Just a series of silly one-shots that take place after my fics "Trust and Dangerous Games" and the explicit smut-fic I posted on AO3 "At Captain Law's Mercy." Definitely read that first one beforehand.

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece, otherwise you'd be seeing a lot more Law and Nami interaction in the series.

Back Scratches

"Nami-swan~" Sanji sang out, pirouetting with joy as the navigator returned to the ship, arms full of navigational books and equipment. She'd been on the Heart Pirates' submarine for the past few days; she'd made a deal with Law where she'd help Bepo improve his cartography skills in return for letting her gather data on underwater currents with their equipment. Unfortunately, that meant that Sanji had spent the past few days in a foul mood, screaming about how "those shitty bastards had better not take advantage of her" and anxiously waiting for the yellow submarine to surface and return the beautiful redhead. "Welcome back! Did you pine for me? Would you like some sandwiches of love for breakfast? Perhaps some fresh-squeezed juice?"

"Thanks, Sanji-kun," she replied, nodding gratefully as Law used his powers to teleport her things into the library. Her voice was gravelly and strained, causing Chopper to frown with concern.

"You don't sound so great. Did you get laryngitis?"

Faint shadows under her eyes caught Sanji's attention. "You look exhausted, Nami-swan. Those shitty Heart Pirates didn't do anything untoward, did they? If anyone's dared try to corrupt your delicate purity, I'll kill them!"

A faint blush dusted her cheeks as she caught Law smirking out of the corner of her eye. "I'm fine. I was just up late last night. Bepo's really improved at cartography, though, so it's worth it."

Sighing, the blonde cook fawned over her. "You're such a beautiful soul, Nami-swan, helping the shitty captain and his shitty bear with their maps."

Law glowered at the insult to his navigator. "Bepo's maps are fine if you ask me."

"Such dedication to trying to teach their feeble minds! No wonder you sound so hoarse; you've probably been screaming with frustration for days!"

"Oh, she's been screaming with something, all right," the Heart captain said lowly, smirk growing when Nami smacked his chest.

Sanji was too distracted fussing over Nami to register Law's comment. "I'll make you some mikan tea to soothe your throat." He spared a glare at the taller man. "Shitty doctor! You should have been taking better care of her! How could you let Nami-swan strain her lovely voice?"

Gold eyes narrowed in response. "I took care of her just fine. It's her own fault, anyway; I told her not to be so loud, but she doesn't listen."

"It was your fault I was screaming, Tora-o-kun!" the navigator croaked, provoking another devilish grin from the captain.

"Oh, please don't waste any more of your lovely voice on him, Nami-swan. I'll happily wait on you hand and foot so you can recover. That shitty surgeon doesn't understand that such a delicate, perfect flower like yourself should be pampered and protected, not constantly annoyed."

"Nami-ya's far from delicate," Law snorted, "and I'm not the one annoying her with empty flattery and constant hovering. She's a big girl who can take care of herself."

That earned a small smile from the cat thief, but Sanji sneered, "Ha! A creepy bastard like you wouldn't understand the first thing about a woman like her. Let me tell you, if I find so much as a mark on her—"

"Oh, please, finish that threat. I've been looking for a new specimen to dissect."

"Both of you, stop!" Nami growled. "Law, no cutting up my nakama. Sanji-kun," she said, fluttering her eyelashes, "would you make me that tea, please? And perhaps some mikan shaved ice?"

"Of course~" the blonde cook practically sang enthusiastically, hearts filling the air at her cute expression. "My precious Nami-swan may have whatever she wants!"

"Yours?" Law snarled, though Nami quickly shushed him.

Beyond irritated at the love-cook's insults, constant fawning, and general disregard for his (admittedly secret) relationship with the orange-haired woman, the dark doctor clenched his fists to stave off the urge to kill something. Mild pain blossomed where his nails dug into the skin of his palms, and a wicked smirk came to his face.

Spotting the green-haired swordsman lazily watching the commotion, he called out, "Zoro-ya, come spar with me."

He raised an eyebrow but didn't argue at the prospect of taking on the deadly doctor. He'd been wanting to see how he'd fare against the devil-fruit user for a while, especially since his nodachi was a cursed sword. "'Suppose I could use a morning workout."

"Give me a minute to stretch, first; I had a hell of a night, and unlike Black Leg-ya, I don't have the ability to turn into a spineless noodle when a pretty woman's around."

Sanji took a moment to glare at the Surgeon of Death, but froze in place, jaw on the floor, when he saw Law pull off his shirt. It wasn't the fact that he was stripping that was shocking, though; it was the bright red scratches that completely littered his back.

Chopper gasped while Zoro whistled in appreciation. "What happened to you?!"

Law gave Nami a meaningful look, smirking as her face went bright red. "Ah, these? I spent last night getting clawed at by a screaming wildcat."

Horror creeped across Sanji's face as he slowly connected the dots. Zoro was a bit quicker on the uptake and, never one to pass up the chance to mock his rival or tease the witch that tortured him with debt, gave Law a knowing grin. "Looks painful. Did you tame her at least?"

Winking at the mortified redhead, he rolled his shoulders deliberately, saying more to the cook than the swordsman, "Oh yeah. The key is to not go easy and treat her like some delicate flower, otherwise she'll eat a man alive."

"Wow! She sounds dangerous," Chopper said in amazement, eyes wide in innocent admiration.

"Oh, she is, but once I showed her who's boss, she was purring in my arms the rest of the night."

At that, Sanji erupted into flames, charging towards Law with a scream of "Shitty captain! I'll bash your creepy face in!"

Zoro was too busy laughing at Nami's humiliation to care that he wouldn't get that long-awaited spar with Law, who was preoccupied with dodging Sanji's frenzied kicks. Chopper, meanwhile, just looked around confused.

"Is Sanji really that jealous Law got a pet cat?"