Title: Jaffa Revenge Thing

Characters/Pairing: Jack, Teal'c

Summary: What happens when you put a barrier between Teal'c and Tanith? A crack!fic.

Warnings: Badly written (intentionally) and bordering (cross that, way into…) crack!fic

Disclaimer: Not mine, the writers would never make fun of Teal'c this way. They'd be too afraid of him.

"Hey there buddy, how's it goin?" The voice was familiar, slightly worried and very annoying.

"O'Neill?"

"Yeah"

"For what reason are you in my living quarters?" It was a very puzzling question as Teal'c could see very little in the dim lightling.

"I'm not, you're in the infirmary."

"I see."

There was silence as Teal'c contemplated his state.

"For what reason am I in the infirmary?"

"Well you see…it's kind of a long story…"

"Then it would be appropriate to commence at the first event."

"It's 'start at the beginning' T." Jack said with a sigh, like he'd said it a thousand time before.

"Very well."

"You see, you and I were under attack from Jaffa near the 'gate on P3X – something something something, while Carter and Space Monkey were working on activating a shield-thingy we were on the planet to find."

"I have a slight recollection of this." Teal'c's eyebrows were knit together in concentration.

"Yeah well, turns out the Jaffa were loyal to Apophis and, by extension, Tanith. You saw him with them and decided to do your 'Jaffa revenge thing'."

"Indeed. My injuries were sustained in the ensuing battle? I was successful?" He was sure of his victory, merely seeking conformation.

"Ugh, no. See, by that time Carter and Daniel got the doohickey operational. You ran full pelt into the shield. You've been unconscious for a couple of hours."

"I was rendered unconscious by an energy barrier." He did not sound like he enjoyed the idea.

"Indeed."

"One which prevented my revenge on Tanith." He was even more displease with this.

"Yeah..."

"That Major Carter activated." He was merely stating a fact, but to some it would seem like annoyance towards his teammate.

"That would be the reason she's hiding."

"And Daniel Jackson?"

"Hiding with her. Under the pretences of studying aforementioned doohickey."

Teal'c, again, paused to consider the information he had been provided with.

"Today is Friday, is it not?"

"You gonna pick tonight's movie?"

"I was contemplating Star Wars."

"You know what? Considering the state Sam and Danny-boy are in, you might just get away with it."

"Indeed."