Join Me In Death - Riku's Suicide
FlamingDranzer: Here we go, the suicidal-Riku-oneshot-songfic-thingy I always wanted to do. I always saw Riku as that type for some odd reason...maybe it's because I can relate to him in nearly everyway. Who knows? Meh...I hate using this song in this way, it's supposed to be a Romeo-Juliet thing, but everyone thinks its about suicide...it can be about both, unfortunately.
Lyrics/Song: Join Me - H.I.M. (His Infernal Majesty)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
/lyrics are here/
Riku's POV
Warnings: Suicide (my shortest warning list ever)
JOIN ME IN DEATH - RIKU'S SUICIDE
You know...it really is a scary thought when you're all alone and the worst happened to you...
/Baby join me in death
Baby join me in death
Baby join me in death/
Why? That's the only question that constantly runs through my mind constantly. Over and over, it just keeps on repeating. And it won't stop...not for anyone, not even Sora. Even when I'm with him, when we're not talking, that thought runs through my head. It's almost like that annoying song, except that annoying song is the only question you want to know an answer to.
Eventually, that's the only thing that matters. It's weird...you go through stages, almost. Hopelessness, depression, starving, self mutilation...
Suicide.
/We are so young
Our lives have just begun
But already we're considering
Escape from this world/
It's funny...I went through all of them in two years...how old was I? 15? Yeah...I was a year older than Sora and Kairi. We lived together on the Destiny Islands. We built a raft, trying to explore...it's funny. We wanted to go to different worlds, thinking it'd be all fun and games. But we were wrong...I was absorbed by the darkness...it attracted me, promised me I could go to other worlds.
God, that was my biggest mistake. I even fought Sora at one point...I didn't even care if he died or not. But with everything that's happened lately, it makes me realize what a selfish bitch I am.
I mean, I did help Sora earlier...I even changed my appearance to that of Xehanort's Heartless in order to help him. But still, I was selfish. I asked Ansem the Wise and King Mickey himself not to tell Sora of what I've become. Maybe that's another mistake.
I even had to fight him in the Land of Dragons. I didn't want to...he thought I was one of them, part of the Organization XIII. So he started a fight. Maybe I should've tried to make him believe it was really me. But then again, I doubt he'd believe me anyway.
/And we've waited for so long
For this moment to come
Was so anxious to be together
Together in death/
So we fought, I lost. In the World That Never Was, I just had to meet Kairi. She was the one that pulled down my hood, and showed what I became to the world. Sora was even confused...he thought he killed Xehanort's Heartless. I know he didn't believe it was me...it took Kairi to make him see.
"I didn't want to be found."
At least it's over now...Xenmas is defeated, we're back home...home...that's a place I wasn't to in two whole years. Nothing's changed...the beach is the same, the sound of the waves is just as soothing as it always was. Man, I really missed that sea breeze... I really missed the Paopu tree. When two people share a paopu, their destinies are intertwined.
Too bad mine was such a cruel one.
/Won't you die tonight for love
(baby join me in death)
Won't you die
(baby join me in death)
Won't you die tonight for love
(baby join me in death)
Join me in death/
Heh, that's where I am now. The same old Paopu tree. It's weird...last time I leaned against its bark was over a year ago. This is where the whole Kingdom Hearts ordeal began, and this where I'll meet my end.
I begin to finger the blade, cautiously, I'm almost...scared. That's weird. I've hardly felt this way before, but now, of all times? No, I will not let myself be a coward.
I begin to scribble a short poem on a piece of paper that I had folded up in my pocket.
"Sora; Kairi
I'm sorry for all the pain I caused
But now, have no fear
I will cause no more
This is where it began
This is where it'll end
Don't mourn; don't cry
I was never worth it anyway
The one, and only, Riku"
I set the piece of paper under a rock; I'm certain that the rock will be able to hold it until they find me.
/This world is a cruel place
And we're here only to lose
So before live tears us apart let
Death bless me with you/
I look up at the stars and that full moon. I miss you Sora...when you're not here, I just want to cry. I want to claim your lips, I want to be more than your friend. I want to be your lover. But I know that'll never happen. You're with Kairi now. You were ever since we got back. And me...well, I've got no one.
But it doesn't matter, not anymore. I feel tears begin to flow to my eyes...should I cry or not? Let it out, might as well. It's not like I'll live until tomorrow anyway. Heh...tomorrow. What a lie...it never does come, does it? It always slips from your grasp, as soon as you almost have it.
It's almost...like hope.
/Won't you die tonight for love
(baby join me in death)
Won't you die
(baby join me in death)
Won't you die tonight for love
(baby join me in death)
Join me in death/
I sit down, back resting against the Paopu tree. The moonlight is shining itself upon me...is it trying to confort me? Too late for that. It's way too late for that. Now...the only thing left is death. To me, what's comfort is pain and what's pain is comfort. Reminds me of a song I heard way back...someone at school was playing it. What was it called now? Beyond Redemption...I'm pretty sure that's it. Hey, it's just like me...
I'm beyond redemption.
/This live ain't worth living
This live ain't worth living
This live ain't worth living
This live ain't worth living/
No more hesitation. I've reflected on myself enough. If I keep reflecting like this, I'll never accomplish it. I'm not second-guessing myself now. This is what I want. I want death. I want to die.
I grab the knife, revealing it from its location in my pocket. Its blade is sharp, shining in the moonlight. I press it to my wrist - 3 slashes on each, each slash deeper than the next. As if there isn't enough blood pouring out already, I slash the blade against my neck, completely tearing away the skin. And as that skin tears away, blood pours out to take its place. And as blood pours out, more is determined to take the other blood's place. So the blood's just pushing itself out.
Wow...I feel dizzy. Hey, I never knew your life really does flash before your eyes...
/Won't you die tonight for love
(baby join me in death)
Won't you die
(baby join me in death)
Won't you die tonight for love
(baby join me in death)/
"The door has opened, Sora! Now we can go to the outside world!"
"Open the door, lead me into everlasting Darkness!"
"I get to share the papou fruit with Kairi. Deal? The winner gets to share a papou with Kairi."
"I didn't want you to find me."
"Come on, Sora. You've got to pull it together."
"If the world is made of light and darkness... We'll be the darkness."
"To tell you the truth, Sora. I was jealous of you."
"What for?"
"I wished I could live life the way you do. Just following my heart."
"Yeah, well, I've got my share of problems, too."
"Like what?"
"Like wanting to be like you."
"Well there is one advantage to being me… Something you could never imitate."
"Really? What's that?"
"Having you for a friend."
"Then I guess…I'm okay the way I am. I've got something you could never imitate too."
"Once we go through there's no turning back. It's victory…or oblivion. So Sora, are you ready?"
/Baby join me in death/
"Riku!" That's Sora's voice. But it's too late...
I chose oblivion.