Repudiation

He sat there on his knees, battered and beaten, his body drained of magic energy, his heart in tatters. The smoking battlefield smouldered around him, the aftermath of it thick and fresh in his memory. His mind felt clouded, his vision obscured, still trying to accept the fact of what had just transpired before him. He had caught the glimpse of pink hair, he had heard her scream, he saw the spatters of her blood, and locked in his own battle, he couldn't get there in time to help her.

Jellal was shaken from his confoundment when warm, comforting arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him close, and his burning eyes fluttered closed momentarily, breathing in the familiar scent, feeling the heat from her skin, the softness of her hair and he leaned into her slightly.

"She's gone, Erza," he stated, still not wanting to believe it, his throat tight. His hazel orbs blinked open and he stared straight ahead of him, eyes unfocused, his surroundings distorted and blurred.

"I know," the redhead replied in almost a whisper, her voice trembling.

"She's really gone," the blue haired mage choked, unrelenting water began stinging his eyes. "I couldn't protect her… she was just… I cannot accept it…" The images of the young, pink haired woman being surrounded by Alvarez shoulders flashed through his mind. The relentless attacks on her, Jellal being overwhelmed in his own battle, and desperately trying to reach the girl in time, but he didn't make it. Meredy was thrown back by a powerful blast of magic. The impact had killed her instantly. Jellal was certain she hadn't felt any pain. He had tried to ignore the agonizing wails of Juvia as she and Gray had taken Meredy's body away.

Erza tugged him closer to her and held him with ease. "It wasn't your fault, Jellal. A war zone is a dangerous place to be. You were fighting your own battle, and Meredy was caught up in the blast of her own battle. You couldn't have done anything. You may have very well lost your life too had you been there. " Jellal felt Erza's body shudder against him, and the lump in his throat continued to build.

"Better mine than hers..," Jellal retorted, his voice sounding just as dead as he felt inside. Meredy had been like a sister to him, and they had worked together and fought together for so many years, that she was very special to him. Losing her had been even harder than losing Ultear.

"She was so young, Erza… I watched her grow up from a small child to a young woman. She had so much life ahead of her. I told her not to go and fight on the front lines, and she didn't listen to me. She thought she could handle it… if only I had known. If only I had gotten there in time… Meredy might be…" Jellal attempted to hold back a sob, and his breath hitched.

Erza sighed and rubbed her face against his soft, blue spokes. "One life isn't better taken than another, Jellal… yours included. It was just her time. She's at peace. She's with Ultear now."

Jellal's heart clenched painfully in his chest, and he lost the war with his emotions as the silent tears that had finally made their escape, snaked their way down the sides of his face. They made their descent, one after another, landing on Erza's bandaged arm and soaking through the bandages. "How will I ever forgive myself for this, Erza?"

Erza tried to hold back the tears in her own eyes as she pressed her lips softly against his temple in a soft kiss. "It's not about forgiving yourself, Jellal. Meredy passing on isn't your fault. Meredy also wouldn't want to see you suffering. She'd want you to move on, live your life to the fullest and be happy."

Jellal accepted Erza's comfort and lay his head on her shoulder. "Am I truly allowed such happiness, Erza?"

Erza raked her nails softly against the heavenly body mage's scalp. "You are, Jellal. Just like everyone else in the world is. You're no exception to the rule."

Jellal turned his face into Erza's neck and buried it. She didn't mind the feeling of the warmth of his tears on her skin and she tucked him into her as best she could, holding him as tightly as she could as if she were holding him together by her embrace alone, and let him grieve. "I'm at a loss on how to handle this… I don't know if I can do this alone."

The requip mage kissed the top of his head. "You're not alone. I'm here for you."

Jellal paused, taking another shuddering breath. "I remember… You said that to me once before…"

Erza nodded her head against his. "And what I said still stands. Nothing has changed, except for maybe my feelings are stronger now than they were back then."

"Thank you, Erza…"

And there Jellal and Erza sat, two grieving, battle-worn mages, wrapped in each other's embrace, on what was left of the battlefield.