Unsponsored Content
A/N: Please note, whenever I mention "story properties" I am talking about those two or three lines underneath a story's summary on where things such as genre, characters, rating, word amount, date last updated, etc. are listed. Moving on….
…So…the plot thickens even more…. And behold…one of the few stories on this site to feature Jimmy! (Well one of the few that has Jimmy in the story properties anyway. There's a lot of stories, regardless of the fandom, that don't have any character names listed in the story properties, so for all I know, there's a whole lot more that have Jimmy in them.)
Also behold…the first ENGLISH story to have Nathan in the story properties! (And the 3rd overall!)
Anyways, wow…after having seen this week's episode, "Sponsored Content", I think I definitely know what's been going on this whole time. I have no idea how the season's going to end, but I'm pretty confident as to what all the "behind the scenes" stuff is that people have mentioned in both this and "Naughty Ninjas". And hey, we got to see Nathan again after only another year! Although, I do wish Mimsy was there with him. It was also good to see the PC fraternity since their first appearance in "Stunning and Brave" and it was great to see Mr. Garrison and Caitlyn Jenner still going strong with their presidential campaign since they left at the end of "Where My Country Gone?" And hey, Principal Victoria even showed up out of the shadows, literally!
Anyways, my theory: To make a long story short, South Park, the town, is somehow turning into its own advertisement to advertise…itself. To make a short story long, don't you know how Season 19 seems to be the season of change? As soon as I saw this episode, for the most part, everything clicked. PC Principal trying to improve the town's image and make them more diverse, therefore attracting more people of different races and ethnic origins. The town tried to set up things like SodoSopa, Historic Shi Tpa Town, and the Whole Foods Market in an effort to improve their IMAGE. Cartman and a bunch of celebrities trying to censor negative comments about their appearance in "Safe Space"…it all makes sense now. Whether PC Principal really intended for it or not, his arrival in South Park started a chain of events that is slowly turning the town into a town-sized advertisement of itself.
And as always, I don't own squat and this story is not part of my RFSP series.
Enjoy!
"There's a war coming Jimmy…and I'm just making sure I'm on the right side…."
Nathan's words continued to haunt the young Jimmy Valmer as he had finished talking with Leslie. As hard, and easy at the same time, as it was to believe, he knew it to be true…Leslie was a living advertisement. Jimmy had been told by the ex-newsmen that had brought him in for help that he possessed a special talent (or "handicapped" as Jimmy preferred). Jimmy could tell the difference between pure news and pure advertising; all the way down to that filthy ad's core.
"So you…think Leslie's a living advertisement?" one of the men asked Jimmy.
"T-T-There's no d-d-d-doubt in my mind fellows. L-L-Leslie's a living, breathing a-a-ad-adver-advertisement." Jimmy answered.
Jimmy turned around to face Officer Barbrady, who had been in the room the whole time. "I-I-I want to thank you Officer B-Barbrady. Thank you for saving me from that G-G-Geico guy."
"Anything for you Jimmy!" Officer Barbrady replied. "I'm glad I found you when I did, now that we know about your special gift."
"Actually, I prefer the term 'h-h-handicapped.'. So a-anyways, wh-what do we d-do now?"
"We're not sure. For now though, you need to do some more scouting around and find out exactly what's causing all this and any possibility that we can use in order to stop it; you and Barbrady both."
Jimmy returned to school the next morning and began his mission of gathering more information. Unfortunately, while he was doing alright when it came to following Leslie around, he was met with one nasty surprise: Nathan had taken over the school paper. Jimmy, having no other choice now, decided to confront Nathan about the issue.
"J-Just what the h-hell are you doing?" Jimmy angrily asked Nathan.
"What do you mean Jimmy?" Nathan asked, albeit knowing very well what.
"W-Why are you now the editor of the school p-p-pa-paper!?" Jimmy asked.
"Why would I not be Jimmy?" Nathan responded as smugly as he could. "As far as PC Principal's concerned, I'm doing a far better job at running the paper. I even put ads in the paper to-."
"Y-Y-You WHAT!?"
Jimmy snatched the copy of the day's paper out of Nathan's hand, frantically flipped through the pages, and gasped in utter horror and terror when he spotted a small Geico advertisement nestled in the bottom-left-most corner of the tenth page.
Jimmy was so pissed; he didn't know how to respond.
"Y-Y-You..."
Nathan smirked and flashed the smuggest grin he could muster.
"…S-S-Suck up!" Jimmy finished his earlier sentence. "Y-Y-You're totally sucking up to PC P-P-Principal!"
Nathan retained his smug look. "Why of course I am Jimmy. After all, I told you there's a war coming. And Jimmy…the war's already begun. PC Principal pre-approves my version of the paper now that you're not here to silence him, I make lots of money with each new ad and hidden sponsored content I release, and I plan to use our little friend Leslie to-."
"L-L-Leslie!? Nathan, have you gone in-in-insane!?" Jimmy exclaimed rather loudly. "Nathan, w-w-why?"
"Don't think I don't know about Leslie being an advertisement, Jimmy. Once I seized the paper from you, I happened to stumble upon this Internet ad." Nathan pulled out his phone and pulled up the State Farm ad that featured Leslie on a swing that was being pushed by PC Principal. "With Leslie's help, I can make sure that the progressiveness we've all been experiencing stays. Once we progress far enough, South Park will turn into one giant advertisement."
"B-B-But Nathan, why?"
Nathan's grin became wider and bigger as he responded with a simple two-word answer.
"Why not?"
"W-W-Why not!?" Jimmy loudly exclaimed. "Because people hate a-a-ads, number one! If we all become part of one g-g-giant ad, people are going to hate both the town and each and every one of us individually!"
"But Jimmy, don't you realize that PC Principal is unwillingly an ad in himself?" Nathan asked as he showed Jimmy the State Farm ad again. Jimmy's mouth hung open at the sudden realization.
"There's something going on here Jimmy." Nathan began to foreshadow. "It's something much bigger than the whole advertising conspiracy. The war is nearing, and I'm making sure I know which side we're all on."
"You won't get away with this you b-b-bastard!"
"I already have."
Nathan snapped his fingers, prompting four armed Geico representatives to emerge from a nearby janitor's closet; all with their guns pointed at Jimmy.
"You're going to lose Jimmy Valmer. After all the times your team has beaten my team at summer camp, I've finally turned the tables." Nathan said through his smirk.
Jimmy stood frozen for a few seconds, before turning around and hightailing out of the building with the four Geico gunmen chasing him.
PC Principal himself was currently sitting in his room at the PC fraternity, staring deeply into the aforementioned State Farm ad; trying to figure out what all had been happening.
"I guess they're onto us now." He thought to himself. "I tried to get Leslie to shut up every time I saw her talking to sometime. I was trying to make sure that she didn't corrupt anybody else. After the two of us did that photo shoot for the ad, I came out OK, but she didn't. The process of starring in an ad turned her into a living ad herself. I'm at a loss of what to do."
"Hey bro!"
PC Principal's thoughts were suddenly interrupted when one of his fellow PC frat members came into the room.
"Yeah, what bro?" PC Principal asked.
"Look at this!" he said as he held out his phone. "I was reading an actual news story, one that was about the recent attacks in Paris, when I accidentally clicked on an ad, and when I tried to close out of it, it brought me to this toothpaste ad, and when I closed out of that, it immediately opened this up!"
PC Principal stared at the screen and was pleased when he saw that the article in question was actually advertisement for the South Park Elementary Super School Newspaper.
"Well…at least that's starting to work out."
"Bro, if you're so concerned about you and Leslie turning into advertisements, then how exactly is this a good thing?"
"It's really not." PC Principal sighed. "But after what's happened to me and Leslie and after what that little handicapped kid's done to me, I figure that as long as the ends justify the means, this is the way to turn everything around. By the way, have you seen Randy recently? He's not been here for a while."
"I'm not entirely sure bro. Last I heard, it was something about his wife forbidding him from coming here again. It was something about him changing or whatever, I don't know."
"I see…."
Jimmy whipped out his phone and called Officer Barbrady.
"B-B-B-BARBRADY! HELP! There's four a-a-advertisement supporters trying to s-s-sh-shoot me!"
It wasn't very long after the call that Barbrady came to the rescue. Officer Barbrady pulled up in his car, hurriedly ushered Jimmy in, gave Jimmy his gun, and Jimmy began firing out the window. He hit three of the Geico representatives, the lone survivor shouting something about how ads always find a way to win.
"*whew* T-T-Thanks again B-Barbrady!"
"No problem kid. Have you discovered anything else?"
"You b-b-bet I have! It turns out, Nathan, my old rival from summer camp, has t-t-taken over the school paper! PC Principal preapproves e-e-e-everything that goes in there, and N-N-Nathan has even started putting ads in there!"
"Oh my God! But why?"
"It was all a s-s-setup Barbrady! All these c-c-changes that we've been going through were all j-just one giant ploy to turn the town into one g-g-giant advertisement of itself! I'm starting to think that PC Principal is also an ad h-h-h-him-himself!"
"Really?"
The two donned on the theory for a while, before they both agreed that it had to be true.
"Of course!" Barbrady realized. "PC Principal is just one big ad! He began advertising Caitlyn Jenner to us, then he advertised Canadian immigrants to us, then he advertised anti-body shaming, and then affirmative consent! He's somehow using his advertising powers to turn the focus from us to the entire town! If we don't do something, all of South Park will be as ad-cluttered as the average Internet page!"
A/N: I'm not sure whether I should continue this or not. After all, the season/current story arc still has two more episodes, so it's likely that whatever happens in episode 1909 is going to be a continuation of "Sponsored Content." With that being said, the continuation of this one-shot will likely coincide with my one-shot for 1909.
Anyways, what do you think? I'm officially standing by my original theory of PC Principal being gone by the end of the season. After seeing this week's episode, I'm sticking by that 100%. And I wonder…is it possible that PC Principal and all his PC bros are all crab people? After all, the crab people tried to change South Park into a metrosexual town in Season 7's "South Park is Gay!" remember? I think I'll stand by this theory as well?
And I did get a laugh out of what Stephen Stotch was saying about Internet news and ads. Everything he said, I totally agree with and I often experience all those Internet ad annoyances myself. And for the record, I've never used any kind of Adblock program (except for my school issued laptop last year), but now that I think about it, I'm guessing it wouldn't help me that much anyway.
Any feedback is much appreciated! I'd also love to hear your theories as to what exactly is going on in the show! :)