I just saw and reblogged the most heart wrenching thing on tumblr where Tom who plays Loki is talking about how one moment Loki can be calm and in control and the next he can lose it and his heart is able to be seen by all and the pain and hurt. FORGIVE ME MY FOLLOWRS FOR THESE FEELS YOU ARE GOING TO GET.

Oneshot: My Asguardian

Loki stood upon the top of Stark tower watching as the world around him burned. The Chitauri were winning and the flames began. They licked at buildings and exploded cars. Such pain was being given to this city, but not enough. It would never equal his.

"Brother," Thor called in an attempt to get Loki to give up on his mad ideas of ruling this world. But Thor did not know that it was partially his fault, he was part of the cause for this.

Growing up in Thor's shadow Loki had looked up to his brother. Had stepped in Thor's foot prints in the freshly fallen snow yet somehow he still got lost in this blizzard. How had Thor not seen it before? Thor who's side Loki rarely left. Thor who had been Loki's role model. Thor the perfect son.

Why couldn't he be more like Thor? Why was Loki so different? Why did Odin love Thor more? Childhood taunts that had always went unchecked rolled through Loki's mind as he stood at the edge of the building watching the world burn. He'd always been so close to Thor, how did Thor not know?

"Quite this madness," Thor begged.

Why was it that only now that he fucked up they noticed him? He could have been just as perfect as Thor had they loved him. Perhaps this madness could have been greatness. He was born to rule but would have been happy to stay at his brothers side for all eternity. Yet none had ever noticed him. It was always Thor this, Thor that. Never Loki.

Thor drew a picture for the first time, the red and blue clashed but everyone praised him. Loki drew him and Thor holding hands and playing with only a green color, all he'd had at the time, and what was he told? Green wasn't a good color. Too bland. Boring. Try more like Thor. Their first lessons in fighting, Thor was born for it, Loki for magic. He should have been more like Thor and learned to fight, they always said.

"Come back home."

Home? He had no home. They'd damned him from the moment Odin took his small and fragile body to Asgard. He was just a shadow, nothing more. Not worth it. Thor was all that matter.

He would show them he could be great and powerful too. He could show everyone that he wasn't useless.

"What madness, brother?" Loki turned to face Thor and he hid his surprise at seeing the only friend he'd every had standing by Thor's side. He should have guessed that Aelith would turn on him sooner or later. Everyone always did.

Eyes locked on his brother he never saw Aelith move until her arms were wrapped around him. She pulled his head down to rest onher shoulder, face towards his neck. "You did good Loki," she whispered, "you would have made a great king."

Loki let his shoulders fall and leaned heavily on his friend, "are- are you proud of- of me?" His voice cracked even though he tried to hide it. She could feel his silent tears wetting her neck.

"Yes. I've always been proud of you, my Asgardian."