A couple notes in advance:

-I know script formats are discouraged, and I apologize in advance for any deviancy from normal conventions. I wrote this fanfic in the form of a script a year or so ago before I knew the proper regulations for FanFiction. I tried to turn it into prose but the overall effect was ruined and the plot became unclear, and so I went back to this original form.

-I consider this to take place after the 2nd Dimension movie, since I am publishing it now, but it doesn't really matter for the purposes of the story.

-Finally, a disclaimer: I do not own the rights to any of the characters, catchphrases, plot points, themes, or any other aspects of Phineas and Ferb.

Sunny with a Chance of Dancing

(Phineas, Ferb, Candace, Mom, Dad, and Perry are watching TV. The current show ends.)

Announcer: And now for the Bohring Morning News. All Bohring. All the time.

Phineas: Why is the Bohring News Station so boring?

Mom: Well, the news on the Bohring News Station is probably boring because everyday life is usually boring.

Phineas: But it's so boring that it's boring the Bohring News Station camera crew to sleep! (snoring in the background)

Dad: Well, I've heard that the manager of the Bohring News Station, Robert Bohring, is also boring. In fact, there are stories that Bohring was so boring that his friends called him "Boring Bohring." That might be why the Boring Morning News is so boring.

Hmm, the Bohring News is probably also boring "Boring Bohring" right now! Isn't that amusing?

(Everyone just stares at Dad)

Phineas: No…actually, that's just…confusing.

Candace: Gah! I'm living with monkeys! You're more "boring" than Perry, and he just sits around and does NOTHING!

Phineas: Hey, where IS Perry?

(Scene Change: Perry is in the kitchen. He puts on his secret agent hat, opens the freezer door (accompanied by usual theme music), and jumps inside, closing the door behind him. He lands in secret agent chair, shivering and covered with icicles.)

Monogram: Greetings, Agent P. Oh, sorry about the whole "freezer" thing. We're working on mechanical problems with the other entrances. Anyway, Dr. Doofenschmirtz was spotted receiving a-

Voice: UNKEY! ME WANT UPSIES!

Monogram (bending down): Shh! I thought we agreed to be on our best behavior while we're at your uncle's work!

Voice: UPSIES! UPSIES! UPSIES!

Monogram (holding ears): FINE! (picks up 2-year-old with blond hair) Um…Agent P, this is my nephew, Jeffery. See…my sister-in-law and her husband had to go to a wedding, and they couldn't bring Jeffery because of…um, well, let's just say-

Jeffery (looking at screen with a gasp of delight): DUCKIE! (lunges at screen)

Monogram (struggling to hold back Jeffery): NO! NO BOTHERING THE AGENTS! GO IN THE OTHER ROOM WITH MR. CARL NOW!

Jeffery (bawling now): NO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O! ME WANT DUCKIE-E-E-E!

(Monogram slams the door shut, screaming can still be heard in the background. Perry is dumbstruck)

Monogram (panting): Sorry about that…now, anyway, your mission. Dr. Doofen-schmirtz was spotted receiving a suspicious package from the mail at 7:00 this morning. We need you to investigate the situation and assess the danger. Good luck. (Perry climbs into a rectangular hole in the wall) Wait! We haven't tested the oven exit yet! (Fire and smoke erupt from the opening.) CARL! (Opens door to the room he just shut Jeffery in) I told you to seal that-

Jeffery: DUCKIE-E-E-E! (Monogram promptly slams the door shut again)

(Perry emerges from the oven black, burnt, and trailing smoke. His tail is on fire. He immediately jumps into the sink to put it out. He makes a relieved face. However, he hears footsteps, so he resumes his dumb animal act)

Phineas: Oh, there you are, Perry!

Perry: R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R

Phineas: What are you doing in the sink? Hm… Well I guess you are a semi-AQUATIC mammal… (sniffs) …hey, is something burning? (puts down Perry) Dad! Are you trying to bake something again? (Perry resumes being a secret agent and takes off in the opposite direction)

Dad: Oh, really, are my crumpets that bad?