Disclaimer: I do not and never will own Naruto. Only the ideas are mine.

Neji and Naruto stood in the arena, and the crowd watched in anticipation. A deadbeat that no-one knew had made it this far, only to be paired against a prodigy. Had this boy's luck finally run out?

If only the crowd knew how pathetically barbaric this battle was going to be...

"Fight!" The proctor yelled, but neither combatant moved. Instead, Naruto began to talk.

"You know, for all the mental bashing you gave Hinata, you couldn't take anywhere near the same pain I can. I can prove it too."

"Oh really? Then by all means, bring it on."

"Fine. The first person to blink, loses." Naruto pulled out two onions, and walked over to Neji. He gave one to him, and pulled out a kunai. "One, two, three!" They both cut into an onion at the same time.

"Still proud of those extra sensitive eyes of yours?" Naruto's had barely begun to water, whereas Neji looked like he was crying, and was actively fighting against rubbing his eyes. Neji blinked.

"Damn..." Neji swore under his breath.

"And we haven't even started with the lemons yet." Naruto pulled out two of the yellow fruit, and cut a piece off each, and squirted it into Neji's eyes.

"HOLY SHIT! ARGH! IT BURNS!" Neji clawed at his eyes, trying to wipe the offending liquid from his face.

"It seems I win that one already." Naruto stated calmly. The crowd was shocked. Here was a nobody, calmly torturing a prodigy, without breaking any of the rules. Hell, he hadn't even used a ninja tool on Neji yet, only to cut fruit!

"Proctor, you should call the match, it's only gonna get more brutal." Naruto turned towards the proctor, but he was just as shocked as the crowd. Neji's vanity and pride was his downfall, especially to lose to the village pariah. The needle had even fallen from his mouth.

"Don't call it!" Neji's once colourless eyes were bloodshot, an effect much exaggerated by the fact there were no pupils in his eyes, so they were akin to a demons.

"You can't use your byakugan in that state. Your eyes were hit by living tissue, so chakra would cloud the Kekkei Genkai you possess. And most people couldn't use their eyes in that state anyway, so right now, you're useless." Naruto told him flatly.

"You bastard!" Neji launched himself at Naruto, who lifted a fistful of dirt and threw it at Neji's face. It collided perfectly with his eyes again. Neji rolled on the floor, but his wet face made the dirt cling to it. Naruto pulled out a bottle of water, and wet the earth, making mud. After all, this pompous man had spent way too much time on his hair for Naruto to ignore it. He was just going to add his personal...touch to it.

Naruto picked up the mud, and plastered it to Neji's forehead, and used his fingers to drag it the whole way through. Neji's once immaculate, shiny hair, was now a horrid mess.

"My hair! You are going to pay for that!" Neji had completely lost his cool by this point. The match quickly degraded into a mess of scratching, biting, eye gouging, kneeing, wrestling, etc.

"Wow, I've never seen two guys catfight before. Go Naruto!" Kiba shouted. This was priceless.

Kiba's shout had broken several others out of their daze, as only someone who was incredibly skilled could reduce a prodigy to this state using only equipment civilians could find, and use.

Soon, the whole crowd was cheering Naruto on. Photos were being taken, and even videos that were originally being used to tape the blonde's complete annihilation had queues for copies of the footage.

On the other side of the stadium, Hiashi Hyuuga frowned at the...battle taking place. His thoughts were not what one would have expected.

I always thought you would bring the house of Hyuuga down, Hizashi, but I never expected it would be financial. Keeping this a secret will bankrupt us.

Pretty cold, huh.

Anyway, the match was called...eventually, and Neji was a dishevelled mess. His clothes were in tatters, and his hair was ragged, and torn in places. His eyes were still red, but they no longer held the same anger they did before.

Naruto was a fair bit better, as a brawl was what he was best at. His clothes had a couple of cuts, but even a cheap tailor could fix them. He had already healed, so he looked like someone who had walked a long way, but nothing more.

He held two fingers up in a peace sign, smiling stupidly to the crowd cheering his name, and ran for the stairs.