hey! I am back to imma!

I got my result day before yesterday! I got 9.8 CGPA out of 10! Guess who took my 0.2 ? Maths and art. :( but I will get my scholar batch anyway! Our school has a system of giving small batches for children with 10 or 9.6 and above CGPA . But they will be given on the stage! God! I am nervous! Last year, I was sulking! On the stage! We hadnt rehearsed after all.

so sorry if I sound like bragging, I didnt mean to! I just shouted out because I was worried about my result. Seventh class was very eventful for me, I lost my friends, got in bad company, and turned into a loner. But now I do have friends and they are nice, and I look forward to eighth class. Which starts from 1 april, today is 27. Goody.i need to finish three novels. The hound of baskervilles, ruskin bond collection and munshi premchand collection. Which should take one hour each. I usually finish a novel within an hour. Talking of reading, read on!

I never knew walking could be this difficult.

the implant gives me a lot of trouble. It moves when I move. Jumping is never an option. If I jump, It does too. And that hurts.

If I had known what would happen once I get home, I would have never saved myself by flying away from the crash site.

I feel like a cripple. A handicapped person. A disabled person. My life has been butchered into two. Iron man and Tony stark. Both are difficult to live as. Iron man struggles to live , Tony stark struggles to die.

I have panic attacks now. About the crash. About pepper and rhodey dying in the crash. About dad being tortured in some other part of the world. I cant sleep. Usually I run off during the night to my lab. Modify the suits, fry baddies. Some times, I think, staring of in the dark space,marvelling myself at what I have become. Those day I cant resist, and my shields come down. On those days, I have to wash my face several times so that any lowlying proof of me crying is erased.

the other times, I think if it is worthy to keep the reactor in. It is a matter of seconds that the tech marvel makes its way to my hand.

I doubt if I am still sane.

who could be? Who could be if people are wolfing for your life and your life is so easy to take?

college feels even more awful. Everything is awful. When I hear people bitching about me and fangirling iron man. When happy says he is iron man. Does he know how much pain , it takes to be iron man?! With each boost of the thrusters, how much does it hurt, does he know?! Does anybody know?! Does anybody care whether iron man is fine or not?! Does anybody care asking why is he iron man?!

nobody does.

if I say pepper and rhodey do, I would be lying to myself.

they dont. They love me. They do not know why I am still iron man. After going through so much pain. It sounds ugly, but it is the truth.

I dont care.

I have faced whiplash.

I have faced the mandarin.

I have faced things which no one has.

i have faced life.

i can face the pain.

because every hero has a story, and it is not easy.