I've been reading T.S. White's Once and Future King recently and was wondering "how in the world did he come up with someone living backwards in time? Not just aging backwards, but living backwards." this got me thinking and I came up with a theory. Merlin never really lived backwards in the magical sense... but what about in a very real, non magical sense?

Enjoy!

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Merlin

Merlin's world is falling apart around him. The last thing he remembers is grabbing his satchel to gather herbs for Gaius. Now he's on the far opposite side of the castle with no satchel, and wearing strange clothing, reminiscent of his own but of a quality finer than he'd ever worn in his life. He needs to find Gaius. He'll know what's going on.

Running down one hallway after another his mind whirls as guard after guard turns an unfamiliar face towards him and looks away again. What had happened?

One guard steps forward, blocking his path, "Sorcerer-"

He blanches and bowls the man over pumping his legs even harder. How had they found out? What was he supposed to do? He skids to a stop outside their door as a though strikes him. Does Arthur know?

Throwing open the door he bursts in and executes a neat spin designed to send him back in the opposite direction when a hand clamps down on his shoulder pulling him backwards.

"No!"

Uther pushes him down on the single bed and sets himself firmly in front of the only door. "Merlin! It's ok. You're safe. I know about your magic. I'm not going to hurt you. You got that idiot?"

Uther's voice is calm and soothing, unlike anything Merlin has ever heard from the cruel king before, especially not concerning magic.

Sobbing he buries his head in his arms, shutting out the world around him in favor of darkness. He just doesn't understand what's going on.

Arthur

As soon as he hears shouting he knows what has happened and changes his destination. Instead of bringing him to the new council chambers his feet soon place him firmly in front of the old physician quarters, now empty save for the same furniture, though none of the glassware, as had sat there when he and Merlin were still Prince and Servant.

Now Gaius rests among the dead and the two boys that they had been also exist only in the past, or so Arthur wishes it could be. Instead he unbolts the door slips inside and prepares himself for the confrontation to come.

He doesn't have to wait long. Pounding footsteps in the otherwise deserted corridor alert him to readiness. He leans forward.

Merlin bursts into the room, sees him and immediately does an about face. Before he can run Arthur clamps a hand down on his shoulder and drags the warlock over to the bed positioned to mimic Gaius' before moving to block the exit.

Merlin cries out in fear sending a stab of anger through the King's heart. Why did it have to end this way? What had his friend possibly done to deserve living the darkest years of his life twice over?

"Merlin!"

Merlin stares numbly at him and he lowers his voice. "It's ok. You're safe. I know about your magic. I'm not going to hurt you." He pauses and pastes a small grin onto his face. "You got that Idiot?"

Merlin is anything but reassured by the mantra. Sobbing he buries his head in his arms, sagging as if already giving himself up to the imagined pyre.

The door cracks open behind him and Sir Gwaine pokes his head through. "Is he in here? Oh, good. I'll stand guard."

Arthur gives a nod of thanks, his throat tight, and the door closes again.

Reassured that Merlin can't escape now, he moves to sit on the stool across from the distraught warlock.

"Merlin? It's me, Arthur."

Merlin shakes his head without looking up.

"I know it's hard for your to believe. You probably thought I was Uther when you first saw me, right?"

He is rewarded with a small break in the arms protecting his friend from the world. A single blue eye peers out unbelieving.

"Listen Merlin. I get that you're confused right now. Things don't make sense. Just trust me. I'm the same dollop head you know."

Slowly Merlin's head rises above his curled arms though he makes no effort to uncurl the rest of his body. "Arthur?"

Arthur smiles. "Yep. And you're Merlin, Merlin the warlock."

The boy shudders. "How- how did you find out? Are you going to kill me- I-"

Arthur cuts him off, fighting back a frown and a tear. "You told me yourself. I'm not going to kill you. No one is. Uther is dead. So is Morgana. There's no one left to worry about."

Merlin eyes grow wider with each passing second but at last he seems confident enough to sit up and look his King in the eye. "What's going on? What happened to me?"

Now it's Arthur's turn to hold back tears and Merlin studies him with blue eyes intent on divining the truth.

"You're older. And the guards are different. It's not the same roster." Merlin sweeps his hand in a wide circle. "None of Gaius' stuff is here. The air smells dusty. This room hasn't been used for herbs in years." His eyes close. Something clicks. "Time. That's what's changed." His eyes open bewildered. "Arthur." He clutches at his friend's hands, searching for a lifeline. "Why haven't I changed?"

Arthur nods slowly to regain his composure. It doesn't get any easier. Telling his best friend and closest advisor that he has changed, they all have. Only, only Merlin keeps changing himself back. It's only to be expected, the physician tells them. As he loses his memory he will identify more and more as his younger selfs, and with magic as powerful as his… it's only to expected that he would feel most comfortable in the body that physically matches his remaining set of memories.

But why Merlin? Why dementia? Of all the people in his life, why is it Merlin who must forget everything they'd done together, everything they'd build together?

"Arthur? Do you know why I haven't changed?"

For a moment Arthur closes his eyes, shutting out the world around him in favor of darkness. He just doesn't understand.

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All comments, critiques and other reviews always welcome!