AN:/ This is a collaboration fic, with fellow author thisisforyou. It contains an OC that I used in Cure but this story has no link to that one.

Marvin was currently walking down the street, donning a pink flowery sundress and an over-sized straw weaved hat. The current contract was…well he didn't really know. He'd phased out when Victoria was code named 'bunny' and Ivan become all googly eyed. He wouldn't say he was disappointed when he found out that Victoria had been saved when he had left her after she was shot; it was more that he was annoyed that Ivan saved her as they been all over each other ever since. The new Sarah girl was grating on his nerves. He thought she was fine at first but then Frank wouldn't let him probe her for Government materials. She said he was a pervert. He said he was being thorough. She slapped him. He hit her with a pillow.

Marvin had gotten trouble for that, which is why now he was the one walking in the dress, as the bait, as opposed to Frank's girlfriend. He was quite disappointed as he was sure he had told Frank that Sarah was wearing the dress next time.

"Oooh pancakes"

He averted his attention walking into the pancake house in the middle of the shop. He stood in line glancing up at the menu board with pretty pictures of all the illustrious pastries. He smirked quickly grabbing a two for one voucher from the woman in front of him's purse; laughing gleefully until he got a paper cut. He frowned. This didn't prove that Sarah was right; people still got shot more.

Sarah and Frank were so rude! He thought as he awaited his order of double chocolate chip, with banana's and maple syrup. This was the best assignment ever! Oh wait, crap, the actual assignment. He shrugged still waiting for his order. He should actually try and remember what the assignment was before he acted. He thought back to last night.

He had looked at the ceiling in horror. He had been peacefully sleeping, until he heard the strangest of sounds from Ivan's room. Never had he thought that Ivan would sleep with a woman while on a mission. He had been wrong. Ivan did have a sex drive! Then, he heard more disgusting sounds. His only comfort was taken in hoping the moans and cries would die down soon, and that maybe he could convince Victoria what he heard in the morning as juicy gossip.

Only, things got increasingly loud. Then the woman began to scream Ivan's name. Marvin shivered in horror. Things only got worse when he realized he recognized the voice.

His fears were confirmed when he heard Ivan cry out the name of his partner with his moans.

Marvin had the worst team-mates. There he was, trying to sleep and they were doing it right next door! In an inn with paper thin walls! He was going to kill Ivan and shame Victoria. He didn't care what they did together; he just didn't want to hear it ever. Never, ever again.

As the night fell back into quiet, Marvin believed the nightmare was over. He slowly drifted back to sleep, despite the emotional scarring he had just experienced. Then, the shower next door turned on.

He heard a giggle, then a groan.

Inconsiderate assholes.

So with that and the alleged sexual assault on Sarah, Marvin had been forced to be the jail bait in this mission. Sarah had questioned how Marvin was meant to attract the attention as he was hardly an object of lust, but Victoria simply stated to the poor dear, was that they were trying to attract the attention of a infamous criminal profiler and Marvin's normal image screamed 'evaluate my brain'. And with that, Victoria pushed him out the door; "elegantly" he thought bitterly. Not that she would ever push, more like nudge, politely maneuver, maybe physically direct towards. She had then slammed the door – not slammed per say, shut with force, no no no, closed gently with a splash of finesse. 'I'm defending her now, oh god', he thought shaking his head. 'Perhaps' she's chipped me?' He shook his head mournfully. 'Last time I give her the honor of feeding me!'

Ah, that's right the criminal profiler. Some hostage gig to get her to profile some guy they're meant to 'retire'. Pssh. What a nancy way of saying 'shooting the fuckers head off'. He sat at his table, staring out the shop window as the broad passed. She did a double take and then decided to subtly enter the pancake house. He rolled his eyes consuming a mouthful.

"Any good?"

She inquired politely. She was an attractive woman, with a nice smile. Straight teeth, he thought. She had an average height and wore bright neon green glasses that clashed horribly with her black suit. Marvin groaned whacking his palm repeatedly against his hand. Fashion? He wanted that fucking chip out. She sat down quickly after that. He didn't get it; for all she knew he could have been just another lune, but she seemed to sense his criminal aura. He smirked. He had a killer sense. After a few minutes he thought of a subtle way of leading her out before shrugging slamming down his fork, standing quickly and grabbing her. He wrapped his arms around her front dragging her out. She of course fought, people of course screamed. It was a big tantrum of human emotions, and he couldn't care less. Just jammed her into the van and drove off. Ivan would complain that he wasn't being subtle; screw subtle, he did get the job done.

The journey, unfortunately did require an over night expedition. Marvin of course, use to sleeping naked, didn't even consider changing his routine when female company was present. So asleep nude in the front seat, the brunette broad bound in the back, he didn't expect much trouble. Well that is until he smelt the smoke. He woke fogged, looking to his left he saw out his car window a rising billow of smoke. He soon realized that the broad had set his clothes on fire and escaped. He probably shouldn't of left the knife in the back but he couldn't be bothered moving it. He shrugged exiting the van to go find her in the forest. It didn't take long. The chick didn't know the meaning of silent escape. She seemed startled and surprised to see him there bare, and wrinkly.

"I didn't think you'd pursue naked, or barring that it'd take a whil- did you seriously hunt me naked?"

She shuddered, looking down when she looked up his muscles were coiled as if he were about to spring. She held up her hands in protest.

"No, no Ill go with you. I don't need THAT stain forever on me, thank you".

–

So their mini journey came to a close as they arrived at a cabin in a location that cannot be revealed. He had immediately tied her to a chair, as she glanced around at the five pairs and curious eyes.

"Look-" She started before Marvin cut her off.

"No matter what you say, I will not have sex with you."

"Ego blowing but no. That's not what I was going to say"

She rolled her eyes, twisting her wrists to test her constraints.

"You've had sex?"

Sarah seemed genuinely shocked, as she spoke, blushing at the slight insult, though Marvin considered her question seriously before responding.

"Yeah, I think, I'm not sure. I was checking her for chips and then well-"

Sarah looked startled again this time standing in her shock.

"Wait, you've had sex with a woman? I thought you were gay."

Frank patted her arm reassuringly.

"He's lying. He is gay. When Victoria and Ivan were on the rocks after the whole shooting incident, Marvin was very 'supportive' towards Ivan during that time"

Marvin rolled his eyes, crossing his arms.

"I commiserated with him because women are insane."

Sarah, mimicked his actions with a rueful sigh.

"You're black"

Marvin looked at her as if she'd grown a third horn.

"...Case. Point."

Frank interceded between the two.

"Marvin, just his morning didn't you complain about women being – and I quote - insane and impossible?"

Marvin pointed at their captive, then gestured to his borrowed clothing.

"She set my clothes on fire. I'm sorry, were their more appropriate words?"

More fire ensued that night though this time it was not the fault of Antonia's, who was still tied to the chair. They five of them were coughing and scrambling about as they made their way to the exit. Marvin turned back, but not before Frank seized his arm, trying to tug him forward. Disentangling from his grip he motioned to their captive, Antonia.

"I'm getting the pig"

Frank nodded and exited. Kicking the chair over, the wood broke and Marvin picked her up bridal style before exiting the house.

"You saved me?" She said with a small tear in her eyes and frog in her throat. Sarah smiled approaching them, with Marvin retreating as that usually meant trouble.

"I didn't mean to make her cry. Girls leak from time to time"

Sarah shook her head, as Frank called her over.

There were many theories of how the fire started that night. Marvin swore Antonia did and that her being bound was just a convenient excuse, but it was later proven that Ivan and Victoria had forgotten to tend to it, as they got...distracted.

They decided to camp out, around the cabin as it made a pretty nice camp fire now that Frank & Ivan had contained it to a more condensed area. They took shifts watching the captive though Antonia insisted sleeping near Marvin as he'd been the only one that even thought of saving her. She glanced around, though, a small smile on her lips, at the dynamics of this quirky group. If she had some paper right now, she thought, there would be some serious analysis.

"There's a word for what you feel toward us," Sarah said during the beginning of her watch.

"Stockholm's Syndrome?"

She replied tiredly.

"No, the other one. Love."

For once, she had to agree with Marvin; the bitch was crazy.

AN:/ Part two coming soon!