No.
No. No. No.
This couldn't be happening.
NO!
He screamed. He trashed out. He called for help.
But nobody came.
Frustrated, he called his Blasters forth, shooting beams of light in every direction. He needed to see the light, to hear the low grumbling of his magic. He would go crazy here, devoid of everything.
Time, space, colors, sound.. Nothing existed here. Nothing ever did. Nothing ever would.. Except for him, apparently.
He was in the Void.
Blackness engulfed everything around him.
It pierced his soul, swallowed up all the colors around him.
No..
No, this couldn't be real.
No, they needed him.
Everyone needed him.
He couldn't go down like this. He couldn't just.. vanish.
They needed him.
Asgore, waiting for him to find a solution..
Alphys, always so eager to learn..
Toriel, wanting nothing more than to finally teach him how to make pie for the..
For his boys. His sons.
Sans. Papyrus.
He couldn't leave them!
Sans was still a kid.. Papyrus still his little babybones..
What would happen to them without him?
Better not think about it.
But how? How could he get back?
How, when everything around him was scientifically speaking non-existend? When he was trapped at a place, where even the rules of time didn't apply?
Nothing existed in the Void.
Theoretically even he was non-existent here.
Wasn't he?
He couldn't feel his body, couldn't feel his ribcage heaving with every shuddering breath he took.
Was he even still breathing?
Hesitantly, he raised his hands in front of his face- or at least what he assumed was still his face.
And, rest assured, he was never happier to see the pale white of his bones.
So the rules of the Void didn't apply to him. Or at least not completely.
He existed.
He, W.D. Gaster, existed.
He just needed to find a way out of here.
Minutes, hours, days..
Nothing mattered anymore.
He wandered for what felt like eternities. For all he knew it could have been seconds though.
How were you supposed to measure time in a place where time didn't exist?
The darkness around him seemed to get thicker with every passing second he spend in it.
He started to lose focus. He couldn't concentrate.
Pictures started to show up in front of his eyessockets. Memories from another time.
Some, he could remember. Some, he couldn't.
Sans. Papyrus.
He needed to find a way out of here!
He saw them.
Sans started to walk. He was so proud!
Papyrus spoke his first word, his brothers name.
Sans face when he brought him to see Papyrus for the first time.
His soul shattered when he thought about them.
His sons. His biggest pride. The best things he ever created.
He never thought it would be able to feel so many things for someone, until he was able to hold his oldest son for the first time.
He had been crying nearly as much as he was right now.
His big eyesockets had been wide open, drinking in everything he saw. His nasal bone scrunched up in confusion and concentration, the little hands firm around Gasters big fingers.
He loved him, from the first second he saw him. Just like Papyrus.
He needed to get back to them.
He needed to make sure they were alright. He needed to see them!
Those memories weren't enough.
He wanted to hold them and never let go.
It felt like he had been away from them for centuries already.
And with every memory playing in front of his eyesockets, he felt another piece of his soul dying.
He was a mere shadow of his former being
He didn't even had a real body, for Asgores sake!
If he could, he would be screaming again, swearing, raging.
Gaster had never been good in controlling his temper. Why start now?
Another memory.
He stopped dead in his tracks, when he saw little Papyrus running to him in the orange onesie he loved so much.
The boy was laughing, his favorite teddy in one hand and a scarf in the other.
Papyrus second birthday.
Gaster felt himself smiling, even though he wanted to break down.
He had looked for weeks, before he found the scarf for the boy. Never, in the next two years, had he seen him without it. He wore it always.
He remembered Sans being slightly jealous, so Gaster gave him his favorite jacket the next day, with the promise that the boy could wear it as soon as he was big enough for it.
Every monster in the Underground had learned to identify the babybones with the red scarf and the skelekid with the blue jacket as Gasters kids.
How?
How could life be so cruel to him?
What had he ever done to deser- Okay, that was a stupid question.
He knew he did enough things to deserve something like this.
But that didn't make it fair!
Was he supposed to remain here for all eternity, with nothing but memories of his former life?
And what about his sons? Were they destined to grow up without a family? Without a father?
No.
NO!
He couldn't let it happen.
He couldn't lose hope.
But how? How was he supposed to keep holding on?
There was nothing here for him. Not even his own voice made any noises.
His soul hurt.
Everything hurt.
He tried closing his eyesockets, when the next memory appeared.
Sans. He looked up at him expectantly, a single tooth laying in his open palm with a gap in in his smile to accompany it.
He could almost hear his voice..
d-dad?
Yes, Sans?
m-my tooth.. i-it just fell o-out.
His eyesockets wide with tears running down his cheekbones.
Gaster smiled and closed his eyes, for a moment lost in his memories.
It's alright, Sans. Nothing to worry about.
b-but why did it.. eeeh fall out?
It happens sometimes.
you still have all your teeth, dad!
Well of course.
Sans had looked up at him, his nasal bone furrowed in confusion and Gaster had chuckled.
They come back one day. Don't worry about it.
you sure?
His big eyesockets had look so afraid.
Gaster had picked him up and reassured him a few times more, before Sans had finally believed him.
Sans had always been a difficult child.
He was way too smart for his own good.
Gaster stopped dead in his tracks. Memory after memory played in front of his eyesockets, tears streamed down his skull.
It hurt so much. To see what was, to see what he lost.
He should have never worked on this damn machine. He should have never tested it.
Who had he been kidding?
There was no way out of this godforsaken hellhole.
He couldn't go back.
Not now. Not ever.
He screwed up, big time.
He missed them. He missed his sons so much.
Never had he thought that a single being could feel so much pain.
This was torture.
He lost his hope, all of it, in that moment.
Slowly, without him even noticing, black goop started to engulf his body, swallowing every bone, every color except for his face and his hands.
He became one with the Void.
After all, without hope, there was nothing left.
He was nothing. He was non-existent.
I don't know if he ever existed.
I can't remember his name.
I don't know his story.
I forgot who he is.
Is he even a he?
I can't remember.
I'm sorry, dear readers, deeply sorry.
But it seems like I forgot what we were talking about.
But anyhow, let's talk about another thing.
After all it's rude to talk about people who are listening..