(((Legal Notice: First off I do not own twilight nor am I making any money off of this. Still the story is mine so don't post it anywhere without my permission.

Mission Statement: Twilight was a series built for self insertion fan-fic. Let's face it Bella is a blank slate built so that any girl can project herself onto the character.

Well, I personally am so different from Bella that the story would have been hilariously different if I had moved to forks instead of her. What if instead of boring and meek Bella, the story had featured a heroine with some serious chutzpah (and arthritis).

I am following the rules of the universe but inserting myself into the story as exactly the person I was at 17. The one Mary Sue allowance I am making for myself is that like Bella I will have the power of smelling extra tasty to Edward. I'm using this as a writing exercise so no promises on writing anything more then what I'm have already done. Furthermore I am mixing together things from the book and the movie, so don't be too alarmed about that.

I would appreciate feedback on my story be it positive of negative. )))

Chapter 1

I looked out the window of the Airport taxi trying to burn the images to memory. I had taken pictures of my home and neighborhood from every imaginable angle, but I was still afraid that the memories would fade away. I couldn't say too much for the town where I grew up. I didn't have many friends and I had even less to do. All the same my house was my sanctuary, and as cute as the cabin in Forks looked in the pictures it would take a long time for it to feel like home.

I suppose the really unfortunate thing was that I had to move now. If I had moved during middle school there would have been no problem, I had nothing to loose back then. But of course I had to move while I was in high school where I actually had a few friends. I tried to remind myself that I made friends easily in places like summer camp where I started out knowing no one, but I couldn't help but feel nervous about how I would fit into my new school.

Who knew Forks could actually be a better place for me to be. If nothing else it was better for my family. We were making the move because my Mother had accepted a job on at a private school for special needs students. She was good friends with the head mistress who recommended she make the big move, and the job paid better.

Everyone who lives in New Jersey talks about how they plan to move to another state some day. Go somewhere where there are still open spaces, places where you can go weeks without driving on a highway, places where people actually bothered to learn their neighbors names, places that were a little more sane.

The original plan had been for me to make a cross country trip with my Dad and two dogs two weeks ago. We would drive all the way from New Jersey to Washington, stopping at a few tourist traps and taking the time to really see the country. Sadly plans had to be changed when my body had a terrible reaction to my wisdom teeth removed. I couldn't travel across country in a U-Haul while I was running constant fevers and had a face so swollen I couldn't fit t-shirts over my head.

Things started to pass by in a Haze as I turned on my CD player to the special Leaving Home mix I had made and attempted to keep from crying on the airplane. New Jersey is a crappy state I had no illusions about that, but dear God was I going to miss it.

It was a long journey through two airports followed by a three hour car ride. For the most part my Mother and I rode in silence. Normally we were both talkative people, but I could tell we were both questioning the move and wondering if it was really the right choice.

Our new house was a picturesque one story log cabin right near a nice fishing stream. As expected my father had only half finished his work in preparing the new house. Boxes were everywhere, the new furniture lay in odd and unusable formations, and some of the walls had been torn up so that he could fix the houses electrical system. It didn't feel like a home quite yet, I kept reminding myself that with a bit of redecoration this place would begin to feel more like home.

Like everything else that day something about this whole experience felt unreal, like I would wake up tomorrow back in my old house. Things were unusually silent that night as all of us set to work on unpacking and trying to turn this house into a home. Aside from me being obsessive and spending a full hour debating what to wear on my first day at school the night was pretty uneventful. Oh hell figuring out what to wear was pretty uneventful. Traditionally I wore a skirt on the first day of school because despite my better nature I just wanted people to think of me as being kind of pretty on the first day of school.

I'm pretty average looking. My face is a fairly attractive one. I have green eyes, but they are hidden behind glasses. I recently developed a weird eye condition that meant I could no longer wear contacts, I liked my new emo glasses but it was a different look for me. I still had to get used to it. I have brown curly hair that can look nice when it decides to behave itself. The big problem with my looks is that I am more full figured then is considered attractive. I'm the type of girl who doesn't get noticed much by guys, but I'm not something you run from screaming in terror either.

I was barely able to sleep my first night in forks. I was nervous about my first day at a new school. I kept trying to think of different scenarios and how I would handle them. Would people like me, would I be able to find new friends, would I be prepared for my classes. By the time I finally got to sleep it was 2 AM, and then I had one of those awful anxiety dreams where I showed up to school naked and people laughed at me.

Mornings were the worst for me. I didn't know why but recently my body had been going through some changes, and I'm not talking about puberty here folks. I was tired all of time and my body was sore and achy, it was kind of like having a flu that just wouldn't go away. Whenever I first woke up everything feels stiff and I was barely able to walk. I knew it wasn't normal, but I was 17 it had to be some sort of weird fluke and I was going to ignore it till it went away. Most of the time all of this faded away by noon so I wasn't too worried.

I spent an hour fixing my hair and makeup, I knew that aside from picture day this would be the only time I did something so vain and pointless. I just wanted to make a good impression. I'd spent too many years of my life as the weird fat chick, and maybe just maybe there was a chance that I could be something different. As my Dad drove me to school I tried to imagine all the possible outcomes of my first day. The fantasy where everyone loved me and wanted to be my friend, the nightmare where I was bullied and ignored, or the most realistic outcome no one would really care.

"Have a good day honey." My Dad said finally snapping me away from my own thoughts. We had arrived at the school. I couldn't say much for it, the place was kind of old and crappy looking. I tried not to judge too harshly based on that, it was supposed to have a good academic ranking.

"Thanks" I said unbuckling my seat belt and moving for the door. "You have a good day too, I love you Dad." I said, I always told my parents I loved them whenever we said goodbye.

"I love you too. And Emily stop worrying you'll do great here." he said

"Thanks" I said managing a weak smile before I hopped out of his pickup truck.

Even with my overactive imagination plugging away at possibilities nothing could have prepared me for being "the new kid" in a town like forks. My old high school was dangerously over crowded, filled with students from five different townships. I had gone from being in a class of 700 to a school of maybe 350 students. No one bothered to notice a new kid, no one even bothered to learn the names of faces of half the people in their class.

When I arrived I noticed some of the people were staring at me, it was all very children of the corn. Paranoid as always, I assumed the worst and wondered what their diabolical plans for me were. I hoped this wasn't the type of school where people got beat up or hazed. I don't handle pain well, and if someone shoved my head in a toilet I would have a serious mental break down. They weren't staring at me like they wished me harm but all the same it was alarming to have anyone paying attention to me.

The more I thought about it the more I realized they were just bored. I was an unknown variable entering a well established situation, and no one knew what that would mean. So far I was the weird new girl with glasses and frizzy hair, carrying big strange musical instrument case, and walking with a noticeable limp. I could live with that, I wish the limp would go away though.

I got my schedule from a helpful secretary and went about finding the band room so I could hopefully deposit my French horn. There was no way in hell I wanted to lug that thing around all day. I met the resident music teacher Mr Ingram who seemed excited to have me joining the band. As expected I was going to be first chair, not because I was the best mind you it was because once again I was the only person who played French Horn. He wrote me a late pass for my first period class while he excitedly talked about some of the music we would be doing this year.

The school was small and easy enough to navigate. I had no problems finding my classes, nor did I find them in any way more challenging then the ones I was used to. If anything the classes here seemed a bit more relaxed. I had gathered up my books and was getting ready to move on to the dreaded lunch period when I was approached by a cute nerdy looking Asian guy.

"Hi, I'm Eric, you must be Emily." he said

"Yea, how did you know my name?" I asked

"Oh it's big news when a new student comes to Forks. As a matter of fact that's why I wanted to talk to you we are thinking about running a small story in the school paper about you."

"Seriously?" I said "I mean, there's nothing better to report on?"

"No" said Eric in a dead serious tone "You can only talk about teen drinking so many times before it gets old. Come on, it will be fun you can answer some questions and I'll walk you to lunch."

"Ok, that sounds good." I said grateful for his offer to walk me to lunch, hopefully he would let me sit with him I had been dreading lunch and the prospect of having to sit alone. "I mean if you're that desperate for a story then sure. Why not" I said with a shrug.

"So question of the day? What was that weird toilet shaped thing you were carrying around earlier?" he asked

I rolled my eyes but smiled; he was not the first person to notice this similarity. For a few years I was known as toilet case girl, I didn't want that to happen here. "It's a French Horn case."

"Oh so your a musician?" he asked he was taking notes on a notepad.

"Yea, I guess so. I've been playing French horn since I was 10, and I do a bit of singing too. But I'm pretty average at both. I can't write music or anything." I explained

"Ok, I can work with that. Anything else." he said

"Um, well I'm from New Jersey."

"Yes we knew that." he said

"Weird, um ok I act. I'm really into that more then music." I said searching my brain to see if there was anything else about me worth mentioning "By the way does this school have a drama club?" she asked

"Not really, they tried to start it up a few times but they never get enough people to join." he said

"Oh, that sucks" I had been looking forward to being in a school where there would be less competition for roles. I guess I would have to find new activities to be a part of. We had just entered the cafeteria "Hey, do you mind if I sit with you. I don't really know anyone else here."

"Sure no problem" he said showing me over to a table.

I was quickly introduced to Angela, Jessica, and Mike. I noticed immediately that this school must not have been as cliquish as my old one. The people in this group weren't clearly identifiable as preps, or nerds, or jocks. Point in fact there was only one table in the entire cafeteria that stood apart in terms of it's occupants.

There were five people sitting at the table in question and I couldn't help but wonder if there was some sort of beauty requirement to get in their clique. Aside from their stunning good looks something felt off about them. Maybe I was just jealous, but there was something about them that was so perfect it was almost creepy. The one blond girl looked like she could be a Victoria's Secret model, the other girl had this adorable sort of pixie quality to her. Naturally more of my attention was spent on the males at the table. There was one who was the good looking brutish jock type, another guy who looked pained but still decidedly handsome, and then there was freaking Adonis himself. He had copper colored hair that was messed up just enough for it to look intentional, the face of an angel, and a nice ass to boot.

"So, what's with the supermodels in the corner?" I said subtlety nodding at them.

Jessica, who so far had been more then happy to indulge me in my need for gossip filled me in. "Oh they are the Cullens…"

"Wait" I said interrupting "You mean they are related, I mean some of them look pretty couple-ey."

"They are foster kids so they're not technically related" Jessica pointed out the ones that were dating as Jasper and Alice, Emmett was with Rosalie.

I had already picked them out as the couples but it was nice to have names to the faces. All the same it was pretty weird. I mean did the Cullens have a casting call amongst all foster children, and take only the prettiest children to raise. There was no way this was an accident, normal people just don't look like that. Were they some sort of government breeding experiment to make the world more pretty?

I turned around once more to get a better look at exceptionally pretty boy. As I turned to glanced at the table my eyes locked with Edwards for a single second, I immediately looked away and turned bright red. I had no idea how to act around guys who were that attractive.

Jessica had noticed my brief fit of girlishness which came immediately after making eye contact with him. "That's Edward. He's gorgeous, of course, but don't waste your time. He doesn't date. Apparently none of the girls here are good-looking enough for him." she sounded bitter and I couldn't blame her.

"So like, he hasn't dated anyone here at all?" I asked

"No." said Jessica, I was willing to bet she had a big crush on him at some point but was let down.

"Do you think he might be gay." I suggested in a very hushed tone

"What?" Jessica exclaimed clearly the thought hadn't occurred to her. Poor girl.

"Think about it, a super attractive guy like that who never has a girlfriend. That never struck you as odd?" I explained

"I don't know..." said Jessica

Edward hadn't exactly set off my gaydar which was generally quite accurate. All the same he was a teenage boy, and teenage boys were predictable all of them wanted the same thing. Guys generally didn't have high standards when it came to romance; certainly they wouldn't be with anyone who repulsed them and they would have higher standards for girls they dated seriously. A super hot guy like Edward could have just about any girl he wanted, and would at least be sleeping around with someone if he were straight. Of course it would be far too rude to say something like this aloud to people I had just met so I went with a more subtle approach.

"Ok, check out the hair. Now back me up gentlemen" I said to Mike and Eric "But no self respecting straight man would ever put that much time and hair product into making his hair look so perfectly disheveled." I said

"You got a point." Mike admitted

"So you mean this whole time..." Jessica whined realizing that she had spent so much time pining over a gay man.

"It's a distinct possibility, I bet there aren't many people in this school who are out of the closet. I could understand how it would be extra difficult to be gay in a small conservative town like Forks." I said

There was a brief pause in conversation, it lasted just long enough for me to hear the booming sound of Emmett laughing hysterically. I turned around to see him doubled over with laughter.

"I called it man." he said his voice was still very loud, sounded like he had just won a bet and was now gloating. Emmett moved to give Jasper a high five, and it looked like Jasper would have returned it had Alice not been giving him a death glare. I noticed that Edwards eyes were on me once again, and I could swear that he was specifically looking annoyed with me.

I shrugged it off, he was all the way across the cafeteria there was no way he could have heard all of this. The rest of the lunch period passed quickly as my table continued to get more and more chatty. I found out a few of them were on the prom committee I volunteered to help out, I loved to decorate. They seemed like a really fun group, and I was glad that I found them. It turned out that the shy one Angela was in my next class, biology and she offered to walk with me.

My limping had not improved as expected, I thought that it may have something to do with the crappy weather here. I was hurting but I couldn't give up on my first day. I was thankful that Angela said nothing, for all she knew I had always walked like this. If this didn't stop soon I was going to have to see a doctor, 17 year olds don't just wake up one morning with arthritis pains.

I arrived in Biology and introduced myself to the teacher, as I waited for him to check the roster I stood in front of the heating vent, the extra bit of heat felt great on such a cold rainy day. The teacher pointed me in the direction of Edward Cullen.

He was staring at me like he wanted to kill me. There was such hatred and disgust in his expression I hesitated searching the room to see if any other seats were available, siting next to him somehow seemed like a bad idea. Usually I would be more then happy to be lab partners with a good looking guy like Edward, but the way he was looking at me flat out disturbed me.

"Emily, please take your seat now so we can begin class." the teacher said

"Ok." I responded.

I took a deep breath and promised myself that I would not let this boy scare me. Maybe he had heard my conversation earlier and was pissed at me, maybe he was offended at the mere thought of having to sit next to an average looking person like me. Something was wrong with him, but I was just going to have to deal with it I had dealt with bullies before.

It reminded me of fifth grade, there was this boy who sat in front of me and was supposed to pas papers back to me all the time. When he would pass papers back to me he would quickly withdraw his hand and give me a terrified expression like he was afraid he would catch some sort of horrible disease from me. Edward was trying to intimidate me, I wasn't going to let him. I took my seat next to him and dropped my backpack on the floor.

Summoning up my courage I turned to face him, he was holding his nose like a child. "What?" I said in a harsh whisper. Staring into his amber eyes reminded me of that time I had stared into the eyes of a panther at the zoo. Much like the panther everything in his eyes said he wanted to kill me, unlike the caged panther I doubted that he and any real reason to do so. The teacher prattled on about biology but my eyes were still locked with Edwards.

"Listen I'm sorry my presence offends you so much but there aren't any other seats." I said. I was scared but in the face of a bully you could show no fear of weakness, so I leaned in closer to him "Deal with it."

I blinked and he was gone. For a moment I felt almost dizzy because my brain could not process what was going on. I blinked again and he still wasn't there, what had happened to him. My ears reacted before my eyes as I heard a series of sickening cracks, that made all of my muscles tense up in disgust. It was like the quick series of pops you heard when someone cracking the bones in their spine, only a million times worse. I turned my head to see a room full of bodies, collapsed on the ground as if asleep. They were dead, I knew that they were all dead. Something was going on but I couldn't quite put it together, things were just happening too fast.

With another sickening crack the teachers neck had been snapped by something moving in a blur. In a second of clarity I realized that Edward Cullen was that blur. He had just killed my entire biology class in less then a minute, and I for some unknown reason I was the last left alive. He turned his attention to me.

In those final moments before death amidst more chaos then I even could have ever imagined myself being in of three things I was certain.

1. Edward Cullen was not human
2. Edward Cullen was going to kill me.
3. There was nothing in this sweet ever loving world I could do to stop him.

I started screaming, or maybe I had been screaming for a while. I found that time went strange when the things around you were to horrific to fully process. My brain was trying to give me the only comfort it could in it's confusion, it helped cushion the blow of all the death that surrounded me. All the same I had no doubts that I was going to die.

My scream had only rung out for a few seconds before sharp teeth clamped down on my neck silencing me. The pain was nearly indescribable, my neck was being torn open and something that felt like acid was pouring through my veins. Unrecognizable noises were coming from my mouth; the pain had reduced me to releasing the primal whimperings of an animal, not a human the sounds of human.

The pain was so intense that I couldn't think coherently. Unlike what happened in the movies I did not see my life flashing before my eyes I heard a buzz of words spilling through my own mind as I fought for the ability to think through the pain. I was trying to pray but it wasn't working I couldn't focus on a single coherent thought. I wondered if God could even understand me right now, that he knew if I could think straight I'd be asking him to grant me absolution for my sins, and seek out vengeance on the monster who was now drinking my blood.

Amongst the words zooming through my mind was a single familiar term that I knew held significance, that I knew explained most of what just happened.

Vampire.