Disclaimer: They're not mine. Just borrowed them to play around with
Spoilers: This was at first based on the spoilers for Season 3, Episode 12 (Silent Night), but since that has aired now, this is what I think should have been the D/L we all missed so much in that episode.
AN: The start of this story is angsty, but I promise a (sort of) fluffy ending
This one night (this cold December night)
Chapter one
How could she have done that? Why did she tell Stella? Lindsay slowed down even more. Noticing the wooden bench next to the path she decided to sit down for a while, suddenly too tired to walk any further. The moment she sat down the memories of the last few hours, weeks, months filled her head again. She was such a fool; why did she lie to herself. "You're happy here Linds; you have a new life, new friends, what's in the past will stay in the past." The more she had said it, the more she had -almost- believed it.
But she should have known better. She should have known that the longer she kept her silence and did not tell her new colleagues and friends about the things she had left behind, the harder it would be to finally do so. And now she was lost. Her feelings for Danny had become so much more than she could ever have anticipated; so overwhelming that they almost consumed her. How could she ever look him straight in the eye and tell him? How could she explain why she had waited so long to open up to him? Would he ever understand? She was afraid of losing him if she didn't tell, but the fear of losing him if she did tell was just as great.
Shivering on the bench she pushed her hands deep into her pockets. Daylight was already fading and it seemed colder than the last few nights. Her constant worries had given her a growing feeling of home sickness over the last few weeks. And now that the holidays were near, all she could think about was going home. Running away from this cold grey city, back to the mountains where there was snow and fireplaces and family and old friends. People who knew her deepest fear and could understand why she was willing to give up a change of love.
She knew that her departure would hurt him so much, but he did not know that her pain would be equal to his. And he must never know. Because if he did, he would do anything to win her over and she would never be able to resist him. But it could never last; she would destroy him, destroy them. She didn't deserve happiness. Not now, maybe not ever.
A silent tear fell on her cheek. She knew what to do. There was only one thing she could do. She needed to be home, curl up in the warm embrace of those who loved her no matter what. Spend Christmas with them and with their help try to finally defeat those demons that still haunted her; demons she had to face, because running away had not been the answer. That was their only change. She owed him that.
Please R + R