Disclaimer: Yep you know the drill dont own nothing.
A/N: Mssilenthorse gave me the idea for this one. Inspired by the song Won't Let Go by Rascal Flatts.
Louise stood in her kitchen clinging to the solid form of her best friend Buck. The telegram clinched in her fist, the telegram that had delivered the news she had been waiting on for three years. Kid was dead. She clung to the man that had been her steadfast anchor in the terrible storm that had been her life since the end of the express.
Right before the end Louise had married the one man she thought she could grow old with, the one she thought she could raise a family with. The one man she thought would stick by her side no matter what. Kid wasn't that man. Shortly after their wedding and Noah had been killed, Kid had signed on with the confederacy. He had begged Louise to come with him back to Virginia but she just couldn't do it. Her family was here; her brother and sister were waiting on her to come get them. She could not in good conscience support a cause that kept men and women in chains simply because their skin was the wrong color. She did not know how Kid could fight for something like that when he thought of Noah as a brother.
When the express ended Jimmy left Rock Creek with Rosemary to fight for the cause, a cause that Lou believed in but she seriously had problems with Rosemary. It was because of that woman that Noah had ended up dead. Louise would never be able to forgive her or support her cause. Cody left with the army right after Noah's funeral, he had signed on as a scout. He wanted to make a difference for people like Noah. Jesse had disappeared with his brother the day of Noah's funeral.
So that had just left Buck, Lou, Teaspoon, and Rachel. Since Kid had left Louise was on her own. She would have to find some way to support herself and her brother and sister. And Lou was tired of being Lou. She wanted to be Louise. So Buck came up with the idea that all four of them pool their money and buy Emma's house and land in Sweetwater. So they did.
Buck and Lou worked hard side by side getting the ranch running. Teaspoon helped as much as he could but he was getting older. Rachel made sure they all were feed. When the ranch was finally ready Buck took Lou to St. Joseph to pick up her siblings. Only they were too late. They had been adopted several months earlier. Lou was heartbroken, thinking she had failed her siblings. They were supposed to be a family together.
That night when they made camp on their way home, Louise asked Buck, "Am I just not meant to have a family? First my mother dies and we get sent to an orphanage, then I find a family with you boys only for that to be taken away too with the end of the express, I married Kid thinking we'd be a family, but he took off first chance he got, and now my own brother and sister have been taken from me."
Buck got up and walked to her bedroll. He sat down beside her and placed his arm around her shoulder. "You are not alone Lou. I'm here; Teaspoon and Rachel are back at home. You have a family and we love you. But if you need to fall apart go ahead, I'll be here to catch you and I won't let you go."
And Buck didn't let her go as she clung to him and sobbed. He held her all night by that fire. There have been many nights since then over the past three years that he would be awaken by the sounds of her crying in her room. Buck never thought twice about it as he would go to her and hold her through the night.
But now with the telegram clutched tightly in her hand, she clung to him but there were no tears, no sobs. She knew she should be grieving for Kid, and she did for his death but she had known it was coming for three years. Louise had spent more times than she could count in the past three years crying for her losses. But there has been one steady rock throughout it all, the man holding her now. When had Buck become the most important person in her life? She didn't have a clue but he was. She'd have never survived these dark years without his light. She needed him by her side always. When she thought Kid was the man she could grow old with, the one she thought she could raise a family with, the one she thought would stick by her side no matter what, she had been so wrong. Buck was the man that had stuck with her through it all; he was her family, him, Teaspoon, and Rachel. She could spend the rest of her life with him by her side. She loved him, she always had but she couldn't tell him that.
Buck knew that the small woman in his arms was everything he had ever wanted, she was everything to him but she wasn't his. She belonged to the man who should have stayed with her instead of going to fight in some stupid war. That man was dead according to the telegram in her hand, but she was still his. Buck didn't understand why she wasn't crying though, she should be; she needs to.
"Louise it's alright to fall apart. I'll catch you and I'll never let go." Buck whispered into her hair.
Louise pulled back to look up into his eyes. Those chocolate brown eyes that she loved so much, the eyes that she always felt could read her very soul, the eyes that always gave away what Buck was thinking. The eyes right now that were shinning with love. "Don't ever let me go Buck."
"I couldn't if I tried." Buck whispered back. "I won't ever let you go."
"Forever Buck?" Lou asked, her eyes shining with unshed tears, but not of sorrow tears of hope.
"If you'll let me. I will stand by you, I will help you through, I will dry your eyes, I will fight your fight, I will hold you tight, and I won't let go. I'll never let you go Louise, ever. I've always loved you." Buck told her quietly.
"I love you to Buck. And I won't ever let you go either." Lou whispered, just before she touched her lips to Buck's in their first kiss.
A kiss filled with promise of a life together. A life spent side by side, working together. A life that may have sorrows and tribulations, but one that would also be filled with Joy and wonder. And not matter what Louise knew that Buck would hold her tight and never let her go. He never had.
Won't Let Go
It's like a storm
That cuts a path
It breaks your will
It feels like that You think you're lost
But you're not lost on your own,
You're not alone
I will stand by you,
I will help you through
When you've done all you can do
and you can't cope
I will dry your eyes,
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
and I won't let go
It hurts my heart to see you cry
I know its dark this part of life
Oh it find us all and we're to small
to stop the rain
Oh but when it rains
I will stand by you,
I will help you through
When you've done all you can do
and you can't cope
I will dry your eyes,
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
and I won't let you fall
Don't be afraid to fall
I'm right here to catch you
I won't let you down
It won't get you down
You're gonna make it
I know you can make it
Cause I will stand by you,
I will help you through
When you've done all you can do
and you can't cope
I will dry your eyes,
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
and I won't let go
Oh I'm gonna hold you
and I won't let go
Won't let you go
No I won't