The sudden break generated a sharp and irritating scream.
"Ha! What a great way to start the day." Anthony Dinozzo is on the way to the Navy Yard. He is suppose to be in the office by now, only if the road isn't jammed by a triple rear-end collision. Thanks to that he's been stuck on road for over half an hour.
While adjusting the rear view mirror, tony combed his hair with fingers, "Oh, look at you, what happens to the handsome very special agent Anthony DiNozzo? You look miserable."
A dark shadow lies around his eyes, it looks like someone gave him a blow leaving a black eye, but he know it's due to lack of sleep. He hasn't been sleeping more than five hour for days, since Gibbs left the team.
"You will do," Gibbs passed his gun and badge to Tony, "It's your team now."
True, Tony admits that he does want to lead a team, his team someday, but not like this. He love his job with NCIS, working with Gibbs, even the head-slaps. Tony look up to Gibbs, it's a complicated and mixed feeling. Does he see Gibbs as a fatherly figure, as a trusting friend, or more than friends? He is not sure, but what he know for sure is that he's willing to die for him, to do anything he says.
Having his own team is great, Tony knows that. What he didn't expect is that this came so soon in an least expected way. Gibbs is gone, or retired as he says to Mexico. The last words he left was "it's your team now" and "semper fi". This is not what he wanted.
"You look like a 10 year old boy, Anthony DiNozzo. Oh what, Daddy left you makes you cry. Ha, you are too old for that." Tony mumbled, covering his face with his hands, his eyes is getting watery. He took a deep breath, try to stop the urge of bursting in to tear. This side of Tony has never been reveal to others, Tony suppose to be cheerful, full of joy, some times even a little inappropriate. He is not suppose to be vulnerable, fragile and weak.
*
The traffic starts to flow, finally, after almost an hour. It gave Tony enough time to adjust himself, "Gosh, these traffic police should be more efficient." He looks in to the mirror again, a big smile, typical DiNozzo style, "Much better, DiNozzo, much better."
He pulled over at the Navy Yard parking lot, rushed to the office. Leading the team isn't easy, but he is trying his best with all the effort.
"Your wish is my command, Boss." Always, so he will do it, lead and unit the team again as how Gibbs would want.
*
Gibbs came back for Ziwa, who got set up in the case.
Tony rushed as fast as he could, skipping stairs to the squad room right after the case finally closed.
"Where is Gibbs?", he asks.
"Gibbs left", says Mcgee, "says he has a plane to catch."
"Are you sure about that, Mcgee?" The usual smile freezes on Tony's face.
"Yes, Tony. I'm sure."
"Nooo, cuz he didn't even say goodbye to me." Tony tried to make himself sound relaxed, not to show his disappointment. Deep down, Tony feels an agonizing pain in his heart, feels like a sense of betrayal as if Gibbs abandoned him, gain.
Soon after that, Gibbs came back again, only this time for Fornell.
Although Tony is glad to see Gibbs back, he still felt a little twitch in his heart when he saw all his stuff being poured on his table. Guess he would feel better if Gibbs could just tell him he is back and needs his table back.
"Hey, Boss! I need to go to the loo for a sec." Tony walked away from the squad room in a unusual speed.
*
Tony walked in the the restroom, carefully checked every corner, after confirming no one else is in it, he locked the door. He lyings towards to wall, staring at the mirror. His eye full of emotion, hard to describe, but definitely not very nice.
*
"Tony, how would you rate your performance as a team leader."
"I'd say it's a solid B...minus", he twitched his eyebrows, "I'm being fired, aren't I?"
"Your own team, congratulations."
Flattered will be the appropriate word to describe Tony's first feeling when Director Shepard offered him the opportunity to build his own team in Rota, Spain. That only lasted for a second, then hesitation, fear, the sadness and blues kicks in. He doesn't want to leave the team, Abby, Mcgee, Ziwa, Ducky, Palmer, and mostly Gibbs.
"Tony, if you pass this down. Another opportunity like this may take years."
"I am worried about Jethro." Says Tony, he turned the promotion down for a funny mustache, for Gibbs.
*
"Hey, Boss. It's good to have you back. I miss you. I love you. Just wonder if I am ever going to have the gut to tell you that." -Diary of Anthony DiNozzo.