Disclaimer: I own nothing. Wish I owned it. Rowling got there first! (Dammit!) Oh, I do own all Muggles, Dr. Sulley, and Faith Fifer. Please please R&R!! ;)

Chapter One: Armando Sulley, Greif Counsellor

From the Desk of Dr. Armando P. L. R. Sulley.

Dear Mr. George Q. Weasley,

This note is a simple reminder that you are to attend your first grief counselling today at three o'clock p.m. and lasting until five o'clock p.m. My offices can be found on the corner of Church Street and Main, with the green striped awnings. I will await your letter of acknowledgement.

Sincerely,

Dr. Armando Sulley.

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From the Desk of George Weasley.

My Dear Doctor Armando P. L. R. Sulley,

Shove it.

I most certainly do not need grief counselling. And especially not from a pompous windbag like you.

Good day.

Sincerely,

Mr. George Q. I. X. Y. Z. A. O. T. H. Weasley.

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From the Desk of Dr. Armando P. L. R. Sulley.

Dear Mr. George Weasley,

I was notified that you're behaviour would be somewhat in this vein. This makes me believe even more that you require my assistance. Your appointment is at three o'clock, in the building with the green awnings, on the corner of Church and Main.

Oh, and Mr. Weasley, you do not have nearly so many middle initials. Mine stand for Dr. Armando Percival Ludwig Randalf Sulley, in case you were curious.

Sincerely,

Dr. Armando P. L. R. Sulley.

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From the Desk of George Weasley, who Hates Doctors of Any Sort.

Dr. Armando Percival Ludwig Randalf Sulley,

For all you know, I could have 9 middle initials. My name could be "George Quentin Ignatius Xavier Yustav Zandrill Adalbert Orville Terrence Horatio Weasley. It isn't. But the point is that it could be. An you can go shove your striped awnings up your arse, I am not going to counselling.

Cheers,

Mr. George Q. Weasley.

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"You can't make me go. There's no way you can make me go."

"George, your mother and I have been through this many times with you. We're only sending you to grief counselling until we think you don't need it any more… We're only trying to make things easier!"

"Listen to your father, George Weasley! And don't make that face, it's awful! You be polite now, and remember to answer honestly to all questions Dr. Sulley poses."

"But you're not going!"

"In fact, George Weasley, your father and I ARE attending grief counselling with a lovely young witch named Helga. And, despite your father's assurances that it isn't working, I am certain it will become more effective the more we keep at it!"

"Bloody hell, woman! I'm of age, I can make my own choice, can't I?!"

"GEORGE WEASLEY, YOU MAY BE OF AGE, BUT I AM STILL YOUR MOTHER, OR SO I SHOULD HOPE!"

"Fine, then, I'll go to the bloody green-striped awnings and talk to a complete and utter prat who I haven't even met, and tell him the deepest darkest secrets in my soul. And somehow, we'll heal each other."

"That's the spirit, George! Now, off you go!"

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"George Weasley, or so I presume?"
"You can stuff it now, I know you already hate me."

Patient seems to be convinced that the world is against him.

"Now, now, Mr. Weasley, come lie on this couch and we'll get started!"

"I'd rather stand."

Patient displays no regard for my suggestions.

"Now, now, Mr. Weasley! Just lie down!"

"How many people dribbled their petty problems on you in order for you to be able to afford this?"

"Mr. Weasley, we are not here to talk about me."

Patient does not stay on topic, cannot communicate with other human beings.

"Fine, but don't you try any funny stuff,"

"Oh no, no, no, Mr. Weasley. Just make yourself comfortable. You can start whenever you're ready."

"BLOODY HELL, YOU'RE A STRANGER! I'VE JUST LOST A PART OF MYSELF AND ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT IS YOUR BLOODY SOFA! I'M NOT JUST GOING TO LIE DOWN AND TELL YOU MY LIFE STORY!! YOU DON'T DESERVE TO HEAR ANY OF IT!"

Patient does not display proper emotional responses when under stress.

"STOP YOUR BLOODY WRITING!"

"I'm afraid I cannot do that for you. It is a part of how I evaluate your grief."

"OH-HO! WELL, I'LL SHOW YOU GRIEF!"

Patient makes threatening gestures, grabs onto lamps, and stands with feet wide apart.

He seems to be in a combat stance.

"Mr. Weasley, I implore you to return my lamp to the table from whence it came."

"MR. SULLEY, I IMPLORE YOU TO RETURN YOURSELF TO HELL, FROM WHENCE YOU CAME!"

Patient seems incapable of formulating his own coherent sentences and rather modifies the words of others like a badly trained parrot.

"Mr. Weasley, I can see you are clearly upset. Please, allow me to do my job and tell me what's troubling you."

…

Patient displays signs of perpetual anger. When faced with rational situations, he becomes very red and distraught looking, and has no sense of trust. He shows little/no respect for the premises, and may be apt to leave all appointments early and in a fury, as he has just done.

A Note to Abigail Spinster, Secretary to Dr. Armando Sulley, Grief Counsellor.

Abigail-

Make sure you replace the empty aspirin bottle in my front cabinet. Also make sure to have someone check up on the antique lamp on the small table in the third anteroom, the one above the green striped awnings, it has been handled rather roughly by a patient of mine.

Also make sure that the revolver under the fake telephone in my third anteroom above the green striped awnings is fully operational.

Oh, yes, and I would like a bacon and egg McMuffin from the Muggle place across the street for breakfast tomorrow.

-Armando Sulley, Grief Counsellor, alias Your Boss