Of broken hearts and noses
FBI Special Agent Marcus Pike.
It was like venom filled his mouth when he just thought about this stupid FBI monkey who had been wooing Lisbon's pants off for weeks. And to his immense anger it seemed like the jerk at actually succeeded because tonight she was going out with him. He hadn't really believed it when Fisher had mumbled something like that into his direction because she'd been trying to make him admit his feelings for a certain brunette ever since they'd started working together.
But one look at Pike had confirmed that Fisher wasn't playing him.
Lisbon had actually agreed to go out with the idiot.
And here he'd thought Lisbon had understood that it was just a matter of a time, and he might say little time, until he gathered up the courage to start the relationship they both had wanted for years.
Well, it seemed like even patient Teresa Lisbon had her limits and had finally got tired of waiting.
And crap, he really didn't know what to do about it. A few weeks ago, when he had acted like he was interested in this blonde gang leader whose name he couldn't even remember, his plan was to practice a little, because if he was honest, he was a little out of the game when it came to dating. And because Lisbon had been aware that he wasn't really interested in the blonde, he'd thought she had at least suspected what he'd been doing.
Well, apparently, she hadn't. Apparently she thought their relationship would never be anything more than this. Be anything else than platonic.
Obviously, Lisbon really didn't have a clue what exactly she meant to him.
What was he supposed to do? Tell her that they were supposed to be together and that she just had to wait a little longer until he was finally able to take off his wedding ring? He was a selfish bastard but he wasn't a monster. After all he had done to her she'd always had his back and the least he could do was let her be happy, even if it killed him to see another man being the reason for her happiness.
But Marcus Pike, really? Alright, the guy was nice and he kept trying really hard, but he wasn't even pleasing to look at. Why the hell would Lisbon say yes to someone like him?
He had noticed a lot of changes in Lisbon since he was back. How she'd changed her look, seeming much more feminine and lovely. She smiled more often, dressed more womanly and sexy and god, she was fun to be around and he really couldn't blame Pike for wooing her. With those changes came another one: it was much more difficult for him to read her. He didn't know if it was because he wasn't that awesome anymore or because her feelings for him had changed. Jane really hoped the latter wasn't the cause, but if it was, had he even still a chance?
God, he was pathetic. He was in love with Lisbon, had been for years if he was honest and he thought once he was back they would slowly glide into the more physical, romantic relationship. Because even if he'd killed Red John and was a free man now, he had always loved Angela and Charlotte and they were a part of his life and how should he get rid of them, of the ring that still tied him to them? Nevertheless, he knew he had to if he wanted to be with Lisbon. Because she wouldn't want to have only the part of his which wasn't already taken by his dead family. She'd want all of him and right now he wasn't exactly completely sure he could give her that.
And if this was the way things were, how could he even think about breaking her and Pike up?
"Okay, Jane, tell me what's going on with you? You've been looking like you want to strangle someone for hours now." Fisher had slumped down next to him and watched him curiously.
He forced his characteristic smile on his face, carefree and innocent. "I don't know what you're talking about, Kim. I'm great."
She sighed, shifting her gaze next to his head, obviously avoiding his eyes. "Look, I know we haven't been exactly friends and I know you don't trust me and believe me, you made it more than clear that this is my fault, but even if you're a pain in the ass, especially mine and Abbott's, you're a part of this team now. The FBI isn't exactly warm and lovely, but I want you to know if something's bothering you, you can tell me. Or Lisbon. You've a much better chemistry with her. Have you talked to her?"
Another clue he wasn't as good as he'd once been: his mask wasn't in place fast enough. Fisher saw how his face clouded over, how something dark and painful crossed his face when she mentioned Lisbon.
"So this is about her. If I need to guess: her upcoming relationship with Agent Pike."
Jane gritted his teeth. So this damn nerve-wrecking woman had caught him. So denying everything and making her feel stupid for even thinking something like that wasn't an option right now. Slowly, taking a breath in, he tried to calm his heart.
"Kim, I'd really appreciate it if you'd stop trying to interfere with my life." He tried to be as polite as possible.
"Patrick," she said her tone a little taunting, "you do know that office intern relationship aren't allowed and I can't imagine you'd want Lisbon to be transferred after all you did to make her work here with you, but…" She looked around, obviously nervous, and Jane figured what she was about to say wasn't something she said as Agent Kim Fisher.
"If you only feel a part of that I'm imagining you do for her, you should talk to her. I don't know what happened between the two of you but I am a woman and I understand what she's doing. I don't believe she dresses like that for Agent Pike."
He knew what she was saying. She'd obviously seen pictures of them from two years ago and longer when Lisbon had still looked a bit like a tomboy.
"Don't you think she deserves a little happiness after all that's happened?", Jane asked softly before he could stop himself.
"Yeah, I do, but I don't think Marcus Pike is the one she wants this happiness with. Well, it really isn't my place but I think you should just talk to her." With that she stood up, smiling one last time and left him alone with his thoughts.
Even if he was still a little angry for what she'd done to him, lurking him back to America under false pretense and not to mention what this whole episode had done to his pride, simply tricking him like that, he recognized her effort.
Kim Fisher tried really hard to make him see how sorry she was for playing him. Even though he would continue make hers and Abbott's work lives a living hell, he'd stop telling her off. Because if he was honest it was more his hurt pride than anything else. She'd only done her job after all.
But this didn't help him with his problem concerning Lisbon. Fisher was right. He had just lurked Lisbon to Texas, he couldn't be the reason she'd to go somewhere else again.
If Fisher was right and Lisbon really would prefer being with him and just agreed to go out with Pike because she honestly didn't know that he was indeed planning on getting their happily ever after started, he had to show her that for him they were still on.
Getting up from the couch he quickly noticed Lisbon in the kitchenette, fixing her coffee. And to his immense anger, Pike was right there handing her a cup.
Without thinking, really, he went up to them and while Lisbon stood with her back to him and didn't see him coming, he closed the gap between them, his left hand resting on her waist as he stretched up to get a glass from above Lisbon's head.
"Geez, Jane," she said a little startled, "don't creep up on someone like that." But to his relief, she didn't shove him away but stayed right there were she was, trapped between him and the kitchen counter.
Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Pike looking plenty perplexed, so he pulled her little closer, curling his fingers around her hipbone.
"I'm sorry, didn't mean to startle you."
Pike clearing his throat took her attention away.
"Uh, Teresa, I gotta go back," he said, rubbing his neck a little uncomfortable.
She smiled at him and Jane felt like someone had punched him in the guts. "Yeah, Marcus, see you tonight."
At that he smiled back before leaving the room.
Right, obviously he needed to act a little bolder and sooner, because their date was tonight.
"Uh, Jane?", Lisbon mumbled because she was still trapped between him and the counter.
"You can't go out with him, Lisbon," he blurted out, instantly closing his eyes. Smooth, Jane, real smooth.
She looked taken aback, a little amusement lingering at the corner of her mouth. God, how badly he wanted to kiss that half smirk right off her mouth.
"What? Why not, Jane? He isn 't one of Red John's members or something, is he?"
He looked angry at her. "That's not even a tiny bit funny, Lisbon."
She rolled her eyes, putting her hand against his chest and pushed so she was finally free to move again.
"Alright, look, Jane, whatever's got your panties in knots, I can assure you it's fine. Marcus is a nice, decent guy and he hasn't tried anything on those last two dates we had so I think it's safe to say that he-"
Jane didn't even hear what she was telling him because she had said they had already had two dates and even though it was a long time ago that he had been in the dating pool, he still knew what third date usually meant and he wasn't about to let Pike get what was supposed to be his.
Grabbing her upper arms, he looked at her with all the seriousness he could muster up. "Alright, I really wanted to do this smooth, you know. Gently woo you into this and do everything you have always deserved, but you obviously don't give me another choice, so here we go."
And because he really didn't know how to do this different, he pulled her closer and pressed his lips against hers.
The kiss was everything a first kiss was not supposed to be: awkward, hard and filled with desperation on his part. Lisbon didn't really react at the beginning, just pushed him away when her brain had caught up with her.
"Jane," she admonished, her tone filled with warning.
He felt like he was going to be sick when he realized she was rejecting him. Well, really, what had he been thinking? When she had already been on two dates with Pike and today was supposed to be the third one, she had to like him, right?
Oh god, he had waited too long, had kept her waiting too long.
She took his hand and pulled him effective out of his thoughts. "Jane, what's wrong with you?"
And because he already felt sick and tired and had his heart broken, he mumbled: "Nothing, Lisbon. Have a nice date with Agent Pike", before pulling his hand free and fleeing the room.
He sat in front of Lisbon's apartment door and waited. Surely she wouldn't want Pike to ravish her for the first time in his apartment and so he supposed she would ask him upstairs when he brought her to her door.
God, there was this sickening feeling again.
Suddenly, he heard the door open and after listening carefully, he decided there was only one pair of steps. So she hadn't invited Pike in.
Deciding quickly, that maybe it was better if she didn't see him here, he jumped to his feet and climbed the few next steps to the next floor.
He saw how Lisbon arrived at her front door. She looked pretty, a short black dress, high heels and her hair all curly and her body creamy. God, he really wanted to touch that skin, let his lips nip at it.
She opened her door and quickly stepped inside before locking. Good for her, at least she was careful.
Jane decided it was safe for him to leave her building and go home himself. Quickly climbing down the staircase, he left the house, walking to his car and getting punched in the back.
What the hell?
Turning around, he noticed an angry Marcus Pike in front of him. His legs were spread, like he was ready to fight.
"Pike, what the hell?", Jane asked angrily, rubbing his arm.
"Yeah, I could ask you the same thing. Why are you visiting my girlfriend at night?"
Jane knew he needed to be careful now if he didn't want Pike to break his face because the guy seemed pretty pissed.
"She's my partner and friend. I can visit her whenever I want," he answered irritated," and just for your information, she's not your girlfriend."
Well, that obviously wasn't the right thing to say because Pike suddenly punched him right into the face.
"You bet she is, asshole. Stay away from her or I'll hurt you," he growled, before glaring one last time and leaving for his car.
Jane, too shocked to react because his nose was hurting like hell and bleeding pretty much and damn, this jerk of an FBI monkey had just broken his nose.
And because he didn't really know what else to do because he couldn't really drive home in this state, he turned around and walked up the way to Lisbon's building again.
Teresa Lisbon had just removed her shoes and turned the light on in every room, when there was a knock on her door. Probably Marcus who had forgotten something or wanted to say good night again.
He was sweet like that. Marcus was nice and he cared and did everything to make her feel special. He didn't push her or tried to force down her walls and even if he wasn't her prince charming she figured she could try a relationship with him.
If this whole fiasco with Jane during the last decade had told her anything than that there wasn't something like the perfect guy who'd just knock on her door someday. If she wanted a happy ending, she needed to take matters into her own hands and that's why she'd agreed to go out with Marcus. He was decent and had granted her wish to take things slow. She knew it probably wasn't really fair to him to date him when a big part of her was still in love with Jane, but she had to start somewhere, right? And he was pretty okay with things if their make out session in his car a few minutes ago had been any indication. Nevertheless, it hadn't felt right to ask him upstairs and so she'd politely removed herself from temptation.
Another knock made her remember she hadn't actually opened the door, so she quickly did so and was greeted with the bloody face of Patrick Jane that had her screaming for a second.
"Jane? What the hell happened?", she asked, pulling him inside and maneuvered him into the bathroom. She gently made him sit down on the toilet, before carefully removing his hands from his bloody face. He hissed in pain.
"Sorry," she murmured, trying to be even more gentle as she examined his nose.
"I don't think it's broken," she finally stated before taking a washrag, damping it and carefully removing the blood from his face.
"Are you going to tell me what you did, Jane? You didn't pull another stupid stunt on Abbot or Fisher, did you?", she asked, her breath washing over his face.
"No," he mumbled and she noticed the dreamy look in his eyes.
Panic shot through her. "Jane, you didn't hurt your head, did you?"
"No, he just punched me in the face," he quietly answered which made Lisbon look at him sharply.
"Who did this, Jane?"
When he didn't answer right away, a bad feeling made itself home in her stomach. Ever since they'd known each other, secrets had always been between them, mostly on Jane's part. She had hoped after they started working together again that things would get easier now because she wasn't his boss anymore and Red John was out of the picture, but obviously not.
He apparently noticed that something was wrong because he felt the need to say something. "You'll be mad if I tell you," he said, avoiding her eyes.
Suddenly something clicked.
"Did Marcus do this?"
Alarmed he looked up and Lisbon instantly knew she hit the nail on the head. But why the hell… "Jane, did you wait up for me?", she slowly asked and he nodded, still refusing to meet her eyes.
Okay, there was obviously something she was not seeing here. At first Jane's strange behavior when she and Marcus had talked in the break room today and then him telling her not to go out with Marcus, not to mention his completely out of the blue kiss and his escape afterwards and now this? What the hell was going on?
"You really don't get this, do you?", Jane suddenly asked softly and his tone sounded like it was breaking his heart.
"Then explain it to me," she replied, gently taking his hand in hers, but he pulled it away and didn't look at her when he answered.
"I don't know if that still makes sense."
Now, angry and confused, Lisbon grabbed his chin to make him look at her again. "Tell me, Jane."
His question came so out of the blue that it caught her completely off guard.
"Are you in love with Pike?" His eyes were intense and it was taking her breath away.
"Jane, what…." Not knowing how to even finish this she glared at him, helpless and confused, but Jane wasn't finished yet.
"If you aren't, then why are you dating him anyway?"
Okay, she needed to get her act together again. She still didn't know why Jane was asking and saying things like that but he was obviously on a mission which was never good to be unprepared for. But before she could say anything, Jane had already continued.
"I'll tell you why. You are afraid of ending up alone so you date the first guy showing interest in you. And I really don't get why because I thought you knew it was only a matter of time before you and I were getting started. I'll admit I wasn't working fast enough, but this isn't a reason to just blow everything and let Pike put his disgusting hands on you." His face didn't mask anything for once. He looked tired and angry, hurt and hopeless and suddenly Lisbon understood.
"Jane, how the hell was I supposed to know you were actually interested in me? Whenever you were even the tiniest bit more than platonic it was just to trick me somehow. And even though you wrote me letters, in which one could have read some deeper feelings between the lines, it didn't mean anything because as much as you knew you were never going to see me again. And even after we actually met again, you were pretty much the same as always, you even kept flirting with Fisher right in front of me. So please tell, how the hell was I supposed to know this?"
She was breathing heavily, her hands in her waist and glaring down at him. She was angry now. "And even if I had known it, how can you possibly, after round about twelve years, ask me to wait until you finally get your act together? It's not like you were near ready if you still wearing your wedding band is any indication. If spent the better part of the last decade being madly in love with you, but at some point I had to decide to call it off and look for something else. It's not healthy."
Lisbon had lost herself now and suddenly she saw everything clear. It was not right to let Jane keep her from a relationship. This whole thing between them would never work out because he was, well him, and she needed things he'd never be able to give her and even though she wasn't in love with Marcus yet, she liked him plenty and he was sexually appealing to her and she really wouldn't Jane let her make up her mind just to keep up the slight hope that someday she would get her prince charming.
Jane moved which pulled her out of her thoughts, and before she knew it, his hands were wrapped around her face.
"Don't do this. I won't let you throw away everything because of my stupidity," he murmured frantically, before pressing her lips against hers for a second time today.
It was as desperate as it had been in the break room, but somehow it felt different, like he knew what he was doing, like he wanted this and wasn't just kissing her because he thought he had to or didn't know what else to do.
And so this kiss pretty much blew her mind, made her not think at all and just join him in his passion. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer and even though he was groaning out of pain, they didn't stop. Lips, tongues and teeth clashed and every fiber of love she had felt for him for years was tumbling out of her and she moaned when he sucked her neck while he slowly eased her out of her dress.
She didn't know how they managed to get the both out of their clothes and without further wounds into her bed, but they succeeded and when they lay there afterwards, tired and sweaty, but sated and so very happy, she couldn't even remember what made her think even for a second that this was anything else than worth waiting for.