"Heichou!" Eren called, blushing as he stared at the computer screen, feeling quite nauseous from what he had just seen.
Levi opened the door that was behind Eren. "What, you brat?" he asked, annoyed from being interrupted from his oh-so-precious cleaning.
"Heichou!" Eren said bewilderedly, "Look at what those yaoi fangirls have done to us!" Levi peeked at the screen and then proceeded to throw up on the ground.
"Disgusting! No amount of cleaning chemicals can ever make my eyes clean again! Why did you do that Eren!" Levi exclaimed, punching Eren on the shoulder.
"It wasn't me, Levi-heichou," Eren said, a grim look on his face, turning around to face his leader, "Hange-san was using the computer before me, she said she wanted to show me something."
Levi burst out of the room running, and didn't stop until he had found Hange.
"Hey, shor-" Hange was cut off by Levi's right knee in her face, thus breaking her glasses. After the initial shock went away and Hange was lying on the floor, she said, "Hey, short stuff, what was that for?!" and tried to pick up what remained of her glasses.
"That was for traumatizing me and Eren," Levi said, contemplating whether or not to sock Hange in the face.
The brunette smirked. "So you do care about Ere-," this time, it was a punch in the gut administered again by Corporal Levi.
"Just because I'm human and don't want other humans, regardless of gender, to get traumatized or die doesn't mean I have romantic feelings for them," Levi said, a menacing look in his eyes, " if that was true, everyone who had a heart would subsequently enter a harem or a reverse harem."
"Huh? Levi, you're no fun," Hange groaned, lying on the floor again.
Levi picked Hange up and helped her sit down. Quickly, he planted a chaste kiss on her lips.
"I don't care for Eren in the way you're thinking, but I care about you Hange," he said, lightly blushing.
Hange smirked and said, "Ha, shorty, I have to sit down to be shorter than you," and then kissed him back.
Meanwhile, Eren looked through the internet, seeking to find out what the sick minds of Attack on Titan fans were making up now.
I do not own the Attack on Titan characters. This fanfic was made for humor purposes, so please don't take it way too seriously.