Author's Note: So I was bored, and I felt like writing something new, and this is what I got! It's another IM fic, but this one's a bit different...House joins a chat room and talks to some other big shots (namely, Gil Grissom of CSI and Jack Malone of Without a Trace). Don't pester me, but I MAY extend this to give House a chance to chat it up with some of my other favorite TV characters. Enjoy : )
Disclaimer: I own nothing and no one.
EvrybdyLiez signed on at 10:21 PM
EvrybdyLiez entered the chat room "Big Shots: A Place for Professionals to Network, Chat, and Vent"
EvrybdyLiez: hizzle meh professional shizzles
BugManLVPD: Never seen you around here before.
EvrybdyLiez: never had the time
EvrybdyLiez: and who r u?
EvrybdyLiez: spider-man's lame-ass cousin?
BugManLVPD: Actually, I'm Gil Grissom of the Las Vegas Crime Lab
BugManLVPD: And you are...?
EvrybdyLiez: Dr. Gregory House, head of the Department of Diagnostic Medicine at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital.
EvrybdyLiez: haha, my title's longer than yours
BugManLVPD: You're really some socially-inept teenager holed up in a dark basement somewhere in the Midwest, aren't you?
EvrybdyLiez: if i were, i wouldn't be wasting my time here
BugManLVPD: Good point.
BugManLVPD: So, you're a doctor?
EvrybdyLiez: duh
EvrybdyLiez: I've got a double specialty in nephrology and infectious disease
EvrybdyLiez: beat that, bug man
BugManLVPD: I'm an entomologist.
EvrybdyLiez: sooo...u study bugs for a living?
BugManLVPD: Among other things, yes.
EvrybdyLiez: I hate bugs
BugManLVPD: I love them.
EvrybdyLiez: u scare me
BugManLVPD: Your grammar scares me.
EvrybdyLiez: fair enough
EvrybdyLiez: what's it like working in Vegas?
BugManLVPD: It's...busy.
EvrybdyLiez: but, i mean, all the hookers and the drugs and the drinking and the gambling...it's great, right?
BugManLVPD: I don't partake in any of those activities.
EvrybdyLiez: damn, I'd be out every nite
BugManLVPD: I figured as much.
EvrybdyLiez: New jersey sucks
EvrybdyLiez: wanna trade places?
BugManLVPD: No.
EvrybdyLiez: damn
EvrybdyLiez: since ur married to ur job...are u like one of those detectives guys or something?
BugManLVPD: I'm a CSI.
BugManLVPD: And I'm not married to my job.
EvrybdyLiez: r u married at all?
BugManLVPD: Why would I tell you? I barely know you.
EvrybdyLiez: easy there, Gil. just making conversation
EvrybdyLiez: moving on...ur a head honcho in the lab right?
BugManLVPD: I'm the night shift supervisor.
EvrybdyLiez: my job's 24/7
BugManLVPD: As is mine. We're just assigned the cases that happen overnight. Our jobs doesn't end at dawn.
EvrybdyLiez: we get cases that happen any time, day or night, any day of the year
BugManLVPD: How many people work for you, Dr. House?
EvrybdyLiez: three
EvrybdyLiez: and it's "worked"
BugManLVPD: I'm surprised.
BugManLVPD: I'd think a man with your charms would be able to hold on to employees forever.
EvrybdyLiez: heyy, ur being sarcastic, aren't u?
EvrybdyLiez: didn't think u had it in you
EvrybdyLiez: and fyi, two of them quit...I fired the third
BugManLVPD: I have to keep an eye on five CSIs, as well as numerous detectives and lab techs, to make sure none of them jeopardizes the case.
EvrybdyLiez: r u implying that my job is easy?
BugManLVPD: Not at all. I'm just making conversation.
EvrybdyLiez: meh
EvrybdyLiez is typing...
EvrybdyLiez: oddly enough, i think i like u
BugManLVPD: I'm honored.
EvrybdyLiez: don't be. I like you b/c ur like me.
BugManLVPD: Really? How so?
EvrybdyLiez: as my friend Wilson would say, we're both surrounded by ppl, but we're utterly alone. we both have our quirks. and I'd guess neither of us gives a shit about what other ppl think about us.
BugManLVPD: Very insightful, Dr. House.
EvrybdyLiez: well, i like 2 think so
BugManLVPD: As much as I'd love to stay and chat, I have to get back to putting bad guys in jail.
EvrybdyLiez: yeah, I got lives to save over here
EvrybdyLiez: see u around
BugManLVPD: We'll talk again soon. Compare notes about our respective jobs.
BugManLVPD: See if your theory is correct.
EvrybdyLiez: oh boy, i can't wait
EvrybdyLiez: ((sarcasm))
BugManLVPD: Good night, Dr. House.
EvrybdyLiez: have fun fighting crime, Bug Man
EvrybdyLiez: and remember: everybody lies
BugManLVPD: But the evidence never does.
BugManLVPD is Away at 10: 47 PM
EvrybdyLiez: anyone else out there in cyber space wanna talk to a sarcastic ass?
JMalone: Not especially.
EvrybdyLiez: how bout a respected doctor?
JMalone: Jack Malone, FBI Missing Persons Unit.
EvrybdyLiez: Gregory House, Diagnostics Department at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital
JMalone: Ah, so you can use capital letters?
EvrybdyLiez: yes...i just choose not to
JMalone: I'm beginning to understand what you meant by "sarcastic ass"
EvrybdyLiez: u FBI guys aren't very imaginative, are you?
JMalone: Whaddaya mean?
EvrybdyLiez: ur screen name
EvrybdyLiez: it's lame
JMalone: It's just the one I use at the office.
JMalone: At home, I'm SexiiJackii19.
EvrybdyLiez: oh, the secret lives of federal agents
JMalone: Yeah.
JMalone: So aren't we supposed to be networking/chatting/venting about our jobs?
EvrybdyLiez: my job's nothing special. I write prescriptions, save lives, yadda yadda yadda
EvrybdyLiez: and im guessing u find missing ppl
JMalone: We try.
EvrybdyLiez: u the head of ur unit?
JMalone: Yeah. How about you?
EvrybdyLiez: I'm the department head
JMalone: It's a lot of work, isn't it?
EvrybdyLiez: making sure other ppl don't screw up? oh yeah
JMalone: It's worth it, though. Saving people, I mean.
EvrybdyLiez: guess so
JMalone: You like what you do?
EvrybdyLiez: i like solving puzzles, and i get the cases no one else can solve, so...yeah. it kills time between soaps, anyway
JMalone: You watch soap operas?
EvrybdyLiez: DON'T JUDGE ME!!
JMalone: You're an interesting guy, Greg.
EvrybdyLiez: so people say
JMalone is typing...
JMalone: Break in the case. Gotta go.
EvrybdyLiez: bye
JMalone is Away at 11:00 PM
EvrybdyLiez: all my new buddies keep leaving me : (
EvrybdyLiez: anyone reading this? wanna vent about ur job w/ me?
KickinitOldSkool: Hey House.
EvrybdyLiez: go away Wilson! i can't let my new friends see me with such a geek!
KickinitOldSkool: What "new friends"?
EvrybdyLiez: they'll be back...ull see!
KickinitOldSkool: Sure House.
KickinitOldSkool is typing...
KickinitOldSkool: START INTERVIEWING!!
KickinitOldSkool signed off at 11:02 PM
EvrybdyLiez: I don't need a team...I have my new virtual buds.
EvrybdyLiez: so there