
"Do you remember now?" she asked.
"This is where we first met," Severus responded. "We were not even in Hogwart's yet. I... I watched you leap from the swing and came out to defend you, though I... didn't do too well with that."
"You did fine." Lily smiled up at him. "Come with me." With that, she disentangled herself from his arms and grasped his hand, dragging him behind her toward a stand of trees.
They entered the small glade in the woods, Severus holding her hand tightly. He remembered the spot, it was from the memories he had given to her son to show him the truth.
Severus began to speak and then stopped, his hand clutching Lily's tighter.
"Would you like to know something?" she asked him softly, sensing his need to voice what was on his mind.
"Yes," he spoke, swallowed, and continued, "Do you forgive me for that day, and all the days that followed when I called you a.. a.." His voice faltered and fell silent.
She waited for him patiently to continue.
"For treating you as I did, for putting you and your family in danger, for causing you and your husband's deaths... for your son..." Severus finished the last with a low voice full of remorse.
Lily smiled at him brightly, her eyes lighting up with adoration.
"I do," she replied. "I also thank you for doing what you did to protect my son in the aftermath, for doing things you didn't want to do, for changing your ways. Though I don't think anything could change your naturally snarky attitude." The last was given to him with mirthful laugh, and he couldn't help but join her in it.
"Yes, I suppose not. I was harsh on him, I am sorry for that as well. It was very hard losing you..."
"I know."
Lily caressed his hand lightly with her other, and then reached up to caress his cheek.
"Would you like my confession?" she asked him softly.
Taken slightly aback, he could only nod.
"You are part of my heart as well, Severus, and always has been. Choices had to be made, no matter how painful they were, but you were always there."
A smile broke out upon Severus' face, he felt as if he were floating in the air and could finally tell her what he always had hid inside.
"Lily, I love you, and I always have."
He gently caressed her cheek in turn, no longer fearful of touching her. Lily wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer to him. For him, it became natural in this unnatural place, and his lips descended to hers. He kissed very softly, the barest touch of lips as if he might shatter her should he push harder. Lily returned the kiss in turn, and they broke apart.
"I love you, too, Severus."
The shades of green, gold, and brown were beginning to lose their cohesion, slowly becoming translucent and white. Severus looked almost alarmed and clutched Lily tighter to him.
She spoke with reassurance to him, "It is okay. It is just time."
"You have to go back to James don't you?" he asked, but there was no malice in his voice, only knowing.
Nodding, she stated, "Yes, I do. I love him as well, but it is all right. He's waiting for you, too, and thanks you for doing what you could do for Harry, no matter how hard it was on both of you."
Severus felt himself okay with seeing James Potter again. He felt as if everything was falling into place for him now and that as long as he could be in Lily's world, even if as a dear friend, it would be perfect. She pulled away from him, and reached outward for his hand.
"Severus, are you ready?"
"I am," he answered her, his voice full of happiness he had not known since those childhood times they shared.
Reaching for the offered hand, Severus took into his own and followed Lily along the path out of the forest.
Everything began to turn white, the trees, grass, even the path, until only Lily and Severus remained. Then they, too, faded into white mist, and the afterworld became empty once more.