[Ah, c'mon now, you didn't think someone with as strange of stories as I could pass up what is now a nearly cliche fic type?]
"Around that corner!" Amy called tracking on the little computer the Doctor had tossed at her.
The Doctor rounded the corner at top speed, Rory, River and Amy not far behind.
The three nearly ran into each other as the Doctor stopped dead in his tracks.
In front of him, not but a few steps away, Sarah Jane stood, two of her 'kids' stuck behind her. Facing her from across the alley was a terrified and furious alien wielding a ray gun that was pointed right at Sarah Jane. The alien was a short pink creature with eyes that rose above his head like a slug's.
The Doctor looked back and forth between the ray gun, Sarah Jane and the alien. Paused and then thought of a plan.
As the ray gun fired the Doctor reached out and shoved Rory into its path.
Rory yelped as the light hit him and spread throughout his body. He shivered and shook then opened his eyes and glared at the Doctor. "What was that for?"
"Shield activate." the Doctor said seriously, then stuck his tongue out childishly.
"Doctor! Don't kill my husband." Amy smacked him across his upper arm and pulled Rory towards her.
"He dies bi-weekly! Anyway it wouldn't have hurt him; it's geared towards females." the Doctor said sulkily then grinned and started towards the alien who was now backed into a corner. "You. Where are you from?"
The creature squeaked in terror and backed up further.
"Ah. You know who I am, don't you?"
It nodded so many times that he was surprised his brain didn't rattle.
The Doctor grinned slowly, a fierce near feral look on his face.
"Sweetie, don't give him a heart attack." River called out as Amy checked Rory over. "And don't do anything that will cause ANOTHER intergalactic war."
"Hey, Junbar started it!" He protested. Turning back to the little alien he took the gun and glared again. "Go back to your planet, NOW. You tell them that if they come back to Earth and if they even attempt to encounter any of my friends I'll make it to where you think Planet 9 is like Tera-Six."
The Alien gulped, look visibly more terrified and fumbled for his wrist where his transmat was, sending himself spinning off to his ship.
The Doctor stood up, turned and grinned. "Happy?"
"Ecstatic." River said dryly.
The Doctor ignored her and strolled over to nearly lift Sarah Jane off the ground in a giant hug. "Why do you have to face off against aliens who wish to harm people?"
"Someone's got to defend the Earth." Sarah Jane laughed and hugged him back.
"Yes well...Try not to get on the wrong side of guns, will you? I don't like trying to undo and redo time." he whined, "And I'm the only one who gets a title!"
"Excuse me? Lone Centurion here." Rory said.
"Girl who waited." Amy offered.
River opened her mouth to say something, closed it and smiled. "Spoilers."
"Titles? What are you on about?" Clyde asked curiously.
"You can undo time?" Rani asked eagerly.
"Yes. But you shouldn't because it's messy and deadly." Sarah Jane warned the teens and looked sternly at the Doctor. "You know that."
"Well, yeah..." He studied his shoes for a moment then added, "But this way killed a lot less lives, saved more AND prevented the lack of fish custard."
"...What?"
"Can we explain somewhere that doesn't smell like fish and trash?" River looked visibly put off by the bins in the alley.
"The TARDIS is-"
"My house." Sarah Jane said quickly, "I don't trust you not to have us 'accidentally' spinning off and ending up on Mars...again."
The Doctor whistled innocently.
"So there I am, sword in one hand, Rubik's cube in the other ready to face down whatever deadly foe is about to come after me and enter the Pandorica when what do I see? The fierce creature that's made all that noise, this demonic evil that wants to destroy my love is none other than...a rabbit."
Clyde and Rani laughed as Rory shook his head in amused embarrassment.
"It wasn't near as funny at the time. But that rabbit did make good company. I called him Jeff."
Amy snorted, "Only you would get revenge that way."
Sarah Jane put a cup of tea in front of Rory, handed one to Amy and sent the Doctor the 'you better talk' look she'd perfected 30-odd years ago.
The Doctor took a drink of his, made a face and spit it out, managing to hit the sink. "Okay, that's...eww."
"Such a picky eater." River traded her cup for his. "Just because it smells good, doesn't mean it tastes good to you."
He took a drink of Rivers and nodded, "That's much better."
"Doctor..." Sarah Jane sent him the look again making him gulp and talk fast.
"Well, you see there was an incident. Little in the grand scheme, but bad all the same."
"Little?" Amy interrupted, "You cried and moped for days."
The Doctor scowled at her, "Shush! Time Lords don't mope."
"Yes they do." River, Sarah Jane, Amy and Rory said.
"Shut up! Anyway yes, little-big incident. Just one death. You were supposed to get shot today. You'd die, which is - again in the biggest scheme not THAT giant an event. Well, it's big. But not huge. It's like if the creator of space travel never lived as opposed to if the big bang never happened, but...I'm rambling..am I rambling? I think I am..."
"Doctor!"
"He's rambling." River rolled her eyes and perched on the counter. "Because he's afraid of how you'll react."
"I'll react worse if he doesn't spit it out already." Sarah Jane said crossly.
"Well, your death starts a chain reaction, bad things. Like really bad things. Humongous evil bad things! There's no fish custard in that future!" he looked desperately upset by that. "There's no fish custard, no you and I'm not the only titled one!"
"What on Earth are you going on about?" Rani asked, summing up the Earth bound groups thoughts.
"If Sarah Jane had died today, bad things would have happened." Rory told them.
"Her son wasn't too happy with that species." River added.
"He sorta went on a bit of a mental spiral." Amy offered.
"A bit of a spiral?" Rory scoffed. "He destroys 7 planets, three satellites and a Tesco!"
"And the manufacturing plants!" the Doctor almost howled his outrage. "And he took titles! I'm 'the Lonely God'! I'm 'the oncoming storm'! I'm the-"
"Don't claim 'The Destroyer of worlds'." River tapped his arm lightly, "The Veil wouldn't be pleased with you."
"Right..." he looked innocent again then looked at Sarah Jane."I like you alive. I like worlds not blown to bits by rampaging orphans. I like fish custard."
"I think what he means to say is, 'It's better if you're alive'." Amy told her.
Sarah Jane took a seat at the table and looked shocked. "Clyde? Rani?"
"Yes?"
"Promise me that if something ever happens you won't let Luke do that?"
"I -"
"Helped." Amy said easily. "You got the title 'Destroyer of the Veil'. Poor Rani only got one no one could pronounce...Though the Slitheen did have it coming."
The teens looked pale and upset and both started rambling promises about never committing any acts of terror against planets.
Sarah Jane sighed and patted both of their hands in consolation. "Doctor, why can't you ever visit to catch up? A nice 'hi, how are you doing? Cup of tea? Lovely'?"
"I came to visit not long ago!"
"Aliens were rampaging and you used my son and Clyde as a distraction."
"..." the Doctor suddenly found the ceiling tiles very interesting.