Twelve Days 'til Christmas
Day One: Blow
By S.J. Kohl
Zack/Sephiroth/Cloud
PG-13

Summary: The General has never received even a single Christmas gift before, nor truly celebrated Christmas at all. What mayhem do you think ensues when Zack finds out?
Warnings: None that I can think of, for a wonder. Yaoi? ^_^

Author's Note: Yes, this is the same Twelve Days as already posted, just much edited. I was trying to finish it before Christmas, again (hope, vain hope...), and I realized reading through it that it needed a lot of work. Expansion to encompass CC, general editing, and expansion because it was just plain sketchy. Like a rough draft. I've posted it separately instead of just replacing Chapter One in the original because until all 10 chapters already posted are edited, the new ones just won't fit together with the originals. New characters and elements and such. So, posted anew. Sorry for the inconvenience. Anyone wanting to read all 10 posted chapters in their entirety can find them in my works, and everyone else will just have to wait as I edit the others and hopefully still get the whole thing finished by Christmas. Ambitious I know, considering, but I'm still hopeful. And editing doesn't take as long as writing from scratch. And I've already started on Chapter 11, and planned out Chapter 12...

Zack snapped his eyes open and grinned at the pale, cold light seeping in through the window by his bed. Dawn, his favorite time of day, when the sun first crested the horizon, bringing with it new possibilities and new plans. It was early winter, and he could taste snow on the air, even from inside, a gift granted him by the mako sweeping through his veins. Stretching his arms out and arching his back, allowing his muscles to warm up just a little, Zack sat up and gingerly touched his feet to the white tile floor. He sucked in a breath.

Rugs.

He needed rugs. Mako might offer him some protection from the cold—for which he was ever and always grateful—but it did not eliminate the pain of stepping on a floor that felt more like ice than tile. Oh, mountain brats like Cloud Strife might call him soft for it, but Zack was not a mountain brat, and he hated cold floors as much as he loved mornings. Still, Zack thought as he crow-hopped his way to the window, it's gorgeous outside. And it's almost Christmas!

Christmas!

Zack had been so damn busy with this Soldier thing that he hadn't had any time to get ready. And there was nowhere in his tiny apartment to put a proper-size tree, which was, frankly, scandalous. But there was a little tree in his little living room, decorated with brightly colored, homemade ornaments and lights his mother had shipped over from home, so maybe he wouldn't be quite so homesick. But the sight of the yellow, hand-crocheted star his baby sister had made for the top of his tree really only made him miss Christmas at home in Gongaga all the more. Little Alicia, she was turning nine in a few days. And he wasn't going to be there…

Shaking his head and shaking his sweater down over it, Zack grinned. Still, there was a lot to be said for Christmas in Midgar, right? This year he was a Soldier, not a cadet. He'd have the holiday off unless an emergency came up. Angeal had put the request in for him himself, actually. And Zack fully intended to enjoy himself, with his friends—his family.

Zack shoved his feet into his boots and buckled his armor—such as it was—on over his uniform (he couldn't wait until he made First Class and could design his own!) and stuffed his I.D. card into his pocket on his way out the door. No time to wallow in bed today, even if he was on leave for two weeks. He had things to do, Christmas presents to buy! He knew what he was getting for Cloud and for Angeal. He even had an idea about a little something for Genesis, if he could find what he was looking for. He had all his other friends figured out. But he could not, just could not, figure out what to get for the General. And, short on time as he was, there was only one thing left to do, loath though he was to cheat.

Zack sighed, and hung his head just a little. Only one thing left to do, indeed. He was going to have to ask the General what he wanted.

The General, as Zack had suspected, was already up and around, though—admittedly—far from cheerful. Point of fact, he was terrorizing troopers, cadets, and Soldiers alike as he conducted his customary morning inspections of the various barracks, training grounds and rooms, and the few classes already in progress. Which exercise, Zack also suspected, he used to put himself into a more cheerful mood for the rest of the day.

"Morning, Seph!" Zack smiled as he caught up to General Sephiroth in an empty virtual training room on the forty-second floor.

"Lieutenant Fair, I have instructed you at least thirty times to not address me so informally. Must I have you placed on punishment detail again?" Sephiroth growled, running his fingers lightly over the computer equipment in the back of the room, no doubt checking that all was running smoothly and would continue to do so throughout the day. Barring mishap and mayhem, of course.

"I think we're well past ninety at this point, sir," Zack laughed. "Besides, I'm on leave…where's the harm? No one can hear me but you, and I just can't see calling you General Sephiroth all the time. It's too long and stuffy, and everyone needs a nickname! Besides, Seph has a good sound to it."

"A good sound…" Sephiroth shook his head and tweaked one of the controls on the panel before him, adjusting the color content of the virtual system. "I should punish you while you're on leave. You certainly deserve it. However, it would require time and effort on my part, at least in thinking up a suitable punishment, and I don't have any to spare. Instead, I'll come to the point. What are you doing here?"

Zack crossed the room in a series of almost skipping steps and came to a halt at the General's side. "Oh, nothing much. Just a little question for you."

Sephiroth smacked Zack's hand away from the weather panel and glared at him. "So ask."

"What do you want for Christmas?"

Sephiroth blinked. "Christmas?"

"Yeah, Christmas," Zack nodded. "You know, turkey and stuffing and ham and presents, holiday cheer and, oh yeah, presents? I can't think what to get you, and I thought you might have a few ideas I could pick over."

"Lieutenant Fair," Sephiroth muttered, adjusting the buttons on the weather panel himself to encompass the winds common to this area in a winter storm. "I do not celebrate Christmas."

Now it was Zack's turn to blink. "What?"

"I don't," Sephiroth repeated, grinding each syllable to dust between his teeth, "celebrate Christmas."

"Why not?"

Sephiroth sighed and stepped back from the panel, satisfied. However, he was hardly likely to get any more work done until he'd rid himself of the walking aggravation that was Zack Fair. "No time, no family, and no inclination," he ticked the reasons off on his fingers. "Satisfied?"

"No!" Zack burst out. "How can you not celebrate Christmas? Or exchange gifts?"

Sephiroth sighed again. "It's easy to not exchange gifts, Zackary, when you have no one to exchange them with."

"No one's ever given you a Christmas present?" Zack was horrified. And angry.

"No," Sephiroth snarled. "Nor would I want them to. Now are you satisfied?"

"I…" Zack bit his lip and looked away. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess I am. See you later, General. I'm gonna go hit the mess hall and hook myself up with some breakfast."

"You do that, Lieutenant," Sephiroth muttered, scanning the rows of buttons and levers and knobs one last time before turning and heading for the door—the one opposite from the door Zack Fair had disappeared through.

The low, almost inaudible rumble of sound alerted Angeal Hewley to the danger. He reached out and touched his friend, softly, on the shoulder. "Genesis…he doesn't remember."

Genesis jerked away and melted out of the shadows and into the wide, echoing main area of the virtual training room. He kept his eyes on the walls, and well away from Angeal. "That doesn't make it any easier."

Angeal sighed, and shook his head. "I know. Feels like a nice little stab to the gut, doesn't it?"

Genesis just shrugged and wandered, ghostlike, toward the computer panels, twisting dials and pressing buttons at random, perhaps even pulling at a lever or two. "Why does it hurt like this, Angeal?"

"Because," Angeal murmured, stepping forward to drape his arms over Genesis's almost slender shoulders, knowing the smaller man could easily hold his weight. "He's family."

Genesis nodded, one hand clenching so tightly around the contrast lever that the plastic cracked, revealing the metal glinting underneath.

Angeal stepped back and spun to face the rest of the room. "Well," he drew in a slow, deep breath. "I have an idea."

Genesis cocked one rakish eyebrow, fiddling with a few more buttons, a couple more knobs and levers. "Oh?"

"Yes." A smile began its slow journey across Angeal's face. "Come on. Let's get going."

"Hey."

It was a buzz. An annoying hiss of air on air, and hardly a word at all.

Cloud paused and looked behind him. The corridor was empty. Shrugging, he turned and continued walking toward the hallway that would take him to the barracks that held his company of cadets. It was a few hours past dawn, but he was still a little sleepy, and still more than a little dazed. His imagination always played cruel tricks on him when he felt like this. But Cloud had only taken a couple of steps when he heard it again, louder this time.

"Hey. Cloud."

Narrowing his eyes, Cloud stopped, his last step echoing hollowly across the grey walls of the building. This was no hint of breath on air. No, it was a whisper, a deep, husky whisper he suspected he knew all too well. With an inward sigh, Cloud cast his eyes up to the ceiling. He didn't bother looking around again; there wouldn't be anything to see. "What do you want, Zack? And where in all Hell are you?"

A shameless chuckle in response, then…

Cloud's eyes widened slightly as a gleaming silver vent cover was shifted out of its place among the white ceiling tiles and Zack's head slid through the gap, bright violet eyes peering mischievously--upside down--at Cloud.

"How did you even know I was walking by here?" Cloud asked, not quite daring to risk the question he really wanted answered--why in the godforsaken world was Zack crawling around in the ventilation system in the first place?

Zack grinned. "Hey, come on, Spike. I'd know your footsteps anywhere."

"Umm…I don't think that's really a compliment. More like…stalking, I guess."

Zack didn't say anything. He just kept beaming that blinding grin down at Cloud as the blood filled his face, lending him a strangely attractive red flush.

Cloud cleared his throat and looked away, probably flushing a little himself. "Zack, what do you want?"

Zack's eyes gleamed, and the grin turned sneaky, slippery. "Come up here."

"What?!"

"Come. Up. Here."

"Why?" Cloud's voice was flat, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. Any plan of Zack's was bound to get him in trouble. The last great idea Zack had come up with had almost gotten Cloud court-martialed. The only thing that had saved him had been the General's interference.

"Because I need your help, Spike. I'm in a bad way, here!"

"I can see that, of course, but…Zack…"

"Oh, come on, Cloud, it's for a good cause…" Zack's eyes were wide and intentionally innocent, his voice soft and coaxing.

Cloud was getting a headache. "I don't want to know."

"It's for the General."

Disbelieving silence. "The General asked you to crawl around in the ceiling?"

"Well, no…not exactly."

"Zack…" Cloud tried, again, to tell Zack he was leaving, that he could not get involved in whatever Gods-damned scheme Zack had gotten himself stewed in this time, but then footsteps were echoing from around the corner at the end of the hall. Before Cloud could even blink, Zack was leaning down, his strong hands seizing Cloud beneath his arms and jerking him upwards and through the gap in the ceiling tiles.

When the vent cover was safely back in place and the footsteps had faded into the distance, Zack turned to Cloud, his mako-bright eyes gleaming in the darkness. "Thanks."

"For what?" Cloud whispered, desperation making his words razor sharp, and slightly shrill. "I don't want anything to do with this!"

"Aww, sure you do, Spike."

"No. Really, I don't."

"But…Sephiroth. I just found out a few hours ago, Cloud."

Despite himself, Cloud found his interest growing at the mention of Sephiroth's name and the almost melancholy tone of Zack's voice. But he wasn't going to ask. He wasn't. Cloud ground his teeth together. "What about Sephiroth?"

At that, Cloud could feel the satisfied grin spreading across Zack's face. "Well…" Zack drawled, and there was real concern beneath that nonchalant murmur. "Sephiroth's never celebrated Christmas before, never even been given a single present. Can you believe that?"

"Um…" Cloud said.

"I know, right? Anyway, so I had an idea I wanted to do something for him this year. Something special, so he knows we love him. That somebody loves him." Zack's voice grew quiet, husky. "Will you help me?"

Cloud bit his lip. No Christmas? Life in Nibelheim had been hard growing up. He and his mother had been something like outcasts, after all, but his mother had tried hard, and even Cloud had had Christmas trees and little gifts and her. Sephiroth was cold. Cloud had thought so since he'd first gotten here and really met the man, but it hadn't occurred to him that Sephiroth, having grown up in ShinRa Company, wouldn't have had any of those things. No wonder he was cold. Not just because of Christmas, of course, but because, well…everyone needs someone to care about them, maybe even think to bring them a gift every once in a while. Cloud took a deep breath. He would do anything for General Sephiroth. Really. Yes, he would even allow himself to be dragged into yet another of Zack's half-cooked conspiracies. "Yeah." Cloud licked his lips. "I'll help."

"Great." There was some shuffling and the clang of something heavy against the metal of the ventilation pipe they were sitting in. There was a click, and the ethereal white light of a small flashlight filled the small space. Zack grinned.

Cloud gulped reflexively.

"Sephiroth's office is that way," Zack murmured, pointing over Cloud's shoulder, knowing navigating the ventilation system was a lot different from navigating the hallways themselves. He fished around in his back pocket for a moment, then held something small up to the light.

Cloud groaned when he saw what it was. It was bubblegum. A small pack of strawberry bubblegum wound around with a bright blue ribbon. "That's your gift for the General? Bubblegum?"

"Well," Zack shrugged, a little sheepish. "The first one. I didn't have much time to get this together, and this was the only thing I really had close at hand. I'm thinking we should give him twelve gifts in all, you know, like the Twelve Days of Christmas song? One each day 'til Christmas gets here. Seems like a plan, right? If we can think of twelve, that is. Hell, I couldn't even think of one this morning! But…I was thinking that maybe we should give him things he's never had before. He has plenty of shiny gadgets, but I'm pretty damn sure he's never had something as simple as a pack of gum before. It's different, you know? Fun…" Zack's voice trailed off into nothing as he stared at Cloud through the vague light of the flashlight. "Uh…what do you think?"

Cloud shrugged. "As good and suicidal an idea as any, I guess." He squinted and leaned closer to Zack. There was a tiny slip of paper attached to the gum. "What's the note say?"

Zack smiled smugly. "I'm not going to tell you."

"Zack!"

"No way, Spike. You take me for an idiot? If I tell you, you'll make me re-write it, and I only just figured out what I wanted it to say…"

"Fine," Cloud muttered, annoyed. "What do you need me for?"

"Well," Zack drawled again, shifting nervously and causing a scraping, ringing sound that practically made Cloud's ears bleed. Oooooh, someone was going to hear them for sure. "Seph's not in his office right now. In fact, he took a chopper out a couple hours ago, headed out to check on…well, something, I imagine. The point is, we can deliver this now, but we can't go through the door because the secretary will never let us in if Seph's not there and I don't want to cause a big fuss or leave it at the front desk. He won't like a lot of attention; it'll only piss him off and I'm already on his bad side today. Now, there's an easy solution for all that. Problem is, I'm too big to fit through the vent into his office, so, uh, I need you to drop down and stick it on his desk for me."

Cloud didn't answer for a long time. Finally, he shifted slightly, just slightly. "Let me get this straight, Zack. You want me to break into the General's office, mess with his desk, and leave him notes that are probably covered in insulting, even suggestive messages?"

"Yup."

"All right." Cloud sighed and held out his hand. For Sephiroth. He would do this for Sephiroth. And if the General killed him…well, he was bound to die sometime anyway, right? Cloud smiled. "Hand it over."

Zack just grinned.

Sephiroth closed the door of his office slowly behind him and stood, silently, just inside the doorway. He was exhausted. The inspections, the flight, the mission… He wanted to crawl into his bed and call for a masseur. Sadly, however, he still had a full afternoon of work ahead of him. Sephiroth took a breath. And froze. Someone had been in his office, and it hadn't been his secretary. Scanning the room carefully, Sephiroth's eyes missed nothing, and yet, nothing was so much as a millimeter out of place.

But…the air smelled different. Amid the ever-present hint of leather and metal and the clinical scent of industrial cleaning products was a faint touch of…vanilla and cinnamon?

Sephiroth nodded, relaxing marginally. That smell was a familiar one, though he'd met the cadet it belonged to a scant few times since the boy had arrived here. Cloud Strife. No Turks, none of Hojo's sniveling operatives. Not even his secretary with more paperwork for him to look over.

Then sense reasserted itself.

Cloud Strife had been in his office. Sephiroth let out an almost soundless sigh. If Cloud Strife was involved, there could hardly be a doubt as to who was behind the intrusion. He'd thought he was finished with Zack Fair for the day…

Trepidation flaring in his stomach despite his cool, collected appearance, Sephiroth strode across the room to his desk and settled himself determinedly in the leather chair. Whatever Cloud had been doing in his office, he didn't want to know, and he hoped he would never have to find out. Perhaps if he ignored the entire thing, it would just…go away. Breathing out a short, hot breath and brushing a strand of silver hair from his eyes, Sephiroth reached for the stack of hated paperwork that was always waiting for him. He glanced at the surface of his desk, searching absently for a pen, but there wasn't one.

Suppressing an irritated growl, Sephiroth pulled back the drawer to his left, but when he stuck his hand inside, his fingers encountered something smooth, rectangular, and…Sephiroth frowned…slightly squishy.

So.

This was what Cloud had been doing in his office.

Sephiroth pulled the object out.

And stared. It was a blindingly pink package scrawled with green lettering and wrapped with a blue ribbon tied into a crude bow. Sephiroth arched an elegant eyebrow as he untied the ribbon and set it aside with the note. He read the lettering on the little package. Bubblegum? Children's bubblegum? What in Odin's name…

Brows furrowing in confusion, Sephiroth flipped the note over and studied Zack Fair's untidy scrawl. Don't ask, just blow.

Sephiroth stared. Don't ask…

And he remembered the conversation he'd had with Lieutenant Fair this morning…and groaned. Obviously Lieutenant Fair had completely missed the point, and now…now he must feel some sort of, of pity, for Sephiroth.

Sephiroth growled. He was going to murder them both. Yes. That was exactly what he was going to do.

But the fingers of his left hand toyed with the smooth material of the bubblegum package, ripping the seal even as red images of Zack, slashed from groin to shoulder and bleeding profusely flashed and rippled through his mind.

Absently, almost reflexively, Sephiroth popped a piece of chewy, tart-sweet gum into his mouth, crumpling the waxy white wrapper in his fist.

He chuckled, and smiled a tight little smile.

Christmas, indeed.