Don't even ask me what this is. A four-parter that came to me a while back and I'm ashamed I took the time to write it but it's happened and I'm sharing it. It didn't help I met Sacha Parkinson in June for Amy James-Kelly's project Last Summer in June. A brilliant experience where we spoke a lot to Sacha about the Siophie storyline so this came from it. And uploaded just as Manchester Pride weekend has ended! Oops.

All four parts will be uploaded at the same time.

Enjoy!

"Rosie, where have you put my charger?" I shouted, going over making sure I had everything I needed in my bag before I left. Just one final piece missing.

"How would I know?" she said from the kitchen.

A couple of months I, out of my mind, agreed to finally move out of a parent's house and into my own place but with Rosie. It's still living with family but without the watchful eye of Mum or Dad on us every second.

Living with Rosie wasn't as bad as it sounded. We had our ups and down, of course like any sisters or roommates but for the most part we kept out of each other's hair. Rosie either went out every other night (bringing back Adam every so often made me raise eyebrows on more than one occasion) or on her phone. Most evenings we didn't really speak.

I've spent most my evenings watching films I've seen a thousand times before or some series on Netflix everyone else is.

I'd browsed the odd dating app in my loneliness but nothing enough to make me go ahead with it. I wish I more like Rosie in that sense, the confidence to go and get what she wants is something I wish I had inherited from her.

Something I I wished she'd learn from me? To stop stealing my things.

"You used it last because you're too lazy to fix your own."

"Well, then, it's probably in my room still," she answered.

I groaned, walking over to her room. I was meant to be meeting Sean, Kate and Rana downstairs any minute now. They going to text me when they were outside.

We're going to Pride together this year. My first since Maddie died but we thought it would be nice to go together. Sean had been missing friends to go with for a while and finally got the day off this year. Kate and Rana were still a new couple. One no one saw coming but you could clearly see they were in love and Rana—as well as her family—were embracing her change of life. I don't even know if Rana has labelled herself as anything, I just know she's happy and it shows. I'm so happy for them.

"Are you sure you want to go, Sophie?" Rosie joined me, leaning against the doorframe. "You don't think it'll be weird?"

"No," I shook my head.

Truth be told, I was a little scared. I was scared there would awkwardness between myself and Kate but we were over that really. We still spoke like it never happened. It's not like I was going as a third wheel.

And I was scared everyone would be paired up while the one I wanted to be with was here anymore.

"Look, I going because I deserve to and—"

Just then, my phone buzzed. It was a message from Kate to say they were outside in the car, waiting for me.

"They're outside," I said, locking my phone and putting in my pocket. I quickly picked up my charger and shoved it in somewhere in my bag then zipped it up and threw it on my back. "I'll see you later. Don't burn the place down."

We decided to drive to Gay Village where the event was being held but stay in a nearby hotel for the weekend because it was easier. Sean wanted to make the most of it and by most of it, he means drink more than he's ever serve in The Rovers over the space of two days. As he was our driver, we agreed it was the best idea.

Once we got there, we went straight to the ticket office to get our wristbands. The queue was as long as expected.

"So, what are you looking forward to?" Sean asked me as we waited.

"Just being here really," I said.

He crossed his arms over his chest. "You're not looking for anything while you're here?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, like, what if you meet someone?" he questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"No." I said bluntly.

"No?'

"No."

"No, you're not looking for someone?" he questioned again.

Rana threw her hands in the air, clearly noticing my discomfort. "Sean, she said no!"

"No," I mumbled, shaking my head. "I'm not."

"Why not? You're not ready to move on yet?"

At least that time, he sounded a little more sympathetic.

"Not yet," I thought about it for a second. "I just wanna enjoy this weekend."

"Do you think you'll ever move on?"

"Sean!"

This time it was Kate jumping to my defence.

"Yes," I swallowed hard, answering his final question.

I tried not to look at Kate. What a failed attempt that was. I don't even know why I thought I had a chance with her. Struggling to cope with the loneliness maybe? The first woman to pay me some attention and I ruined it. Grief does things to you as a person. I'm still healing now. But after what happened with Kate, I really am trying to stay away from a new potential relationship. Just for a little longer. I want to know I'm not doing it to fill a hole in my life like I was with Kate. I've had the odd conversation online with girls, don't get me wrong but nothing's gotten off the ground. All happened at the wrong time. So I'm waiting for the right time. I've learned love comes at the most unexpected time.

"When the time is right," I finished.

"Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry."

The first day was as expected, everything checking out what was on offer and getting in their first drinking binge like it was no different to a music festival. The only difference is almost everyone had a flag wrapped around their shoulders. This was my first pride where I'd seen more colour flags representing bisexuals, pansexuals, transgender of all kinds and ones I didn't recognise but no less important than everyone else.

It was then I was certain I'd see a blonde who brought back every memory from my first pride and the sneaking around behind my family's backs just so I could go, with a rainbow flag wrapped around her waist, a man in a red basketball jersey's arm draped over her shoulders, from what I saw, she looked like she was having fun.

It was only from the side as the three I'd come with and I walked through the masses, looking for the exit bit I'd know it anywhere. I admired it enough as she slept.

I tapped Sean on the shoulder and pointed over to where I was looking without saying anything and his jaw almost hit the floor. He still recognised her. He looked back at me in shook and I just pushed him more towards the exit. I couldn't be for certain. It probably was just some random blonde, we all make mistakes, mistaking a stranger for someone else.

Sean called me that night. He felt like he had to apologise for his earlier actions and I quickly accepted it, a slip of the tongue is what I put it down to.

I told him he could come to room if he wanted to talk but he said he'd gotten ready for bed and wasn't sure if I had and that's why he sent a text first.

We chatted for a while but it didn't take long before the conversation turned to what we saw earlier.

"Do you really think it was her?" he asked.

I shrugged to myself. "I don't know."

"I thought she lived in Southport?"

"She did. Last I heard was she was living in London."

"Oh. Wonder what brought her up here then for Pride? Assuming she's gay, that is."

"Or bi," I suggested.

I mean, she was wearing a rainbow flag but that doesn't mean to say she's had encounters with other men since we split.

"Maybe she's going to a few or works for them? Wouldn't surprise me if she has a really cool job."

"What makes you think that?" he pushed.

"London Pride was last month. She could be here on business—why do we care anyway?" I suddenly realised.

"You're the one figuring out why."

"Then stop asking questions! I don't care. We'll probably never see her again."

"You're right could have been some random blonde."

"Exactly," with that, I looked at my watch. "I think I'm going to get some sleep now, Sean."

"Alright, babe. See you in t'morning."

"Night, Sean."

As I hung up all I could think was: what it wasn't though?