Anthy had been in the outside world for a few months now, but crowds still scared her. The people milled around her, their faces blending into one another. Something brushed against her and she jolted, raising her hand to her face to block what she felt certain had to be an oncoming sword. But no, it was simply a man hurrying past her. Of course it was. Outside Ohtori Academy, nobody used swords anymore.
It was one of the many surprising changes the world had gone through while she'd been away. She felt like she had been running alongside everybody, but she'd tripped and they'd all left her behind. Now she was struggling to catch up.
She took the roses and threaded her way back to the cash register, forcing a smile. She'd gotten the job at the flower shop a little over a month ago. It had been like a miracle. She had no papers, no credentials, no work experience, almost no proof she even existed. She told people that she'd attended Ohtori Academy, but no one had ever heard of it.
"Why don't you just go back there?" A potential employer had sneered in a fit of frustration after receiving her non committal answers. Anthy had lowered her eyes, clenched her hands together and made a quick exit, muttering "sorry to bother you." Sometimes she wondered if she had changed at all.
But the man who ran the flower shop had looked her up and down and hired her right away. His gaze had been one all too familiar to her, the kind of gaze that crawled up you, the kind that wanted to crawl inside you. But a job was a job and she needed one if she wanted to survive long enough to find Utena.
She had no idea where to start with that. "Wait for me"- She'd spoken with such confidence, but really, what did she have to go on? The outside world was so much bigger than she remembered. She wondered if Utena felt as lost as she did. Probably not..
The roses were for two giggling teenage girls. Anthy handed them over and she wondered vaguely what the boys they were planning to give them to would do with them. Would they treasure them? Or would they just throw them away?
"So pretty," one girl reached out to grab the stems, but the other girl slapped her hand.
"Careful! There are thorns," she admonished.
"There always are," Anthy heard a voice behind her so oily it seemed to drip down her neck. She froze. Her employers "subtle hints" had been getting less and less subtle lately. She accepted the money from the girls and gave them change back, feeling the man's eyes on her the whole time. As the girls walked away from the counter, swinging their newly bought bouquets in their hands, Anthy wanted to shout for them not to leave.
She refused to turn around and face the man, focusing on adjusting the collection of single-stem flowers displayed on the counter. His breath rustled her hair.
Finally, the man sighed. "Okay, you know what? It looks like you're the kind of girl who can't take a hint. I've had enough playing around. Let's go out tonight."
A command, not an invitation.
Anthy tucked her hair behind her ear and did her best to keep her voice steady. "I'm sorry sir, but I think it would be best if we kept our relationship professional.
She still wasn't looking at him, but she could feel his gaze darkening.
"You little tease," his voice came out surprisingly loud. The girls with the roses turned at the door, their eyes wide.
"You're lucky to have this job, you know that? You can't just string me along. You want to keep working here, you'll do as I tell you."
Anthy felt like a weight had descended on her shoulders. It always came down to that, didn't it?
She turned around sharply. The quick movement startled her employer and he jumped back a little.
"Fine," she said. "Then I will quit."
Placing the rose on the counter, she began her stiff, deliberate walk out of the store. The two girls at the door watched her approach with their mouth hanging open.
"That's…well, go ahead!" the man sputtered behind her. His voice hurt her ears. "See how you do without me! No one will hire a girl like you! You're not good for anything else!"
The girls moved aside for Anthy. She walked though the doorway, the glass pane swung shut behind her and his voice was muted.
Her shoulders slumped as she stood alone on the sidewalk.
It hadn't paid particularly well, but without that job, she didn't really have anything to show for herself. She hadn't wanted to admit it, but on some level getting a job had been about proving something to herself…and to Utena. She wanted to be able to face Utena and say "Oh yes, and I'm working to support myself."
Look at me! I'm making it all on my own! I have adjusted so well! I am a completely different person from the one you knew! Independent! Open to change! Strong! Aren't you impressed with me, Miss Utena? Let me buy you a drink.
She'd also wanted to prove it to him. She had left him behind, but somehow he still loomed over her. She'd wanted to prove she could be something more.
But it didn't matter where she was, she was the Rose Bride and people wanted her to serve them. She might as well go back to Ohtori. It was all the same. What did she have to offer this world?
You're not good for anything else.
She took off her hat and wadded it up in her hands. No. She couldn't think like this. She was here to start a new life. She'd start a new life with Utena. She couldn't give up. Utena had found her after all. It was her turn.
Where could Utena be? Was she trapped somewhere? In the hospital? Scared? Alone?
Maybe she was just living as a normal girl.
Maybe…she wouldn't even remember Anthy.
The thought was like a sickness. She could just imagine staring into Utena's eyes and seeing nothing- no recognition. Utena would just laugh at this pleading pathetic girl who couldn't even get hired at a flower shop.
"Um… Miss? Are you okay?"
Anthy started. The two girls from the flower shop had approached her and they were looking at her with concern. She blinked at them.
"I think that was pretty cool, what you did back there," said the shorter girl. She had a chubby face and a sweet smile. "That guy was a creep, but you didn't let him push you around."
"Yeah, you really showed him!" said the taller girl. She was sort of gangly, and her hair was in a ponytail.
"Did I?" Anthy said faintly. "I don't really think…I mean, I just left. I didn't really do anything."
It wasn't anything impressive like what Utena would have done. She would have punched him in face. Or perhaps knocked something out of his hand with a dramatic flourish. Anthy smiled at the thought.
"Man, sometimes just leaving is the hardest thing to do!" The chubby girl said earnestly. "You like, showed that guy he didn't control you, you know? Now I bet he feels like an ass."
"I'm really sorry you lost your job," the taller girl said, scratching her head. "But, uh, my mom actually runs a bakery-
"People don't really like my cooking," Anthy said quickly. "I mean, I can make shaved ice, but-
"Oh no, she needs a dishwasher and someone to clean the kitchen in general. It's not a huge job, it doesn't pay much, but-"
"Oh, I can do that!" Anthy perked up.
"Great!" The girl clapped her hands together. "Let's go talk to her."
Other than the fact she was scolded for bringing Chu-Chu in the kitchen, her new job went fairly smoothly during the first few days. During her time off, she would look for Utena. She searched records in the library but found nothing. She tried to use a computer once but ended up breaking it. Sometimes she was just reduced to wandering around town. How had Utena found Ohtori? Had her ring just guided her there? Anthy didn't have a rose ring or a prince to show her the way.
The tall girl was named Hikaru and she often came in the kitchen to talk to Anthy. One day, Hikaru came in, excited and aflutter.
"Anthy! There was this girl at school today who totally reminded me of you! She was so cool!"
"Oh?" Anthy said, not looking up from the plate she was scrubbing.
"Yeah! She came in wearing this uniform- it was like the boy's uniform but kinda different!"
Anthy dropped her plate. It clanged loudly in the half-full sink and slopped water all over her shirt.
"What?"
"Yeah! And when the principal threatened to expel her, she said that would be fine with her and she didn't want to go to a place where you couldn't be yourself! I was like "oh man, this chick and Anthy would get along great."
Anthy's hands were shaking. She turned around to face Hikaru. "Did…do you know her name?"
"Ummmm, I think it was Tenjjjjjou or something, I'm not…"
"Where is she? Do you know where she went?"
"I think they kept her after school, like in detention…"
Anthy grabbed Hikaru's arm. She couldn't believe it. Had something been guiding her after all? "You have to take me there. Right now."
"But work-"
"I'll make it up to your mother later. Please take me there. This is important."
Hikaru took her into the school. It wasn't much like Ohtori, but it was a tall and imposing school and Anthy felt a jolt as she approached the entrance. She couldn't shake the feeling that if she entered she'd suddenly be back again, trapped in shifting halls and walls among the faceless masses, destined to lie with her brother under the false stars every night.
She grimaced and pushed open the door. She would go back to school if it meant she could leave again with Utena.
Hikaru lead her to the detention room. There was a girl there and she wasn't in her seat like she should have been. Instead, she was looking out the window and stretching, her hands braced against her bent knee.
"Tenjou…Utena…"
The girl started at her name and looked at her with the eyes Anthy remembered-clear and round with long lashes. But they were also completely empty of recognition. But Anthy found she didn't care about that anymore. Utena was here, she was whole, she was safe, she looked like she was just fine. That was all that mattered. They'd forgotten each other before. They could start over.
Anthy ran forward and grabbed Utena's hands. She couldn't help it, she wanted to touch her, make sure she was real. She felt the warmth of those hands, and brushed the soft skin on the palm with her thumb. She expected Utena to shake her off, push her away, and demand to know who the hell she was. But instead, Utena just stared at her as if she was processing something.
"Hi…memiya?" She finally said it, like a wavering breath. "You're real. You found me?"
She…remembered? Did she remember everything? Or had it been like a vague dream to her?
Anthy threw her arms around Utena, tears welling up in her eyes and spilling down her , without even thinking about it, she leaned in to kiss Utena.
It was something she'd wanted to do so many times as she'd held Utena's hand, rested in her arms, talked with her at night…
But the thought had always stopped her "she's not your prince, she's a girl, she can't save you from your fate…"
And yes, all those things were true
But none of those were reasons not to kiss her.
She stopped herself just as their lips brush, opened her eyes a little to see if Utena was surprised, or pulling away. But Utena was leaning forward, her eyes were closed and her lips were pushed out and curved in a little smile.
She definitely remembered everything.
Anthy went for the kiss. It was unlike any she had ever known- it was hungry, but it didn't threaten to devour her. A tentative exploration rather than a forced entry- she guided Utena's lips and taught them the shape of her own. The world around her seemed to retreat for a moment and even Hikaru's excited gasp behind them seemed muted and far away. Utena's arms rested loosely on her shoulders, encircling her but not trapping her. Anthy let her hands enjoy the curve of Utena's back on their way down to her waist.
"Hey!" the teacher who had been overseeing Utena's detention broke in. Anthy had forgotten he was even in the room. "What the hell?"
Utena pulled away and looked at Anthy with a lazy smile. "Oops. We're breaking school rules, again, Himemiya. You just have to cause trouble, huh?"
"Well," Anthy took Utena's hand and squeezed it. "I'm suppose I'm just not good for anything else."