Father's Day Tribute: Terry's List

by duffie83

10 reasons why Arlene can trust Terry with her kids. It's Father's Day, so this topic seemed especially appropriate. Plus it's killing me that I didn't get to hear the rest of his list. Here are a few starter ideas, I'd love to hear others.

10 reasons Arlene can trust Terry with her kids:

I'm a nurturer. I found a baby armadillo by the side of the road and I nursed it. Now it sleeps under my bed, and its name is Felix.

I have a diploma from anger management where I learned talking about your feelings is the manly thing to do.

I never killed nothin' by accident.

I have a poetic heart and say things like, "Your hair's like a sunset after a bomb went off…Pretty."

I'm not a serial killer.

Even while under the control of a maenad I am an assertive take charge kind of person.

I learned patience in the sandbox and don't mind going with the philosophy, "We will unfuck this situation at a later date."

I don't judge, not even when my boss streaks bare butt naked through the swamp. Hey, we've all been there.

I treat my Catahoulas better than most folks treat their children. I promise to take just as good of care of your kids.

I'm very observant and have been professionally trained in the art of surveillance. Why are you throwing up, was it my shrimp again?

Disclaimer: All falls into the realms of Alan Ball and/or Charlaine Harris. Just having some fun.