Summary: Kira mourning Gin's death.
Pairing: Gin/Kira
Warning: weirdness/abstractness, suicidal attempts, angsty feelings
Author's Note: I suppose this idea has been overused already, but I couldn't help giving it a shot as well, for I was inspired by countless fanart and AMVs, really, which left me devastated and depressed, but I am such a damn masochist that I couldn't help looking up more and more before writing this was simply a necessity. So, yes, forgive me... I didn't think I would write anything Kira-related so soon anywayz, but like I said, countless fanart/AMVs do that to you, orz...
Disclaimer: Do not own Bleach.
Indeed… Only Him
The streets of the real Karakura Town were almost restored. Not a single human even guessed something strange happened. Everyone worked so well to conceal the truth of what really took place here.
And I was the last one to find out about what really took place during the battle.
Ichimaru-Taichou died.
He. was. dead.
His existence was...no more...
Dragging my feet with hardly any stamina, I floated down the street in silence. Not a single creature in sight, not a single spirit either...just street lamps along with the pale moonlight showing me the way.
They were surprised, shocked even at how calmly I took the news of Ichimaru-Taichou's death. I smiled at them, saying he deserved to be killed like a dog. They went on telling me how he was killed by Aizen's hand, how he betrayed the madman... I only chucked in reply, saying it didn't matter. A scum always stays just that – scum.
The path was getting messier, not yet cleaned rubble and stone from what used to be a tall building were starting to get in my path, but I didn't see them. I was elsewhere. I didn't bother to step over them and that was when I tripped, hitting the ground on all fours.
Ouch, that hurt...
It actually hurt..?
I leaned forward on my elbows, strength completely gone from my system, a strange buzz inside my mind.
Ichimaru-Taichou... I smiled at them, I used the same tactic you always did...
And they fell for it. They actually fell for it...
They believed the lies I said about you. You should have seen their faces, Taichou. They were absolutely priceless.
I let out a light chuckle, finding strength to raise my body into a sitting position. So many thoughts and feeling were running through my mind and body that I no longer knew what to do. I no longer felt like doing anything.
Just sit there...where? Ah, there was blood on that boulder in the short distance.
Blood...it was definitely his blood.
Ichimaru-Taichou...
A light smile still on my face, I actually found enough strength to crawl up to the boulder.
Rangiku-san got to witness your death, but why couldn't it be me, Taichou? Why couldn't I experience the honor of seeing you die..?
Chucking at that strange thought, I ran a hand over the bloodstains... No longer fresh, but dry...
It has been a day, after all. 24 hours.
Taichou, I didn't know of your death for so long...
Leaning against the rock, I saw something glitter to my right. It looked like...
No it couldn't be...
Reaching for the small object, my hand shook lightly as I took hold of it.
Impossible... Shinsou... Such a beautiful blade was in my hands, yet...
It was already disintegrating.
Taichou, did you leave this gift for me..? For me to always remember you by..? For me to never get lonely...?
Oh, you shouldn't have...
Pulling the blade with both hands up to my face, I kissed it…running it over my cheek as if it were the most precious thing in the entire universe, as if it was the only thing that mattered to me in this world.
Of course, it was.
But it was falling apart...
Testing the blade on the skin of my neck, I felt a light sting of pain course through me.
It wasn't too late yet. I'm so glad...
Somewhere in the back of my mind, Wabisuke screamed at me uncharacteristically, fear visible in his voice.
I pushed it far back though.
Do not worry, Wabisuke. There is no need to be afraid. You will be with me, too.
Using both of my hands, I held the sharp object before my neck, ready to piece myself with it at any second.
Ichimaru-Taichou, I will not let you leave without me. I am going to come with you, to keep you company.
Thank you, thank you so much for granting me this chance to be pierced by your own Zanpakutou, or what was left of it.
A euphoric feeling took over my heart. There was no longer pain, nor sadness. I was happy. Oh how much I loved this world.
Too bad it didn't love me back…how sad it didn't give a damn about me...
Only Ichimaru-Taichou ever did. Only he knew the real me and undoubtedly understood me.
Him. Only him.
Anything and everything for him.
A hand was suddenly on my eyes. That same hand I used to know like my own such a long time ago…
"Izuru..."
Ah, that voice...it called my name...
Shaking more violently now, I started chuckling... The chuckle was slowly growing before it turned into a hysterical laughter, echoing throughout the area. With a barely audible clang, Shinsou fell on the rock, sliding down to the ground; my hands instantaneously on the hand around my eyes.
I kept laughing, eyes closed, kissing the thin hand leaning against it as if my life depended on it.
It was Ichimaru-Taichou.
Taichou, Taichou.
Taichou...
And then, I broke down. My whole body was shaking, screaming loudly, rivers of tears running down my face. Ichimaru-Taichou leaned his head against my hair, his one hand tightly over my shoulders, hugging me close to him from behind.
He stayed quiet. H-he didn't say a word. I kept screaming, nothing could ever calm me down at that very second. The unshed tears and all of the emotions that have been building up this whole time were escaping my body until I couldn't scream anymore, nothing but hoarse sounds escaping me.
Taichou was alive. He was well.
But I kept crying.
"I-" I choked out through hysterics, "I...I didn't...even...get to say...goodbye..."
I could feel that grin on my hair...
Taichou... I love you... I love you so, so much...
It hurts. My chest...it...
Hurts...
N-no...
I could feel nothing anymore. A weight has lifted off my chest, but...
There was no way I could move. There was no where for me to go.
I was no longer needed...hopeless...weak...useless...
And yet, I was not alone anymore.
And I smiled a genuine smile.
The sun has just risen, street lamps already turned off. The morning was still cold and Rojurou Otoribashi shivered slightly as he went down the same path he knew Kira took.
He could feel a faint reiatsu coming from the same place he heard was Ichimaru Gin's resting place.
Ever since Kira was missing from Seireitei, he instantaneously knew where to find him, but he refused to look. Refused to disturb the blond for he knew well what he was going through...
He knew of his relationship with the former Captain of Division 3.
But it was time to take him back...
Finally stopping at his destination, he was met with a scene of Kira lying on top of some blood-stained stone, convulsing madly, sobbing, but no tears were running down his face for he cried them all out already. His eyes were red, hair messed up, a small trail of blood dry on his neck. A smile adorned his features, a blissful look in his eyes.
What a fine work of a messed up art...
"Kira," he said softly, uncertain if the blond heard him, but continued on, "Let us go back home..."
Kira heard him; he knew that by the way the blond stopped sobbing and shaking.
Yet, at that very second, he understood something else: no matter what, he would never get through to him.
No matter how much time passed or how much effort he put into it...
Kira would always stay devoted only to his former Taichou.
Only to Ichimaru Gin.
"Leave me be," came a hoarse, but firm and annoyed voice, "I am with Ichimaru-Taichou now."
Indeed... Only him.
The End.