I did the whole "Twilight" thing. Married the first guy I fell in love with, or rather, vampire. He was good and sweet, and he never ate humans. I even changed myself to be with him forever. I thought our fairy tale ending would work. It didn't. Not even a fraction of a lifetime had passed before I began to feel old and unhappy. I looked like a twenty year-old and my true age wasn't really that far off, but I began to feel bitter and resentful on the inside. But I tried to be happy for Stefan; I was still desperately in love with him.
But it's useless to try now that he's gone. I have nothing left to live forever for. I'm alone in a world that has forgotten me. No more family and no chance at one now that Stefan was gone. Just...perpetual solitary. It was the price of eternal youth. One of them, anyway.
You'd think I, of all people, would have known not to turn. My parents are dead. My biological parents are dead, one way or the other. My innocent aunt was murdered just because she cared about me. If I hadn't realized by then how much the world sucked, pun not intended, then shame on me. I deserve whatever endless torture the universe sees fit to bestow upon me.
I still write in my diary every day. It seems almost pointless, and these days every entry is starting to look the same. I write about how much I hunger for human blood, how I refrain from feeding on humans every day just to honor Stefan. How alone I am - not lonely - just alone. It feels like there's a difference.
And every day I ask, 'Is this the day I end my existence?'
And every day, just when I'm convinced this will be the day, the feeling that something's coming overwhelms me, and I must stop. It is too powerful. I don't know what it is, but I hope I will not have to wait long. This endless life is shredding everything about me. My memories, my dreams, my hope…