Queen Nissara
It often comes as a surprise that I get as bored as I do, but this labyrinth of a mind that I find myself residing in has become incredibly dull; even despite the questions that constantly arise in my thoughts. Often at night while Yugi sleeps I wander aimlessly within the ever-changing maze of my soul's room. There is so little that I know, so much that I want to know. Most vexing of all is that each answered question raises a thousand more questions. Worse yet, it seems that I cannot discover these answers on mine and Yugi's own time. What with one crisis following another from Duelist Kingdom combined with Yugi's time at school.
Perhaps that's all my past is, one giant question. I suppose I sound like the king I once was when I say that I tire of questions.
Equally surprising is how lonely I feel, trapped in here, having to rely on my kind host for interaction with the overwhelming outside world. Yugi has been so kind to me, where I feel like he has gotten into more trouble on my account than his friend Joey gets into brawls after school. Yugi and his friends consider me one of them. And I, literally taking a backseat in Yugi's body most of the time, still feel like I'm in want of something. If only I had an idea as to what that was.
I was gazing wistfully at the hieroglyphs on the walls of my mind one night. The ancient Egyptian was slowly beginning to make sense to me. Nevertheless, I quickly grew bored. Thanks to Yugi and Ishizu I've had some chances to re-familiarize myself with my ancient culture, usually by looking over Yugi's shoulder while he thumbs through library books or browses the internet, talking away at me with excitement in his bright, youthful eyes.
I got up off my stony bench and began to aimlessly walk up a flight of stairs. My mind twists and turns in ways that defy natural physics, and soon I found myself walking upside down. Mindlessly I opened the first iron wrought door I came to and then found myself right side up again. I scanned the room around me with its random doors and stairways to and from nowhere. Then, a door I had never seen before caught my eye. Often times I will stumble upon doors that contain vague memories of my ancient past as King of Egypt, but those doors are normally no different looking from any other door.
But this door, this door was gold; or least gold plated. And on it was an engraving of the Millennium crest, the same eye-like shape on all the other Millennium Items. It sat at the top of a flight of stairs; curiosity took control of me as I walked up those stairs and pushed against that beckoning door. It was cool to the touch, but inviting. It gave rather easily and with a slight puff of dust it opened wide to something I never expected to find.
A bedroom; my initial thought was "why hadn't I found this room sooner?" I entered and took in all of the details of it. There sat a massive four-poster bed that took up the entire rear end of the room, covered with white linen sheets and a canopy draped over the top. I found the finery to be exquisite and yet simultaneously modest. A brass mirror sat in one corner opposite the bed while a chaise lounge sat facing a wide opening out onto a balcony. This stunned me to say the least; what would I see if I looked out over its edge? I indulged myself and stepped onto the stone terrace and saw….more stairs twisting and turning within the confusing maze of my subconscious. I suppose I should have seen that coming.
Returning into the bedroom, it dawned on me that this was a room fit for a king; with a dressing table covered with gold jewelry and sumptuous cushions littering the bed and chaise. Of course this was all nice, but what did it mean? What was a king-like bedroom doing here in my labyrinthine mind? I sighed. Yugi was peacefully asleep on his side of our ego, and indeed I was beginning to feel sleepy myself.
I sat on the edge of the bed and I laid my head back, shutting my eyes for a moment.
"Atem." I heard the faintest of whispers; my eyes snapped open and I jolted upright. Nothing in the room had changed, but something seemed different. Then the wall opposite the bed caught my eye; hieroglyphs that I swear had not been there when I entered the room stared back at me. I stood and began to decipher them; perhaps there was a clue here, somewhere.
I managed to pick out some things about a king, presumably myself back when I was Pharaoh. There was something about how the king had to find a wife, but couldn't find one amongst the women presented to him. Does this mean I was married? Did I have a wife? I backed away from the wall and then noticed one of the larger carvings.
It depicted a life-sized woman, carved into the wall and painted with the utmost care. She had fair skin and green eyes, with short hair the color of spun gold. I supposed she was attractive, for a carving on a wall. She seemed to look back at me with a lonely wistfulness as she danced across the wall. I became entranced by her gaze. So much that I suddenly felt compelled to find out who she was.
I scoured the wall for a clue, a name, anything. Finally, I came upon a cartouche, one that wasn't chipped away like most of the other similar shapes I often come across. I bent to my knees on the floor and looked at this cartouche, this name.
"Queen Nissara." I read aloud.
As if it were a magic word, the figure of the woman began to move. I stepped back in awe as she leaped off the wall and passed through me like a spirit, so fast that I was unable to see her face. I turned to grab her but found myself no longer in that bedroom but instead floating hundreds of feet above a quaint little town nestled in the desert sand.
Not even remotely surprised I uttered to myself, "Here we go again."
I've become quite the frequent flyer if I do say so myself. I willed myself to descend upon the town, unseen by its inhabitants. If I were visible I'd have stuck out like a sore thumb. Yugi's school uniform was a stark contrast to the simple rag-like garb of these people. I touched down, knowing full well that I'd see a scene played out from my ancient past. I wasn't overly excited, because it would lead only to more questions. Regardless I walked onward, passing fishmongers and other peddlers on the market street. I figured I'd be seeing a shadow game in progress, that's usually what I see in these memories.
But I saw nothing. Instead, I heard the hoof beats of horses behind me, and a voice sounding remarkably like my own call out "You're quite the rider!" Stunned, I turned. Riding towards me at a break neck pace on a white mare was a woman wearing a white linen cloak; her head was covered by a drawn hood and a shawl concealed her face.
Following her on a lean brown steed, purple cloak billowing behind him, was myself as Pharaoh. This version of me was tanned and muscular, and he wore a golden crown that would have broken a lesser man's neck. Astonished, I felt myself flying again as he passed. I followed alongside him on his magnificent stallion. Truly, he was bedecked in all the finery of a king, and wearing a mile wide grin he pushed his mount onward. "Wait up!" He called to her.
The cloaked woman abruptly reined her horse to a stop and threw her head back in a sultry laugh, despite that all I could see of her was a pair of strikingly green eyes. "You did this to yourself Pharaoh! Giving me your best horse was your first mistake."
The king rode up to meet her at a canter; I could hear the animal's heavy breathing. He coaxed him by patting his neck, "Hapi may be my prize racer, but Horus was my father's favorite." He looked into the woman's smiling, intelligent eyes, "And what, pray tell me, was my second mistake?" He rode up to where his horse was facing opposite of hers, with him sitting beside her. I situated myself between them both and I could see the Pharaoh grinning at her like an idiot.
I thought to myself that this king, this me, was a rather playful one. Aside from being the King of Egypt, apparently I was a flirt as well as a fine horseman. Looking over at the woman, I could see only her viridian eyes. They were thoughtful, playful, lonely, so many emotions in one simple gaze would have knocked a lesser man off his feet, or in my former self's case, horse. I saw the King reach for the shawl concealing her face, making to remove it. But she grabbed his (my) hand and held it steadily. Clearly she had no intention of allowing the Pharaoh to see her.
The woman gave the Pharaoh-me his hand back. "Your second mistake was challenging me to a race." In a flash she and her horse were off again. Looking into Pharaoh-me's face I saw his eyes widen in bewilderment. Then another grin crept across his face, and his eyes narrowed. He muttered, "She's making this chase very difficult." Snapping the reins he urged his horse into a full gallop and whispered to it "Show us both just why you were father's favorite."
Seeming to understand, the horse picked up speed and caught up to the woman on her mare. All the while I flew beside them as they rode. "You were saying?" the King said to her. The woman snapped her reins and veered far off towards a temple like building, beyond which the River Nile was flowing. The Pharaoh followed and quickly overtook her, calling behind him "Up there is the temple of Isis, we can stay there while the horses rest!"
She replied, "Race you there!" Again she picked up speed and flew past him. To my moderate surprise I could sense my past-self's forfeit. I heard him sigh and mutter, "I'll get you yet." Looking at him it dawned on me that he (I) must have been enraptured by this woman.
I felt envy for him. Ever since Yugi solved the Millennium Puzzle and brought me into his world, I have not once felt any inclination towards pursuing a woman, despite that I've been surrounded by women; one of whom I can tell desperately wants to be my woman. But Tèa could never fill that void for me. Besides, Yugi has confided in me that he has wanted her since they met. I could never do such a thing to him; that would be no way to repay him for all he's done for me.
By the time The Pharaoh and I approached the temple the mystery woman had already given her horse to another woman, presumably the High Priestess of Isis, and was heading up the stairs. She looked down at both of us, "You let me win that time."
The Pharaoh rode up to the temple's high priestess. She bowed in homage to him, "What can we do for you, Pharaoh?"
He (I) replied, "I wish to rest my horses for a time here. My companion and I will take a stroll by the river." He looked up at the woman on the steps, "Is that all right with you?"
I flew up the steps to stand beside her, so as to see the Pharaoh from her point of view. The look in his eyes was the same look that Joey would often give Mai Valentine whenever they were in the same vicinity. I turned to look at the woman, who now looked at the ground meekly with her hands clasped in front of her. I was taken aback. What happened to that playful, confident woman I saw riding that horse? She replied to Pharaoh-me, "Whatever you wish, my Pharaoh."
After seeing that the horses were tied up in the stables and given fresh food and water, the Pharaoh walked up the steps and met us there (of course I wasn't really there, or maybe I was? Now I'm just confusing myself…). The Pharaoh put his hand to her back and gently ushered the woman into the coolness of the temple. The shadows on the ground showed that the sun was beginning it's descent into the west; I followed the couple inside.
Ignoring my former-self and his companion, I took in the surrounding temple. It was incredible to say the least. Prayers to Isis were written on the walls, with hieroglyphs portraying the legend of Isis and Osiris. A large statue made of onyx stood against the wall to my left, with light shining directly on it from a skylight. I went to it and saw that it was Isis herself, surrounded by offerings of food and flowers. I pulled my attention away from the Mother Goddess and looked for the Pharaoh. A doorway at the other end of the building opened up to a set of stone steps that stopped at the Nile's edge. The two sat on the lowest steps and appeared to be enjoying the scenery.
I descended upon them; the Pharaoh was swishing a stick in the water while the woman stared out into the distance. I went to stand a few feet behind them, close enough to hear anything they had to say. Pharaoh-me broke the ice, and I could hear the awkwardness in his voice. I was shocked at the thought that I could ever be bashful.
He spoke with uncertainty, "It's been a good flood this year. I'm confident that the harvest will be bountiful."
"Indeed, Pharaoh," the woman sighed.
I know, quite the icebreaker. Yugi, shy as he is, could do better than that.
I moved to where I could get a better view of the show. I could tell exactly what the Pharaoh-me was doing and I felt myself wanting to see this. I was then sitting directly in front of them, arms crossed, literally floating above the Nile. The look on the King's face was actually funny to me, reminiscent of Yugi in a strange way. After mulling over what to say next he looked back at the water and asked, "How long have you been working at the Palace?"
The woman was visibly trying to relax. Exhaling she said, "I've worked as a slave-"
The Pharaoh interrupted, "I don't like that word," he looked at her poignantly. "I prefer the term servant."
She looked at the Pharaoh with wide eyes and said flatly, "You disapprove of slavery? Then why must you allow it in your kingdom?" I chuckled, this woman was clearly intelligent, and bold despite her shy exterior. "I'll have you know I wasn't born a slave," she continued. "I chose to work at the palace of my own will for the last two harvests."
The Pharaoh appeared taken aback at her previous comment, chastised even. "Then how come I'd never seen you until three days ago?"
The woman scoffed bitterly, "Probably because I was screaming for help and you happened to be in the right place at the right time so as to stop those foolish brutes from raping me." She sighed and looked at the Pharaoh, "Did I ever properly thank you for saving me?"
The Pharaoh-me looked back at her and smiled slightly, "There's no need to thank me. I did what any honorable man would have done."
She replied, "What has become of them?"
Pharaoh-me mock-chuckled, "I dealt with those men in an appropriate manner. They are now in the bellies of some Nile crocodiles; to think I allowed them to work in my palace as guards." Then he sighed, "You don't suppose that was too harsh was it?"
The slave woman picked up a pebble and threw it into the water. "I'd say it was fitting, if not somewhat cruel." There was a hint of uncertainty in her voice, "But who am I to say? What's one slave-girl's virtue to you?" Slumping her shoulders and hanging her head, she crossed her arms and returned to gazing out onto the river.
Again, Pharaoh-me was taken aback by her statement. "I couldn't just stand by and allow that to happen. What kind of Pharaoh would I be?" He snapped the stick he was holding in half over his knee. "Their end was no crueler than what they would have done to you," he also took a small pebble and skipped it over the water's surface. "And I thought I made it clear that I didn't like the word "slave"."
The woman chuckled, "Understood Pharaoh."
It seemed that I must have been pretty merciless towards the unjust in my reign, as well as an apparent ladies man who disapproved of slavery. Saving a woman from rape and possible murder; that's almost cliché. Regardless I listened intently to their conversation.
The Pharaoh clasped his hands around his legs, distantly staring across the river. "But before then, I never once saw you. Unless you didn't always cover your face with that shawl; I'll admit that shawl kind of sets you apart from the rest of the palace servants."
"I prefer to have a sense of anonymity," she replied.
It was clear that the Pharaoh was unable to take his eyes off of her. From looking at him he was filled to the brim with curiosity about this enigma of a woman, "But why? Why hide your identity when you just said you were a slave-girl and therefore didn't matter?"
Simply she said, "You wouldn't understand Pharaoh."
He grinned in a way that Joey would have, "Try me." At this I knew I hadn't changed much in five thousand years. I have and always will love a challenge.
The woman stood. Sternly she said, "Pharaoh, with all due respect, my reasons for hiding who and what I am are my own." She turned and walked briskly up the stairs. "Good day," she scoffed.
Reflexively, Pharaoh-me got up and followed her. "For the last three days I have tried to get to know you." He grabbed her shoulder, "I have become enraptured by you and I don't even know your name." He pulled her down to the step he stood upon; I heard her gasp at his touch.
She turned to him and looked the King dead in the eyes, "It's for the best that you don't." Then she turned her back on him and walked up the steps. I stood beside the Pharaoh-me and could see the frustration on his face.
He ran up and grabbed her by the shoulders and gently turned her to face him, "You are not what you appear to be, this much I know." He tried to soothe her, to coax her. He looked into her eyes and I saw his hand reach up underneath her shawl so as to touch her face.
She shied away from his touch, "Pharaoh, I'm not worthy of you. Please…" She averted her face and looked at the ground, as if she longed for an escape.
Again he interrupted, this time sounding like a true king. "I will be the judge of who is and isn't worthy of me." Sternly he turned her head to face him and glared straight into her eyes, and then he bent down picked her up in both arms.
She struggled, "My king, please!" She giggled slightly, "Put me down!" She kicked vigorously and thrashed her arms, trying to escape my former self's hold on her. "How dare you!"
Pharaoh-me hushed her, "Relax! I'm not going to hurt you." It appeared to work; she stopped struggling and crossed her arms.
I saw the Pharaoh grin as he walked down to the shore of the Nile, carrying this woman in his arms. I could feel myself smiling; I wanted him to get this woman. I wanted him to fall for her, because I knew that I wanted her as well, despite not having seen her face. I floated to where I stood a few feet away from them, still floating above the Nile. The Pharaoh-me set her down in the soft dry sand, "Show me your face." He pleaded.
She sighed in a flustered huff, "No."
He said soothingly, "C'mon. Just to me. No one else is around." He smiled kindly, "Please?"
"I said no!" She looked like she was about to slap him, however her better judgment kept her under control.
Pharaoh-me crossed his arms and cocked an eyebrow. "Disobeying the Pharaoh is considered treason." He wore a grin that showed he knew he'd won.
She crossed her arms in mimicry, "That doesn't mean I can't refuse." She turned a one-eighty and walked back towards the temple steps; a breeze kicked up and whipped her skirt around her. Catching a sight of her ankles I could see that she had very pale skin compared to most people from this part of the world.
But the Pharaoh-me still didn't give up. He chased after her and grabbed her by the hand; with that action she stopped dead. I moved to follow and I heard him say, "At least tell me your name."
She sighed, frustrated. "My name is Nissara. Are you happy now?" She looked at him pleadingly, but did not jerk her hand away from his. In fact she seemed to finally relax.
I heard him chuckle triumphantly, "No. I won't be until you take that blasted shawl off and let me see you."
Nissara; so that was her name then? Where did I hear that before? I floated beside the Pharaoh-me and looked intently into Nissara's eyes. They shone brightly in the diminishing sunlight. She shut them and then opened them again, looking at the ground. "I will allow you to see my face then. But you have to take the shawl off for me." I saw her eyes shine with tears, and somehow I sensed her fear. "I hope you will not be repulsed by what you see."
At this point I felt myself floating away. They were silhouettes by the time the Pharaoh at last removed her coverings, and I thought I saw him fall to his knees. I blinked in frustration.
But when I opened my eyes again I saw an entirely different scene.
I stood in a grand hall, a throne room; my throne room. The Pharaoh stood in front of the steps before his own seat of power, looking out into a mass of people gathered there. Behind him stood six other people, their faces covered in shadows; yet I saw that each of them wore a Millennium item. I hadn't noticed it before, but the Pharaoh-me wore the very puzzle that Yugi and I now share. I grabbed the item around my neck and held it against my chest for a moment, reminding myself that I was only a witness to my own memories. Memories that I had forgotten I had…
I saw one of the men behind the Pharaoh-me move up onto a raised altar, so that he stood above the Pharaoh, his face was still shadowed but I got a sense of familiarity from him; I took note of the fact that he held the Millennium Rod. I then moved to where I was standing beside my former self while he turned his back to the multitudes gathered with him. A silence fell across the room as an aisle formed within the mass of people, dividing them in halves on each side of the throne.
But then I saw her; the same woman that I saw on the wall in that bedroom. She seemed to float down that aisle in a white linen dress, with a transparent pale blue-green shawl dangling from bracelets on her upper arms. An equally pale blue-green sheer cape was attached to the back of her gown and dragging across the floor like the train of a wedding dress. She bared her shoulders for the entire world to see and wore a necklace similar in appearance to Ishizu's Millennium item, except for a shining emerald in the center of the eye. On her brow was a gem encrusted circlet that also bore an emerald approximately the size of an eyeball.
She was by far the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on. Tèa and Mai Valentine together couldn't have held a candle up to her. And yet, the Pharaoh kept his back to her.
"So this was my wedding." I said aloud to myself. This had to be what it was; all eyes were on that woman, presumably my bride; even I know that weddings are all about the bride. And this woman was indeed the most beautiful bride the whole world over, as well as the most beautiful woman to ever live. I watched her as she walked the full length of the aisle and met the King at the altar. At that moment he turned and I saw his mouth open agape in a look of utter astonishment as he beheld her. She smiled, and her green eyes shone as she said, "My Pharaoh."
"Nissara," he breathed. He took her hand and stared directly into her eyes. Not once taking his eyes off of her while the man on the altar, the beholder of the Millennium Rod, married them.
I should have seen this coming, nevertheless I was stunned. The slave woman who covered her face and preferred anonymity became my queen? That was the name on the wall! I was reeling from it, the very idea. But at the same time, I felt my heart beating in my chest. It must have been the same feeling that the Pharaoh-me felt as he stood there, taking a wife that he clearly loved.
I didn't hear a word that the High Priest said while he married them. I was looking at Nissara, my wife. I drank in every detail of her; her green eyes, chin length golden hair, fair skin. She was a slim woman, however buxom. For the first time since I could remember I felt that lurch in my loins as I imagined making love to her. I welcomed that feeling as if it were an old friend.
I heard the High Priest, who had a voice I swear I'd heard before; make a final blessing, then pronounced the King and Nissara husband and wife. The Pharaoh-me took her by the arm and led her to a balcony where he showed his wife to the mass of peasants below them. Nissara looked at the ground and blushed for a moment, then lifted her head up for all to see. She smiled brilliantly and waved to her subjects while the Pharaoh-me held her other hand. Squeezing her hand he said reassuringly, "See, they already love you."
The multitude of peasants below where roaring. I felt my ears ringing and I wasn't even technically there. "Kiss her! Kiss her!" they shouted. The King turned to his wife and grinned, "Who am I to deny my subjects?"
Nissara, my wife, (I have to get used to the idea) smiled. "You'd be a terrible ruler and a cruel husband."
I saw him smile a genuinely loving smile; to think that I could ever feel that way for anyone. Then he cupped one of her cheeks in his hand and used the other to pull her into him. He planted a kiss on her that was like something out of a movie Tèa dragged me into seeing once. Nissara threw her arms over his (my) shoulders and ran one of her hands through Pharaoh-me's hair.
The crowd went wild, to say the least. I could feel myself smiling, with my heart pounding in my chest and a lustfulness that I only wish I could have acted upon. I shut my eyes and then found myself in that bedroom again.
But this time, I wasn't alone.
This time, Nissara and the Pharaoh stood on the balcony, gazing out into the night sky. I walked onto the balcony to stand beside them, and at last I saw the land that I ruled under a full moon and a starry night. There were fires lit all about the town celebrating my marriage; like any other man I knew that the Pharaoh had another method of celebration on his mind. I could sense it. Indeed, I wanted to experience it myself.
"So," he spoke, "Queen Nissara, eh?" He looked at her rather adoringly. I think I was looking at her with that same look in my eyes.
Nissara giggled, "I'll have to get used to that." She stretched her arms out a little and then leaned over the balcony, looking out onto the desert town. "But why me?"
He smiled, "Why not?" He leaned down beside her and put his hand over hers. "You have a right to love, just as much as any woman, be they a peasant or a princess." He sighed and looked upon his kingdom, "And I have a right to love any woman, be they a peasant, a princess, or Isis herself." He looked at Nissara and grinned like an idiot. Noting Nissara's reaction she just scoffed and rolled her eyes.
"You're funny, darling." She said, and flicked a bracelet on his upper arm.
Pharaoh-me chuckled and kissed her brow, "And you are unkind to reject that kind of compliment."
I had to agree with him, as corny as this balcony scene was becoming. Yet I yearned to know more about Nissara. I'd have to get Yugi to do some research for me. I had to know everything there was to know about Queen Nissara, my wife. I looked at her and saw her blush. "I know." She looked into his face, "I just can't believe that you chose me. It seems all too good to be true."
The Pharaoh stood tall and smiled, "I promise that this is real, and I can prove it. I'll be right back." He walked into the room and moments later returned with something in his hand. Nissara stood with a question in her eyes. The Pharaoh said, "I want you to have this." He offered her a golden bracelet bearing the crest of the Millennium Eye on it. In the center of the eye was a shining green gem, and all along its chain were golden beads. "It was my mother's. It's meant for a queen."
Nissara held out her wrist as he put it on her. When he clasped it on she held up her wrist in the light of the nearby torch. "It's beautiful. I'll always treasure it." She turned and looked at the King again, who went in for another kiss. I wanted this woman so badly. I looked at the bracelet on her wrist and hoped, prayed even, that Nissara's spirit remained with that bracelet, and that she, like me, was sharing a body with her modern counterpart. I had to find her in Yugi's world, and I would not allow myself to rest until I did. I resolved at that moment that I would find Nissara at whatever cost.
The Pharaoh got his kiss, and then picked up his queen, my queen, and took her into the bedroom. And there I saw them make love. And I envied my former self every second of it. When they had finished I felt myself getting pulled away from that place. I knew the visions were over, and I felt a deep sadness come over me. I wanted to stay and see more of her. My Nissara.
I wanted to hold her myself, to kiss her, and make love to her. Most importantly, I wanted to simply remember her. All I had now where these three visions, incomplete memories; fragments. Without realizing it I found myself alone in that bedroom. I was back in my mind. Utterly alone.
I sat on the bed and stared at the wall painting of my wife. Really, it didn't do her justice. I fell asleep on the bed clutching a pillow.
"Pharaoh? Hey Pharaoh!" I felt myself being shaken awake. I opened my eyes and saw Yugi smiling brightly, "What have you been doing in here? I had a hell of a time finding you."
I sat up and looked at the painting on the wall; Nissara was gone, I felt my heart sink in disappointment. "Nothing, really."
I finally know what I am missing. And I will not rest until I get it back.