Disclaimer: I don't own Chicago PD.

A/N: Okay, last scenario I think lol the bar scene got to me... for various reasons. He didn't mention Erin... he said 'maybe' they could have fixed things and he said it was good to see her but goes home to leave Erin... so I changed it lol

I know I mention annulment a lot... I just don't understand how a 24 hour joke marriage ends in divorce lol It along with a million other contradictory things throughout the four seasons are blowing my mind right now. I feel we all love Jay and don't want to dislike him but this episode has left us with mixed feelings. Writers better fix it ASAP. Anyway I'm done now. lol There will be a part two and I have another part of Come Home, Jay.

I'm with someone

Jay POV

"I could do another one of these." Abby smiles over at me and I shake my head.

"Um, no, I shouldn't." I'm anxious to get home to Erin, desperate to bring her into my arms and inhale her scent. To find some reassurance that I haven't ruined us.

"Gotta get to the barracks?" She jokes.

"We didn't drink enough back then?" I throw back deflecting.

"See, I think we could've drank a little more. Maybe fixed things." She looks over at me hopefully.

"We're exactly where we are meant to be in our lives Abby." I'm gentle but serious.

"Oh."

"It was good to catch up Abby, but I gotta get home. I have someone waiting for me." My voice is soft as I let her know I've got someone now; that I've long moved on.

"Okay." She shrugs over at me, taken aback.

"Um, I should probably sign the papers and get going." I reach for my jacket, hoping this can be quick.

"I don't have them. There's no one in Philly." She looks over at me with a sly smile.

"Abby." I'm frustrated, but try and come off as understanding.

"I never told you that I loved you. Even the day that we got married. Didn't feel right. But I did. I really did."

"You shouldn't be telling me this." I shake my head looking past her.

"I'm sorry if I'm putting you in a tough spot admitting how I feel."

"You coming here with lies Abby has put me in a tough spot with my girlfriend. I'm with someone Abby… I don't want to be harsh but I don't carry any romantic feelings for you, and you telling me these things don't change anything. I'm in love with Erin. I didn't think I'd find someone like her… she's everything I want in my life." My eyes are shining with honesty as I tell her about Erin.

She averts her eyes as she stares down at the bar.

"Abby, you deserve everything good. I'm just not the guy that's gonna give it to you… I can't imagine my life without Erin and I really need to get home to her."

"You live together?" She finally looks back at me.

"Yeah. It's serious. I'd like to marry her one day." The confession slips through my lips without warning.

"Okay, I understand… I'm sorry, for everything."

"It's okay. Can we organize this divorce though?" My forehead crinkled, eyes pleading with her.

"I'll do you one better." I raise an eyebrow.

"We'll file for an annulment. Have a good life Jay; you deserve it… more than most. I hope you and Erin are happy." She reaches to squeeze my hand before leaving me alone in the bar.

Erin POV

The apartment door closes behind me; I hang my jacket up and walk forward to place my keys on the table.

My heart constricts when I see Jay's keys there and I walk towards out bedroom.

The first thing I see if a duffel bag on the bed, my heart shatters at the sight. My eyes blink rapidly before I search the room for Jay, he's sitting on a chair at the end of the bed staring at it.

My heart is racing and a million thoughts dance through my mind, including fear that he's leaving for me for Abby.

"Hey." He tells me, looking over at me.

"Hey." My voice is breathless, the wind knocked out of me at the thought of Jay walking out.

"I can stay at Will's for a bit." He offers, looking ashamed and unsure of where we stand.

"You don't have to do that." I shake my head, desperate for him to stay.

"Erin… maybe I should give you some space. Apparently I'm still married, so there's that… um who I was back then, I'm not proud of it, and I know you think everything's behind me, but it's not. I don't know if I should be here right now…"

"Whatever it is, I can handle it." I'm serious, conviction in my tone.

"I love you, and I want to stay." Jay's gaze locks with mine.

"Then stay. I want you to stay." My eyes are filling with tears.

"Why? After everything." He's shaking his head.

"Because I love you, and you don't just walk out on someone. We'll work through this… I'm sorry I thought everything was behind you, but you come off as fine."

"I got good at pushing it down." He shrugs, eyes dropping to the floor briefly.

"Is that why you never told me you were married?"

"I don't like to think about that time of my life."

"That's not healthy." I take a seat on the end of the bed.

"I know, seeing Abby just brought so much back. I gotta get my head on right. I'm really sorry I didn't tell you, I'm sorry I'm married… I'm just sorry. I never wanted to put that look in your eyes… I had every opportunity to tell you. You have every right to kick me out…" Jay's eyes are full of tears as he struggles to keep them at bay.

"I'm angry, I won't lie. But I can see you're going through something… I'm more hurt and insecure than anything." His eyes snap over to me before he moves forward to kneel in front of me.

"You have nothing to feel insecure about Erin. Okay? I love you, more than I've ever loved anyone. I meant it when I said it was a twenty-four hour joke, it was a mistake. No one could compare to you, you have nothing to worry about. There's only you."

I nod slowly, tears in my hazel eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I whisper brokenly.

"Erin…"

"No, I'm sorry. Don't worry." I shake my head deciding against it.

"Erin, let your anger out."

"No, you need me right now."

"I can't stand sitting here knowing you aren't telling me how you really feel. Don't bottle this up to only come out later."

"You want to know how I really feel?" My voice is full of anger.

"Yes." I push him away as I stand up to pace; he rises to face me.

"I don't know who you were back then, so you got married? Okay. But I like to think I know who you are now. But I mustn't because I thought this is something you would tell me. At any time, when we were just partners… after you jokingly asked me if I was married. When you asked me to move in? When I admitted you are the only one in my life I trust, when it was clear I was moving away from Hank to be closer to you."

"I fucked up Erin."

"You did. Why didn't you tell me?" I try again.

"The look in your eyes."

"It wouldn't have been in my eyes if you told me early on."

"I didn't want to relive that time of my life." His head bows in shame.

"Mouse working with us didn't seem like a hard reminder, but Abby is?" I'm desperate to understand the man I love and all of his pain.

"Mouse put me back together after my time there, Abby… she's a reminder of the man I was when I got back. Reminder of the drunk asshole I was, with total disregard to other peoples feelings. It makes me feel like shit and then it makes me think about what drove me to that point… my time overseas."

I look away shaking my head, a large sigh slipping through my lips.

"Then when we were together it never seemed like a good time. Then I was so in love with you, I couldn't imagine not having you in my life… and I was worried you'd leave me."

"I lean on you Jay, why can't you be honest and lean on me? Keeping something so big with no intention to ever tell me broke my heart, hearing you are married… it hurts but for different reasons. But you can't fix that, but you could have told me. Instead this entire case felt like you were questioning me… I get I was sending out vibes about trust…. Which weren't misplaced, because I was right about you. Then I come home to find a bag out… what were you thinking?"

"I wasn't. I hate that suddenly I'm this lying asshole; I never wanted to hurt you. I wanted to be the one person in your life that never did. You've had enough of that. This is the only thing I've kept from you. I promise." His voice is full of anger, directed only at himself as a tear slips down his cheek.

"And it won't ever happen again?" I wipe my tears away sniffling.

"Never."

"Okay." I whisper quietly, feeling like weight has been lifted off my chest.

A/N: Let me know what you think, I obviously lifted some of the lines from the show lol

Review :)