The last thing Gold wanted to admit was that they cared.
Peter Pan and Milah. His father and ex-wife.
But he remembered. When he had come home early that day to tell Milah he had been called to the Ogres War. She was nervous. Probably scared. She had heard stories and he could see it in his eyes that she didn't want him to go. But he had told her it was his chance to escape the shadow of his father. To prove he wasn't a coward. She was proud.
Than he had come home as such. A coward. And she was angry. But she continued to try. She even suggested that they leave. Somewhere where no one had heard of him and the three of them could start all over. She tried. But in his mind, she never did. Perhaps she had loved him once, but in his mind she never did. She never admitted that she was the coward for leaving with telling either of them goodbye. She never cared.
And his father didn't care. Gold wouldn't remember the good times they had. Because they couldn't have been real. His father smiling at him and always making sure that he was fed and safe. But in Neverland, he still made him breakfast. Peter asked if he still liked the yolk running. His favorite breakfast. He suggested he go back to Belle. To start a new life with her. But he never cared. He never cared enough to tell the shadow to send him to the spinsters. Malcolm never cared to send him there to begin with. It would have been easier to leave him on the streets like a dog. That was all he thought his father saw of him. Begging with big eyes, not able to fend for itself.
He never cared. He only called himself Peter Pan to torment his once son. Rumple never saw the tears begin to fall when the shadow took him away. He never cared. Milah never cared.
But they did. Even a little. Perhaps that little thought was enough.
Gold wished they never cared. It was easier that way.
I always think of this when I watch either one. It's always the small things I catch. Although they are small, there are signs that both of them did care. Even a little. I felt this fic was a little important. Not excusing either one by any means. But I feel like it's important to understand this. Sometimes, even a little matters.