Heart
This is my challenge fic, it is a series of scenes about Elizabeth and Henry through the years based on a song.
Heart, my boy's got heart.
He's got a fearless way and he's all that I'm not.
Elizabeth McCord was trying to stay brave, but it was a struggle. Her husband of only a year was now abroad fighting for their country. She had been doing pretty well distracting herself with her work at the CIA, her new friends Isabelle and Juliet had been a fantastic help. They were all new together and were all dedicated and enthusiastic about the work.
However, working for the CIA caused one serious problem, she had knowledge of all the activities in Iraq and now knew that one of the planes in Henry's unit had been shot down on a mission. What really concerned her was that on finding this out Conrad had decided she should be taken off the desk to ensure that she didn't compromise mission integrity. She had been sent home to ensure that George and Juliet could find the details but, in reality, she realised she was waiting for the Marine chaplain to turn up, and that thought freaked her out.
Henry was much braver than she was, he had told her before he left that nothing would happen and that if it did, he would die serving his country like he wanted too. She had nearly hit him for that statement, if that's what he had wanted then why they hell had he insisted they got married in the first place. However once they'd finished their 'discussion' or full blown fight as Elizabeth remembered it, she had realised that he was simply not as scared as she was. He wasn't scared of fighting, not scared of dying and had no fear of what would come after death. She realised that his faith wasn't just words but he really lived by it. He had a heart for what he was learning and lived what he believed and Elizabeth found that really quite scary.
Dreams, I'm a girl with dreams.
Ever since she had met Henry she had realised that he was the other half of her whole.
All her life she had clamoured for people to simply notice her. Her father was always commenting that he wanted sons and when Will had come along he had got his way. From that point on, Elizabeth had to fight for any attention. As she grew up, if she was honest she didn't notice that fact, but once her parents were gone she suddenly became aware of the fact that she had been fighting for attention for years.
Then once they had died, Elizabeth retreated into a world of dreams. Oh she didn't mean too, but it happened. She went away to school and met some amazing people, Joey came to mind. Someday he would be the king of his country and that amazed her. In her dreams she had a loving husband, a family and a fantastic house and she wouldn't make her children clamour for her attention. She had even got to the point of picturing her husband and her children and when she met Henry she just knew. She fell in love with him so quickly it had shocked her to the core. They'd had an incredible romance, and now married a year her dreams were of a child but for that to happen her fearless 'fly boy' would have to come home safe. He had survived this scare, the chaplain had not arrived at their door and she had spoken to him. However the fact that someone in his squadron had been killed made Elizabeth even more fearful for her Henry.
I've got a book full of songs and he's coming with me.
Elizabeth listened to 'their song' play on the radio. It was strange to have a song when he hadn't even heard it with her. However on one call they'd had when the line was poor and her heart was fearful, the song was playing in the background and when she had put down the phone, she wound back the tape and listened over and over again to the lyrics.
Now, without her intervention, it was on the radio as she waited to pick Henry up from the base. He had arrived home two days previously and was debriefed and given a full medical. She and the other families had been told they could come today and pick up their loved ones. Elizabeth had made the offer for Henry's parents to be here but his mother had laughed gently and said that this was their time and they should come visit soon. So here she was, the carpark was full, children were running around and everyone was waiting for the gates to open. The song built to its crescendo and suddenly the metal gates opened and there he was. She stepped out of the car, waved to him and then broke in to a run as she moved towards him. He was home, and he was hers, and they would live their lives together now.
Long nights, long roads, start to wonder if we'll ever feel at home.
After it all, I thank God you're holding me.
Elizabeth walked through the extremely cold rooms of the new farmhouse they had just purchased. They had chosen the stupidest time of year to move to rural Virginia, winter, to be specific a snowy winter. She was very excited at the prospect of moving but it was also a complete leap in the dark. She had given up the job that she loved because on principle she couldn't follow the lead of her government. She suspected that she was the only person in the history of the CIA to do such a thing.
They had arrived in Virginia in the middle of the biggest snow storm which had naturally cut the power to their rural idyll. They had put the kids to bed all together, pushing a couple of beds together and setting up their sleeping bags to 'camp' in the bedroom to keep warm. Henry had even rigged a sheet from the ceiling to make the bed look like a tent.
Now she and Henry were now trying to lock up the house and prepare for bed themselves. She was wearing at least three layers on every part of her body, including socks and gloves. Henry was being annoyingly warm, he was wandering slowly as if the summer sun were coming through the window. He had no gloves on at all and she assumed he would be wearing shorts if he could find them in their packed boxes. He grabbed hold of her from behind and she jumped and squealed. He nuzzled her neck and she turned in his arms. Her gloved hand made its way to his cheek and she smiled at him.
"Are you not cold?" She asked smiling.
"No, you keep me warm." He moved his hands up her back and she could feel them making their way through the layers of clothing.
"Absolutely not Captain, the only way you are going to get my clothes off is in a warm bed." She tried to take a step back from him but he held tight.
"Are you happy babe?" He asked suddenly.
She looked up at him, "More than happy, we're home and we are both here. We are going to love it here Henry, I promise."
"Then let's get you in to that warm bed eh?"
"Yeah, let's go, we'll check on the kids then the rest of the night is ours."
She pulled him by the hand up the stairs, glancing in to the room they had left the kids. They righted Jason who constantly moved in his sleep and was almost off the mattresses. Henry then lead her from that room to theirs. There were boxes everywhere except the bed and within a short space of time they were both together in the bed, warming each other up.
Broken hearts, broken bones, some days I've never felt so alone.
After it all, I thank God you're holding me.
What a weekend for Henry to be off to Cairo. If it was going to go wrong it did go wrong. From the minute she dropped Henry at Dulles airport, she was putting out fires trying to deal with the kids.
Firstly, she had received a call from Stevie on her daughter's brand new cell. Stevie was so emotional that Elizabeth could barely make out a word. Elizabeth had to pull over and attempt to stop Stevie from sobbing and only once she had calmed her down did she make out the word 'jerk' and the phrase 'my life is over'.
Stevie was usually the dramatic one out of her three children, and this was obviously going to be one of those occasions. Her 15-year-old daughter had been involved in her first 'real' relationship, as Henry had dubbed it, much to his disgust. Anyway, neither of them had liked the boy in question and it appeared that their dislike had been an accurate view of him. Elizabeth had eventually got the story that involved the dance the night before at school and Stevie's boyfriend kissing someone other than Stevie. Yes, in a teenagers' world life was over, and Stevie did not take too well to Elizabeth's placating, 'there are plenty more fish in the sea'. Apparently, that was not the appropriate mom response and Stevie had spent the rest of the weekend thumping around the house, banging doors and listening to very depressing music.
However, Elizabeth didn't have much time to deal with her firstborn's emotions as she had ended up in the emergency room with Alison on Saturday morning. They had been told at the start of the school year that Alison was 'a natural' at soccer and she should be allowed to play with the team which included students in the year above her. Both Elizabeth and Henry had been a little concerned given the size and, dare she say politely, competitiveness of the older girls. However, Alison had really enjoyed the skill and athleticism she needed and had risen to the challenge. Her arm, on the other hand, had not risen far enough and had been painfully fractured while playing a match with the local rivals. It had been at the point where Alison had been slowly walked off the pitch that Elizabeth's fears for her children's safety almost overwhelmed her.
And to make matters worse, Henry was nowhere to be seen, off in Cairo at the request of the NSA, to make initial contact with a religious professor they were worried about. Much to both their surprise, when Henry had been contacted he was allowed to tell her about the mission. She hoped it went well, but not too well, she enjoyed her life out of the spy world. Henry had written several books which were big sellers, well for his line of work, and they were both very settled back at UVA where they had first met. She had no desire for either of them to be pulled back into the world of service to the government that they had left.
So, this weekend, Elizabeth was left with one heartbroken teenager and one with a cast, lots of pain and a high level of pain medication. All that was left was her little boy, Jason was almost six and his birthday was next week. This weekend was supposed to be the time for buying the laughy string and his present, neither of which had been purchased. Fortunately, George and Isabelle had offered to come over Monday after class to take the kids for dinner and thus allowing Elizabeth to get everything she needed. For now, she was content to walk between the three children's rooms and be ever thankful that, for most her life, she didn't have to do this alone, she had Henry to hold her.
When I'm run down, and I'm feeling hopeless
She hated being ill and usually could get through anything, but this flu was knocking her for six.
As Elizabeth lay in their large bed sneezing and coughing she felt completely miserable, and to make it worse, it was Christmas.
Elizabeth loved Christmas. She had not been a fan when alone in her teenage years but now, now she loved every minute. She could hear the family in the room below, listening to Christmas music, singing along when they knew the words, the noise of Jason's new car racing game above the other sounds every so often.
She couldn't stop the tears from falling from her eyes. Logically she knew she had to be in bed, in fact she had almost fallen over when she had got up earlier in the day, but still she wanted to be down the stairs.
Elizabeth had just got herself really worked up, with tears streaming down her face making her nose even stuffier and increasing the pounding in her head, when she heard several sets of feet coming up the stairs. She tried desperately to pull herself together before her family would join her, but it was all in vain, as soon as they opened her door they could see she was upset.
The kids jumped on the bed beside her, all trying to hug her and comfort her. Henry came to the side of the bed and kissed her on the forehead. Unfortunately all of the sympathy had the opposite effect than they hoped as she began sobbing uncontrollably.
"Mommy, are you ok?" Jason asked quietly, he was still young enough to resort to Mommy from mom if he was worried.
Elizabeth tried to stop her crying but could only grab her son by the waist and cuddle him and allow Henry to answer for her, it didn't surprise her that he had accurately worked out what was wrong.
"Your mom is fine buddy, but she always wants Christmas to be special and she is missing seeing you all play with your new toys. But that's why we are here to cheer her up, right?"
"Yup" Stevie announced, bouncing on the bed. "Here we brought the Muppets Christmas Carol with us so we can watch it like we always do." Stevie stated producing the well loved movie and got up to play it on her parent's TV.
"We brought popcorn too mom." Alison added.
Suddenly Elizabeth found herself surrounded by her children, the bustle of Christmas, the music of her family's favourite movie and the arms of her husband. She didn't need anything else.
When all the ones we love are so far away
The underground bunker she had been placed in by Javani's security detail was not soundproofed. It was obviously better than being outside in the open but she could still hear gunfire and the occasional bomb, in fact when they landed the room shook.
She was being treated by someone who had medical knowledge, but the manner of the person suggested he was not a trained doctor. She had not realised that she had been cut and felt no real pain, given the circumstances she was intelligent enough to realise that she was in shock.
All she wanted was to get back in touch with her family and especially with Henry. She couldn't understand why the people in the bunker weren't in touch with the outside world. She suspected they just didn't want any word of the bunker to get out before they had dealt with the coup.
She was alive but she feared that her family would have been told that she had been attacked. She was stupid to have taken such a small detail and to only have Fred in the house. She should have known better especially when Russell had told her that Munsey had called someone here in Iran.
Fred was dead, Javani was dead. She took a deep breath and finally felt the pain rip up her back where the man was attempting to clean her wound.
All she needed was Henry, holding her, loving her, but she was here and her love was somewhere so far away.
When I've forgotten what makes it all worth it
You're holding me up, you're reminding me.
"We're ok aren't we?" She had asked him while lying in the hospital bed having suffered her panic attack. He had tried to reassure her but she was so freaked out she was struggling to believe him.
Elizabeth had always been in control in her life, well ever since her parents had been ripped from her life and she'd had to look after her little brother. She had barely let emotion take her then and she hated that she could feel her emotions losing control now. She couldn't look Henry in the eye, too afraid of seeing someone who may not want her anymore. The thought was ridiculous even in her mind, but her biggest fear was that Henry would stop wanting her. He was her life and her rock and she couldn't lose him. But sometimes, like now, things went on in their lives and she felt that being shaken. She had to get through this.
The day had been a spectacular disaster, she had fallen apart at work, had to be removed by her detail and then had a strange conversation with Russell.
Finally lying in her bed after telling Henry all about Abdul, she was starting to feel her emotions coming under control, at least a little. She had always tried to convince her kids to talk to her about their problems but it had been a bit like 'do as I say, not as I do'. She rarely opened up to anyone else except Henry and not talking to him had played havoc with her mind.
Henry moved beside her and she shuffled into his embrace as he gently wrapped his arms around her stomach. She sighed deeply and let herself be surrounded by his familiar scent and the sound of his breathing. She had almost lost sight of this in her mission to save the peace talks and then in her quest to hide from Henry. She relaxed into his embrace grateful that she had him to come home too.
"Babe….you ok?" Henry mumbled from behind her.
"Mmmm yeah….just thinking."
"What about?" Henry asked, clearly more awake now.
"That I'm glad you are here with me and I'm sorry for shutting you out."
Henry squeezed her tight. "I'm very glad you are here with me too and you didn't mean to shut me out. It'll take time babe but you are on the right track now and I'll always be here listening, waiting and loving you, just like I promised on our wedding day, ok?"
Elizabeth nodded, and turned in his arms. She reached her hand up to trace his face, she could just make out his dark features in the dark room. "I love you Henry."
"Me too babe, never forget that."
She stretched her neck and her lips touched his as she gently kissed him. She moved back, "Thank you for holding me up, I can't do this without you."
"You don't have too, ever."
"Good." Elizabeth snuggled into her husband's arms and for the first time in over a week drifted off to sleep. The only thing in her head was a positive thought;
Thank God you're holding me.
AN: Hope whoever requested this likes it. It has been hard to write this month as my Dad died and that has, unsurprisingly, taken a lot of my energy and emotions so I hope this story is ok. I hope everyone who celebrates Christmas has a great time. I look forward to seeing season 3, hoping for a January start here in the UK but no-one is saying anything. Have a great holiday folks.