OK I REALIZED THAT THE WAY I PLANNED ON WRITING THE STORY DIDNT GO WELL WITH HOW I WROTE THE ENDING SO IM REPOSTING IT SO IT MAKES SINCE IN THE END FOR HOW I WANT IT HALF OF ITS NEW BTW BUT I ADDED SOME STUFF IN EACH CHAPTER.
Bella's pov
I stare blankly Into the bathroom mirror and i can hardly recognize myself anymore. I gaze upon the battered girl in the mirror; the lacerations are heavily visible around the eyes,some fading away seeing as they were old. Like i said i didn't recognize the girl. Ive always seen a girl with a nice complexion and who had a reason to smile, this girl has the sense of ending. I had everything a normal 16 year old girl could have at one point: best friends and a life. I didnt tell nobody at first when the voices started at first they came in whispers then as time grew on they would tell me no one loved me, kill my self,etc. Iam alone..i have no one..simple as that. It became hard when i could no longer tell the difference between real and not real objects.
Hi im Bella swan and i have schizophrenia...welcome to my world.
What can i say about my life im an honor student well was, i have a job well had,and i make straight A's or did. Well i guess you can say that all went downhill when My illness became known when i turned 17 and after I had my first episode it set all the events in my future in motion...
FLASHBACK
I heard the door open to the store open and someone walk in. "Hi welcome to Newton's" i said trying to put on a cheerful tone. My register was right next to the door but my back was turned to the door so eventually the customer would have to pass me but i didn't see anyone so I turned to continue cleaning my area but when i turned i saw a grotesque face , the face looked decayed like it had been buried for years.
I jumped into the glass case filled with with cigarettes and candy and landed with my back against on the floor. When i opened my eyes i see A tall, black, crouching creature hissed at me. It walked around to the my left side and I could see red stripes from its spine to it's rib cage. By then I was screaming and crying. As soon as it reached out and grabbed my arm, I realized it was just Mrs. Newton.
When i got up i saw my arm had a huge gash on it from the glass and that everyone in the store was looking at me like i had lost my mind. The whispers started,it got over whelming, the whispers got louder and louder "You're alone," an insidious voice told me. "You're going to get what's coming to you"."They all know,just look at them they can see past the mask you put on." After that i bolted for the door and started wandering the streets. It got worst after i left because i kept seeing people who was pale and looked like they've been in water. It was all too much;eventually after a few hours my parents found me walking home in the rain. I got in the car drenched with rain water.
"Isabella Marie Swan what the hell was that at the store.I mean we have people calling us freaking out because they said you had a-a-a look I don't even know what to call it but im glad I wasn't there to witness it." My mom all but screamed at me how embarresed she was that everybody saw my episode.
"Wow thanks mom im peachy a little wet but I mean I just got a huge gash on my arm but besides that im fine how was your day dad." My mom looked at me with a appalled look on her face. Sarcasm was heavy in my voice.
"Charlie aren't you going to say anything?" And yet she keeps pushing this. "Rene im just glad we found her and she's home safe...we'll discuss that at another time tonight but her safe is all that matters." I smiled inside at my dad but all I could here is my mom huff and puff.
look at you all helpless. your parents don't even love you think all you want Isabella.
The voices kept echoing in my head all at once then I saw my dad turn around and say what they were saying then it was my mom it just kept going on and on till finally I couldn't deal with it..."Shut the fuck up! shut up shut up shut up shut up!" The car did a immediate stop and the voices went away.
"Bella are you okay!" Dad asked frantically. "They won't go away they wont." I just kept mumbling. After awhile my mom just told my dad to drive.
The ride home was very awkward and cold I swear I could've been blue by the time I got home. I immediately went to my room and showered but I went to the top of the stairs and heard them talking.
"Charlie you heard her in the car...think of the people in the town, what would they say." Mom was easily embarrassed and I highly doubt she wouldn't go outside for a long while.
"Rene she's our daughter and I don't care what people have to say-" He broke mid sentence "Charlie we can't give her the attention she needs ,she needs help." And with no response from my dad I already know what the answer was.
-AFD-
After all that i find myself in the back of my parents car being driven to a place with people with similar needs and problems. They really thought i was stupid i knew from the look on their faces and the suitcases in the car that im going to the nut house. As we approach this big prison looking building I only saw one thing this place would bring me: Loneliness. As i got out my father helped me out and hugged me comfortingly. I looked up and looked at a window where a boy,could be my age,looking down at me. As quick as i saw him he went away.
I was brought into a big lobby it was like a average hospital lobby. When we approached the desk my parents talked to the red haired woman named Emily, i paid no attention, So i went to go sit down in one of the cushioned chairs.
"Hi." I heard a voice say. I looked and see a tan hand extended "I'm Jacob." He had short black hair and a killer smile. As I observed him he looked slightly muscular. When he came to shake my hand his long sleeved shirt revealed something: a multiple of them.
I looked away pretending i didn't see it.
"Its fine you don't have to pretend you didn't see it most people do. I did it and I got to live with them" I saw his face was blank and non remorseful so i guessed he heard this before.
"Im Bella by the way."I shook his hand and he returned his killer smile.
"So are you staying here?" I looked at him weather or not i wanna tell him the truth. I mean was it obvious that I was crazy?
"Is it obvious?" He laughed and shook his head "No not really, but all the pretty girls seem to stay here." I blush and laugh "I don't see any." He looked at me and I thought I saw a twinkle "I do." once again I blush.
"Ok so pick one suicidal, depression, or just looking to get out the house?" He asked putting his hands behind his head.
"Im a schiz." He nodded and laughed "I'm sorry for laughing but i think its cool to be able to see things and shit."
"Yea no everything i see is death and the voices comes and goes but its no picnic." We sat there and talked like old friends while my parents filled out whatever forms they needed. They kept looking this way occasionally when i would laugh or talk back. This is the first time i laughed in a long time really since ive been diagnosed.
"Are those your parents?"I nodded "Sorry if they keep looking this way probably just keeping an eye on me." My dad got up to hand in the forms then came over to talk.
"Bella we're done with all the signing lets get ready for the doctor to escort us to your room." I nodded. "Dad this is Jacob, Jake this is my dad." Jake held out his hand but it stayed there while my father looked at him then at me . "Nice to meet you Jacob." My dad Grumbled.
"Bye Jacob well see ya later if possible." I waved.
"See ya later Bella." With that he got up and walked away.
"Looks like i made a new friend." I laughed and looked at dad "That's nice Bells looks like you're gonna like it here." I went through the double doors and they gave me a garbage bag and some sweats and a blue shirt along with slippers. After i discarded my clothes in the bag along with all my items we went back into the rooms, where i'll be staying.
After they showed me to my room,the cold grey room with a small bed and a window, My parents said their sorrowful goodbyes and how they were gonna visit me on visitor days. I was prepared to spend my days here until they see fit to let me out but it hurt that my own parents just dropped me here but i guess its for the better.
"Bella my name is Dr. Carlisle Cullen and this is nurse Esme Platt. We'll start with talking tomorrow but i just wanted to formally introduce myself and we want to start you on the medication today." He was a fair man with blonde hair looked about 30ish while Esme looked to be in her late 20's with honey colored hair.
"Whats the meds do?" I was not gonna be drugged up sitting up in my room all day drooling looking out the window.
"They just help with the symptoms to your condition." I nodded and took them.
"Now your able to walk to the great room where you can meet everyone and get acquainted with the place." I followed him to a big white room with chairs and a small tv in the background quite music played.
It was soft and peaceful. I wonder do they play Claire de Lune or Debussy.I wandered to the tv area and saw a old show of i love lucy played, the volume was off so whats the point of watching it. The book area looked abandoned so i went and read a book. Luckily they had my favorite book Withering heights. At the corner of my eye i saw people wandering around and one dude was even clapping in the corner. This was truly the nut house.
I was 20 minutes in when I saw movement in my side vision I turned and looked back slowly only to meet a pair of piercing green eyes looking dead at me.
WELL HERE WE GO DONT FORGET TO PASS THE STORY ON AND COMMENT THE WAY I WROTE THE STORY WAS BEFORE THE FLASHBACK IN THE BEGINNING OF THE CHAPTER WAS REALITY SO DURING THE WHOLE STORY SHE'S REMEMBERING AND TELLING HER STORY SO WHEN IT SAYS FLASHBACK IN THE OTHER CHAPTERS ITS REALLY A FLASHBACK WITHIN A FLASHBACK.