Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN TEEN WOLF

In the end it's not something they can fix. They'd tried to fix it already. Oh god had they tried. It's not because it's too little to late or even because it's too much to soon. It was just broken. In the end there was nothing either of them could do about it. The love was there, it just wasn't enough. It wasn't enough to out weigh the pain of being together, surrounded in chaos. The pain is what led Stiles to moving across the country to go to Columbia instead of staying with the others to go to Berkeley.

The pain is what keeps Stiles from going back to Beacon Hills until after he finishes his eight year degrees in seven. Even then he only goes back with the intention to check on the house that's sickeningly bereft of his father. The house he only keeps because it's like the last living member of his family with all its secrets and all its memories. Both the good and the bad. The house he only keeps because he feels like losing it would mean losing the only surviving, tiny piece of himself.

He really did lose the rest of himself. Between the pain of constant struggle and every horrid thing he had done to protect others from the need. There is nothing left. Anyone else would have gone insane with the burdens that he carried on his shoulders. With the weight of the world that comes from losing oneself so others don't have to. He doesn't live he simply exists. There is nothing else left for him to do.

He stares at the front of the house as he waits for the garage door to finish clunking open and he doesn't know how he should feel. He knows he probably shouldn't feel numb though. He feels like he should feel something other than resignation. Knows he should actually. He minored in psychology after all. Tried to find a way to cope with or deny everything that had happened to make his life a complete mess that even Oprah wouldn't have wanted to touch with a ten foot pole in her prime.

Sometimes he hates Scott and Derek. Blames them for ruining his life and destroying everything he ever held dear. Mostly though, he hates himself. Everything could have been avoided if he hadn't drug Scott out into the woods to get bit by Peter in the first place. Sometimes he hates himself so much it's crippling.

He doesn't make it past the couch the first night.

The fates give him six days before they throw him back into the crossfire. He's been lucky enough to avoid everyone he knows in Beacon Hills except his neighbors until that point. Naturally his luck would run out on the side of the road leading past the Preserve where two alphas smashed over the front of his hood while he was going 50.

They were still bleeding on his hood when he stopped a few seconds later. All he can feel right now is a bit of anger for the sake of his car and a hint of worry over which two alphas he'd just knocked unconscious with the front end of his vehicle. He felt like his car may have had an unfair advantage on that one so he wouldn't add it to his list of supernatural accomplishments. As far as things went that was cheating.

He's right in figuring one of the alphas is Derek when he gets out of his car to check the damage. The other is not some one that he recognizes. He goes back to his door and presses his hand on the still thankfully working horn. He knows better than to get anywhere near fighting alphas. The scars from Peter down his right forearm can attest to that knowledge.

The alphas shoot up and away from each other to take in the situation. They're both staring at him incredulously because he's probably the only human in the world that's immune to the shock value of naked werewolf men destroying his car. They get over it as soon as their respective packs start showing up to take in the scene. He just pulled out his phone looking up the number for a tow truck and when he looks up again they're all still staring at him.

"My mother taught me not to play in traffic."

He sees the man's body language in the reflection of his window and realizes he's going to attack long before Derek makes to lunge at the beta. He's pretty sure they all take a collective step back when he drops the beta by sweeping his feet out and kicking him in the temple. Hard. He's put up with enough supernatural bullshit in the last nine years to know when, where, and how to strike. He just turned with blunt human teeth bared at the woman how looked ready to pounce on him next.

"I'm not interested in your bullshit back the fuck off."

He saw her stumble backwards a bit and turned his focus back to his cell. He put his phone to his ear and listened as it rang for one of the few tow shops in Beacon Hills. He knew the werewolves were all listening in on his call and he didn't really care. He asks for a tow and tells them the deer he hit limped back into the forest so they didn't need to send anyone for the body. He hung up and looked to see everyone still just staring at him. He flipped them the bird and leaned against the side of his car.

"You two need to get out of the road before another car comes. And you need to take your beta because I hit a deer not a person and that's what it looks like right now."

They just stare dumbly at him.

"MOVE IT."

They lurch into action and do what he says and he watches them with a blank face. They're in the forest when the truck comes. Far enough back that the only thing he could see was their glowing eyes from the road. He gets in the cab and pretends he doesn't see two sets of red eyes following him for a mile or so. He's great at denial.

The car was going to take some work and therefore time so he decided to get comfortable. He took a cab home and got the jeep from the garage. By some luck the piece of crap still ran and was thankfully still up to date with the stickers in an envelope off the counter. He got gas and went to the store to stock up on the necessities. He felt them watching him and chose to ignore it instead of confronting them in public. He didn't want to be involved. Naturally he doesn't have much of a choice.

Derek's on his front porch when he pulls up. He looks tired and he knows that Derek's already taken care of the other pack. Stiles just parks in the garage and gets out grabbing some of the bags as he goes. More bags crinkle behind him and he knows Derek is following him inside invited or not. They set everything in the kitchen and Derek sorts things out while Stiles puts them away in the empty cabinets and fridge. Derek breaks the silence first.

"You didn't tell me you were coming home."

"I never intended to stay. I came here to check on the house and hide from my publicist. Obviously my car's gonna take some time so I'll have to wait to leave now."

"I'm sorry. I'll pay for it."

"It's covered by the insurance. Don't worry about it."

"Will you come see the pack?"

He looked down at the box of noodles in his hand quietly. When he makes no move to answer Derek speaks again.

"They've missed you. We all have."

"I don't think it's a good idea."

"Why not?"

"Because it'll get their hopes up that I'm staying if I get involved with everything again."

"Then why don't you just stay?"

"Because I don't want to wake up to an empty house everyday and realize I have no one left."

"You have the pack. You have me."

Derek's words are quiet as he takes the box of noodles from Stiles and forces the younger to meet his eyes. Stiles' words are just as quiet when he replies.

"No I don't Derek. I never had the pack they were always yours. I don't have you either Derek. We couldn't make it work. I don't want to stare into your face every day and be forced to remember that I can't have you."

"We could try again."

"And if doesn't work I have to go through all this pain again. We can't Derek. I can't."

He doesn't protest as Derek picks him off the ground and sets him on the counter. There is nothing remotely sexual about the way Derek steps in between his legs and wraps his arms around Stiles' waist. He just presses his face into Stiles' chest and holds on. Stiles just wraps his arms across Derek's shoulders and stays quietly. It's probably an hour later when Derek pulls his head back to look at Stiles.

"I missed you. I missed you so, so much. I didn't know if I was allowed to call you so I didn't. I knew if I did I'd just beg you to come home instead."

"I don't think I would have answered. I probably would have begged you to take me back."

His laugh is so bitter he can taste it on the back of his tongue.

"We were so toxic. Nothing could have saved us."

"Stiles. Please come with me. Come home."

For the longest time he just sits there quietly and traces the pattern of Derek's triskele. He's spent the last seven years going over every possible way Derek could ask him this and every possible way he could say no. Every possible way he could protect himself from the agony of heartbreak again. He curls his fingers into Derek's shoulders and braces himself to refuse Derek. Rejection isn't what falls from his lips though.

"Yeah. Okay."

He feels the way Derek slumps in relief when he words slide past his lips. Feels his own shaky exhale and the stinging behind his eyes. He feels just a little bit of the pain from the last seven years fade away. Feels Derek's fingers tighten into the material of his shirt and pull him closer. Like he has no intention of ever letting him go. He feels like maybe with a little work he could be home. Feels like maybe if they work this right he won't feel so alone.

They pull apart slowly and then put the rest of the food away before he lets Derek pull him into the old Camaro and drive them out towards the Hale house. When Derek sets a hand on top of his and laces their fingers he doesn't pull away. He just squeezes lightly and leans back in his seat with his eyes closed. When they pull up and he gets out of the car there's a loud wail and Isaac is springing off the front porch running towards him. The others aren't far behind. Erica, Scott, and Danny are hot on his heels. Lydia and Jackson after them and Boyd bringing up the rear.

He lands on top of Derek as they get tackled to the ground and smothered by the pack. It hits him then how much he's missed this. How much he wants to stay. It hits him then just exactly how much pain he's been in for the last seven years. He never wants to leave this again. So he doesn't.

It takes two years, three encounters with rival packs, half a dozen vicious fights with Derek that end with Stiles locking all of them out of his childhood home, and Derek offering him the bite which he refuses for things to settle down.

A year later when Stiles turns 28 he proposes to Derek. He tells the man he'll take the bite if Derek will marry him.

When Stiles reaches the altar a year later he looks into Derek's eyes and he feels like he's home. Finally.

Hello loves. I know I should be working on I'm Awesome but I want to see how the rest of the season pans out before I finish it. So have this instead. You should listen to 'To Build A Home' by The Cinematic Orchestra while you read this. I promise you it's a punch to the feels.

HalfDrunk