Note: Humor/Romance? ROMANCE? Yes, because this is my favorite pairing in all of the fandom, and it gets NO LOVE.  NONE. It doesn't even show HOW they get together (it's just there), but the way it happened must have probably been INSANE. I can't even imagine myself. IT'S CRACK.

This fic may not be as hilariously stupid as the author's note, so don't get your hopes up. This was written at 1 AM.

Deviate from the usual

A OneTwoFiver dot com piece.

Silence

It fell.

Naru shut the door tightly.

--------

"Why me...?" he sighed, oh why did he see that?

After he'd left to lunch and then returned to the office unexpectedly, there was the biggest surprise waiting for him.

--------

After the same event the door clicked shut and Lin adjusted the collar after the unmentioned incident and went his merry way to his own office. No trace of any people having invaded the room and it was deemed peaceful again. One hour later that atmosphere would change for worse or...?

--------

"Well?"

The monk peeked inside.

"Looks like no one's in, Mai."

Mai sighed of relief.

"At least I'll have no boss scolding my lateness again."

The monk raised an eyebrow.

"Just don't call me again when you hurt your ankle after flipping on your bed."

"Hey~ you were the one who brought me here, so don't complain~" she grinned, "my ankle just needs a bit of a rest. I'll be fine in a few hours."

"You sure you don't wanna check up on that?"

Mai shook her head.

"Don't worry I'll be fine."

"Well, then I guess I'll be going."

--------

After the farewell the monk returned to the exit, only to bump into the miko. He didn't go without getting complained at.

"Hey watch out!" She yelled at the bassist.

"Um hi~" Mai stared at the woman; her cheeks were red and her outfit was fancier than usual.

"Ah Mai, you're here..." Ayako's voice revealed a hint of disappointment and it didn't go unnotified by either Mai or the Monk.

"Yeah," Mai frowned a little, and then noted her particularly red lipstick the miko had used, "did you just come from a date?"

"Oh no~," Ayako laughed nervously, "That's not true at all!!"

The monk flirtatiously grinned, though his voice shook nervously.

"Hmm, I think I can call off my job today and appointments here and there... so how 'bout you go out with me now that we're both free...?"

Ayako's face went blank if it showed through the heavily applied make-up. Eyes widening.

Mai almost cheered; she knew the monk had this thing for her. It was almost inevitable they'd get together and in her far away future they'd grow old... fight, love, marry, have children, grandchildren...

"Um no... thanks," she said still shocked.

Mai and Takigawa froze on their spots.

"Oh," the monk replied.

Ayako laughed herself silly.

"Um don't get me wrong, haha."

The girl stared.

"Ah okay," Takigawa gulped, before attempting a carefree grin again, "...well how 'bout tomorrow?"

Mai's face fell flat at the suggestion. How stupid could he be? Or perhaps the truth just didn't hit him yet.

"I'm already taken," she said with a stern face.

The monk's face fell and he stared at her with helpless puppy eyes. Mai started to feel bad for him. Even more so when Ayako huffed, looking away, and pretended not to see his eyes. He couldn't even say anything properly in response.

"Mai, did you see anyone yet?" Ayako said, having regained her posture.

A slightly uncomfortable Mai stared worriedly from the rejected monk, who had taken refuge in a corner, to the red-haired woman.

"Actually… I just came in, Lin is probably in his office, but if you want Naru for something then I think he's out at the moment," Mai replied, "I haven't seen him come out…"

"Well that's all I wanted to know."

The girl stared at the poor monk again.

"Um, do you want some iced coffee with some milk and sugar?"

"....black coffee.... please," the monk said with gloom all written over his voice and face.

"Ah okay," Mai had the greatest desire to give him the biggest hug ever, but since Ayako was being oblivious it seemed better not to, "and what about you?"

"An Earl Grey, please."

When Mai went to the kitchen, she realized she had to leave the two of them alone, which may not be a grand idea. Suddenly she had the greatest idea ever and nearly ran over to her boss' office. Mai knocked twice before peeking in. As usual he was reading a book about whatever was interesting to him.

"Naru, I'm going to serve tea on the table out here, join Bou-san. Please," she forced out the last word with a hint of her chilly nature.

Naru rose from his seat quite immediately, because he needed tea. He was sorely disappointed to find Ayako on the sofa, across Bou-san.

She knocked Lin's door on the way to the kitchen.

"Tea will be done in a few minutes~"

Mai didn't hear a reply, but was satisfied enough that Naru answered correctly. Naru and Ayako would just be annoyed at each other and argue endlessly at how stupid and how bratty they were. At least they'd be lightening the mood after Ayako rejected Takigawa in front of her. Well, she hoped so.

However, when she was in the kitchen she didn't hear anything from the other room. It was so silent you could even hear Naru cough lightly. The penultimate sign of his impatience and disapproval, Mai wept inside of her soul. In the end, Naru and Ayako did not waste one word on the other.

Mai nearly had to cry. Her plan was an utter failure. When she stared at Lin's door for a moment she didn't have much hope for a plan B either. It was not as if he was more social than Naru. Although he wouldn't make it any worse than it already was.

Eventually the tea pot was filled as well as the monk's coffee.

"Lin-san, it's ready~ please join us with Ayako and Bou-san."

She made her way to the table and served the drinks.

Naru was stoic as ever and the monk was visibly depressed. Only Ayako was fidgeting a little, and looked at Mai and smiled weakly.

"I'm sorry Mai, but I think I'll leave now."

Mai almost sighed of relief. The miko seemed to have noticed the uneasiness.

"Ah okay... I'll see you later then."

Ayako got up and was to make her way to the exit, when Lin arrived in the room.

"Wait..."

The miko looked back and widened her eyes in shock. Mai did the same and yelped. At this Naru and Bou-san stared at Lin, specifically Lin's face, blanching immediately.

"There's red lipstick all over!" Mai pointed out, when the man stood there, petrified at their reactions.

The monk stared at the lipstick and had to snort.

"...isn't that Matsuzaki-san's lipstick?"

All eyes were on the doorway.

"Oh crap, why him of all people..." Ayako whispered, as she watched a certain bespectacled boy entering the room.

"Hooh, just as I thought!"

"Ya-yasuhara-san..." Mai couldn't believe the sudden chaos ensuing.

Even more shocking was when Ayako suddenly ran up to Lin with a tissue.

"Sorry I didn't realise I was using a cheap one," she apologized, as she cleaned up the red mess. Lin said nothing to her.

"There it's done," Ayako said nervously.

At this Lin leaned down and kissed her.

Immediately Mai blushed and Naru nearly jumped out of his chair because of the display. The other two watched in awe.

"...mmmh, not here honey, there are children here~" Ayako squirmed a little.

Mai's mouth opened to say something, but her brain was unable to pass over the information to form the words. Since when did Lin and Ayako have that kind of relationship? The miko did seem to like Lin's coolness, but beyond that… she was baffled, but even more that Lin's preference was…

"There's nothing on me now, Ayako?"

"Hmhm, no trace to be seen," the miko replied.

"Let's go," he said as he wrapped an arm around her waist.

"How about your work?" she asked, now shifting her gaze to Naru.

"That's not an issue," he eyed mischievously Naru who was in a shock once again.

At this everyone was rendered speechless. The boy looked away immediately, as if realizing he was looking dumbly at the pair.

Lin took his coat off the rack and left together with Ayako.

--------

Yasuhara took in the environment. From the stunned monk to the grumpy boss.

"...who expected that?"

Naru shook his head, he just need to get used to this unusuality, but he did question Lin's taste in women. Dumbness is not that charming.

A frustrated Mai eyed at her teacup.

"Whoever knew Lin would like someone as vain and noisy as Ayako! I'd thought he'd be into different types than her~! A sensitive woman! Someone like me," she whined.

However, the monk tried hard not to freak out at what just happened. It came out as sobs as first, but no one knew for sure when he started to giggle. Did he have some kind breakdown?

"Are you okay?" Mai quickly gave him a pat on the back, but the monk looked up at her with a stern face.

"Me okay? Did you see Lin's face?" He spoke seriously.

Mai remembered the fiery blush accompanying the lipstick, caught red-handed in a relationship. Takigawa laughed as he slapped Naru on the back as the boss tried to drink his tea. The boy glared at all of them as he found himself coughing.

"Hysterical! That was even more embarrassing than when I got rejected," the monk pinked away a tear. Both Yasuhara and Mai had to smile.

-----------

"Eèeeeh?!"

For weeks, none of them ever heard of the pair again. The monk had gotten over the rejection rather quickly and Yasuhara had been looking into a school exchange abroad. Nothing exciting happened, until Mai came across a letter with no return address. However, when she recognized Lin's neat handwriting, she wasted no time in opening it.

-----------

To whom it may concern,

I've eloped with Ayako.

Lin.

-----------

It was a short, but powerful message.

"Eèeeeh?!" Mai yelled, and Naru stormed into the room.

"What's wrong?"

"They've eloped!"

Naru raised an eyebrow and read the letter. In a daze they just stared at it for a moment. It was definitely Lin's handwriting. Mai unfolded the second letter and frowned. Geez, Lin seriously didn't want her to read this.

"It's in English, and I think it's addressed to you."

"Who else?" Naru replied blandly and took the paper from her.

The girl stared, trying to make out what it said, but miserably failed.

"…what does it say?"

A pensive Naru took the message in, and smirked, "Nothing, it's nothing. It seems like they're joking around."

Then he crumbled up the letters and threw them in the trash can.

--------

To Naru,

You may not want to tell your parents. When they hear this they might replace me with Madoka as your guardian. You don't want that, do you?

Choose wisely.

Lin