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A Sam/Andy fic.
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Disclaimer: Don't own Rookie Blue.
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A/N: Sorry I haven't been writing much Rookie Blue the past week, it's been pretty tense around here.
I thought I should put in a separate note here, instead of replying to everyone who sent me messages and reviewed my last story individually: when I said that I lost my little brother, I didn't mean that he died. He is still very much alive. He was taken from us though. I don't know if or when we're going to get him back, and it certainly feels as though he has died. I was moved by all your condolences and even though I'm an atheist, I'm happy that some of you had him in your prayers. I'm not one for praying, but I do hope that he will come back to us soon. It's only been a week but I can't bear to be without him any longer.
Anyway ... I don't know when I'm going to be able to get more Rookie Blue fics out, or how many there will be, but I'll try to keep going.
This is just a short one following the last episode, from Andy's perspective.
I hope you guys like this one.
As always, please read and review, I live for feedback.
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I want to stop thinking of you. I want to go to work, and not feel my heart flutter every time I see that we're paired together.
I want you to stop looking at me with that look; the one that tells me that even though you can't do anything about it, you're thinking about me. I want you to stop being so god-damn nice, and making me regret the choice that I made to stay with him. I want you to stop making me feel guilty every time he kisses me.
I want to be able to laugh with you, without feeling as though I'm cheating on him. I want to be able to spend a day of work without undressing you with my eyes. I want you to stop smiling at me - showing me those dimples - and making me second-guess my choices.
I want this program with my dad to work. I wanted you to be the one with me when I dropped him off, but he called me first.
I want so many things ... so many things that I know that I can't have. I want the things that are against the rules, I want the things that will make me feel so good inside.
I want you to hold me, and make me believe that my dad will stick to the program. I want you to make me believe that everything is going to work out. I want to be in your arms, and not feel the urge to run. I want you to smile down at me and remind me why it is that I can't resist you. I want you to finally step up and admit your feelings for me. I want you to quit pretending as though none of this affects you. I want you to admit that you're jealous of him, and that you still want me.
I want to stop feeling like a filthy, cheating whore for wanting you so badly. I want life to stop being so damn complicated.
I want ... I just want you.
Maybe I can't admit it out loud, maybe I can't get the words to come out ... but it's what I want. And I want you to look at me, and read my mind in that way that you do, and finally give me that push to get the words out.
I want you, Sam Swarek.
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The end.
Just a short one, but it wasn't meant to be long. Just a quick run-through of what Andy might have been thinking.
What did you guys think?
Reviews are appreciated, flame if you must, but constructive criticism is much more useful.
Until next time ...!