Theme: 02:00 Ridding partnerships or relationships of negativity
Title: Catharsis
Fandom: Naruto
Character/Pairing: Haruno Sakura x Uzumaki Naruto
Category: Romantic
Rating: PG
Warnings: Slight spoilers for Chapter 238 and above, very slight suggestive material
Disclaimer: Naruto and all things related belong to Kishimoto. Not me.
Summary: Sakura apologizes for all her failures, yet she does so with all the conviction of someone who believes she can make up for it.

Done for 24 Hour Themes LJ Community. Critique on these is very much encouraged, as this is a long term project that shouldn't be done in a mediocre fashion.
Sakura studied the keyhole. From what she could appreciate, the small apartment door was heavily locked. The windows she'd stopped to examine on her way weren't as soundly secured, but then again he had never been one to plan far ahead.

He probably felt he owned nothing worth stealing. Or he'd forgotten to, which was just as likely.

With a simple unlock-seal, Sakura let herself in, not even attempting to flip the switch by the door (the power must have been cut months ago). Street lights would have to do, she reasoned, pulling the shutters open.

Oddly enough, the late night (early morning?) gloom opposed no resistance to her eyes. Paper-thin layers of dust, stale air, objects in slight disarray…much like a young child left his toys when he intended to return sooner than he actually did. Sliding a window open, so as not to be overwhelmed by the lack of proper oxygen, she headed into the humble bedroom, a nervous determination in her usually smooth stride, and sat primly on the bed.

Hello, Naruto…she thought the words, her voice firm and full of emotion in her head. Sakura willed them to project themselves into the room.

I hope you don't mind it too much that I …break into your home while you're gone…but I -I had to. No. I wanted to. I have to get the words to you somehow. A longing smile pulled her lips up. Since…I can't reach out to you physically. You and Jiraiya-sama must have left Fire Country behind months ago.

I don't want to beat about the bush…Naruto, I feel guilty. About all the times I wasn't there when I should have.

The words, she realized, became easier to bring up as the fluttery, scattered remorse she'd been holding focused into a tangible cause and simultaneously started melting away. Not only as a team member, but as a friend. I never understood your pain well. Tsunade-shishou once remarked about how I have a fatal attraction towards the things that I believe need my fixing…

A little spasm of laughter escaped slightly pressed lips. Heh…she's partly right. I'd never be able to advance as a medic-nin if it weren't so. I need to be able to care about the people I heal, enough to try my best for them…

The thing is, I never did that for you, Naruto. A few dumb words of support and some cheering...hmph. Even Sasuke-kun (cramps of sadness reached her heart) and his insults helped you out more. Then again, he didn't actually mean half of what he said…so I'm even further behind in that.

Sakura brushed a hand across the cold pillow beside her in a tender, impulsive caress. Her eyes nearly, only nearly, welled up at the feel of a few wiry hairs under her hands. She didn't need to glance down to confirm that they were indeed blond.

I guess I used the fact that Sasuke-kun was the person I loved to justify the tunnel-vision. But it doesn't make you any less deserving. You were too patient with me…and you aren't even a patient person to begin with. A single tear, a lone testimony of the anger at herself, escaped her eye. I was useless and more uncaring than I let myself notice. And that's why I came here in the first place, you know? I'm so tired of lugging regrets all over the place.

"Because that's what useless little girls who can only cry and lament over hurt teammates do…" She whispered in realization. Suddenly aware of the emotional brink (regression, perhaps?) she was driving herself into, Sakura took in a slow breath. She let it out gradually, and repeated the exercise until the emotions had strayed back into her control radius.

What would he have said if he could see her?

Ah, Naruto...if you were still here, you'd probably fall over yourself apologizing and be frustrated for making "Sakura-chan" sad, wouldn't you? I'll say it again…you've been too lenient with me.

At this thought, she brought her head down on the pillow, closing her eyes. You idiot…for once, I should be the one doing exactly that. I promised you we'd be dragging Sasuke-kun back together…and we'll do just that. As true friends. Not because I owe it to you, but because I truly want to.

"I came", her words were now truly spoken into the room "to leave my apology here…so it stays with all the dust, the negativity and the old regrets we'll be cleaning up together when you come home."

She closed her eyes and brought her legs onto the bed, pulling off the boots she'd left on until then (for the sake of keeping her feet from the dust on the floor) and dropping them back down carefully.

"Maybe I got so used to your worship that I just assume you accept the apology…but that's not all I have. I promised you far more. Consider this the first and last quota of all the care I owe you. The rest will be a freely given gift."

"Well…that feels better," she sighed, eyes closed, slipping her hands under the pillow, "You better know what a quota is, stupid blond, because I'm not going to repeat myself. This is probably the best un-cheesy speech I've ever said." She smiled at a mental image of said blonde, scratching his head in confusion.

Looking over the bedside table, her eyes lingered on an oddly quiet alarm clock. It seemed to have stopped at 2:30, a few minutes earlier than the actual hour (she supposed it was about 2:45). She really should be heading back to her own flat now for more sleep.

As she moved, attempting to gather the will to get up, she turned to lie on her side, her nose catching a faint scent as she did. A whiff of something was on the pillow: sweat, an earthy musk, what had been the pungent smell of a too-strong shampoo…

Undeniably, the smell of Naruto.

Every time something reminded her of the missing Uchiha, her heart would device a new discomfort. Despite her affection for the lost teammate and the resolve, nearly fraternal in the face of the dying crush, to restore him to Konoha, Sakura couldn't help but experience hurt, resentment, and sometimes even hatred for the way he'd defected. The new unbalance he'd disturbed their shaken worlds with.

But a reminder of her idiotic bombshell…though it brought on nostalgia, and enough guilt to force her into apologizing to an empty home too, it always faded into memories of the grime-eating grin, the absurdly big smile…she'd get the tiniest urge to go out after him, track him down and chain herself to his side, if only for the fact that no matter what, he'd be there, smile in place.

The smell, the scant hours of sleep she'd had previously and the relief of somehow having made right were lulling her to sleep. Sakura entertained the notion of getting up and leaving, but, curiously enough, gave it up in favor of the musty smelling apartment, with its bed worn soft and its Naruto-scented pillow barely cushioning her head.

Maybe, she thought irrationally, a remnant of his chakra is here to comfort me. As an even smaller bit of it now traveled on the wind, back to its owner's body, carrying a small bit of her sentiment to him. She smiled one last smile of longing, one that transcended vague nostalgia of times gone by.

Her only dreams that morning resembled a laughing, bouncing orange blob that always stayed on the edge of her vision. At some point, it developed blue eyes and uneven, coarse blond hair- and clever, brazen lips, but she only noticed those when they were already somewhere above her jugular, teasing her neck for a few blissful moments. Then he smiled teasingly and dodged away, instants before her fist reached his face and caused a fatality.

"Awww, but Sakura-chan, didn't you want to know if I'd accepted the apology?"