Disclaimer: I do not own McFly or Dougie Poynter. IF YOU DO NOT LIKE SLASH OR MENTIONS OF SLASH DO NOT READ! I repeat, THIS IS SLASH!

A/N: Yay for Flones and Pudd!! McFly Slashone of the best kinds of slash LOL x

Dougie Poynter's Man Journal

Day Uno

I've decided to keep a journal, a MAN journal because that just sounds better than diary right? So anyway today I got up and headed downstairs for my usual morning toast and coffee and when I arrived in the kitchen I saw the oddest thing. Tom…naked….in only an I promptly took a piece of bread off the table and slowly headed back towards my room before collapsing on the bed and letting out a moan. Was no one sane in this house anymore? A knock came from my door which I sadly had to get up and get.

"Hello Douglas!" Danny said with his big grin. He was naked too. I promptly shut the door in his face and ran into my bathroom with this journal. I think Danny thinks I'm a depressed emo freak who needs love and attention. Can anything get worse than this? Harry and I might be the only sane ones left in this house!

Day Dos

Seriously, stairs are not God's gift to man. So this evening I was coming up from eating some dinner and Harry just seems to pop out of nowhere.

"Dougie, do you think Tom's gay?" He asked me seriously at the top of the stairs. I started laughing until I realized it was an actual question.

"Well I've never actually thought about it really, why you ask?"

"Because he just ran past my room saying something about shagging with Danny?" Harry said cringing.

"He was probably just kidding, get your mind out of the gutter wanker!" I pushed him in the arm and somehow ended up falling backwards down the stairs. Harry, of course being the gentleman that he is, helped me up and kissed my forehead. KISSED MY FOREHEAD? Hold on bathroom time.

Well I didn't mean the kissing forehead part, I thought it would seem comforting? And you have no right to call me a wanker!!- Harry

I only went to the bathroom, which gave Harry no right to write in MY man journal. He will be severely punished the next time I see him…maybe with chains and- DOUGIE YOU ARE STRAIGHT. STRAIGHT DAMMIT!

Day Tres

I've decided to title all my entries with Spanish numbers because it just seems manlier and this is my man journal right? Ha. So today we had to do this show on GMTV and we we're going to play All About You of course as everyone loves it so much. I got confused and got lost backstage and tried to find the guys….and you know what I found instead? Three guesses and the first two don't count.

"Guys?" I said leaning around the side of the empty stage, our show not starting for another hour or so, "I got lost and I'm not sure where to go!" I heard noises coming from Harry's drum kit and assumed someone was going to play a trick on me and walked over towards it. "Not funny guys, you know I don't like dark lonely spaces." That was when I saw it, Tom and Danny….having sex.

"AHHHHHHHHHH! HARRRRYYYY!" I screamed running down the dark hallway until I found a dressing room where my band mate was drinking a beer and beating his drumsticks on a table. I ran towards the curious man and hid behind his chair.

"Doug, why are bloody screaming and why are you hiding behind my chair?" Harry asked with that pursed lips look he gets when he's not happy. He got up and got his nice jeans and took off his other pants. I looked away and blushed, wait…I'm blushing over HARRY with NO pants?

"Because…I saw…"
"You saw…?"

"I-I-I saw DAN AND TOM HAVING SEX!" I screamed and covered my eyes.

"Oh, you've had something to drink haven't you…we're they really?" Harry asked curious as he went towards and leaned out the door.

"BEHIND YOUR DRUM KIT!" I blurted out.

"NO FUCKING WAY, NOT NEAR MY DRUM KIT!" Harry shouted as he raced out the door and down the hallway.

"Haz…your pants…" I said holding up the pair of jeans he had been changing into and just let my voice die until I heard a scream. So I ran down the hall, Harry's pants in hand, and found the taller boy hiding behind a cymbal.

"Harry, what are you screaming about?" Tom asked, standing there fully dressed but with an 'I've-just-had-amazing-sex' look. Danny looked curious as he buttoned up the rest of his shirt and put his sweater on.

"Mate, are you not wearing any trousers?" Danny asked in his strong Bolton accent. Harry gave a squeak as I put a hand on my head and handed him his pants.

"Wait, Doug is holding your trousers…your missing them…YOU TWO WERE ABOUT TO HAVE SEX?!" Danny decided as he looked back and forth between me and Harry.

"WHAT!? NO!" I said in shock, "NO! NO! NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER!!"

"Woah, cool down mate, I was just joking." Danny said laughing, "Unless you really were about to have sex…"
"Dan, shut up." Harry said as he finished putting on his belt buckle.

"Aw, don't yell at Danny like that!" Tom said as he hugged the younger guitarist next to him.

"YOU TWO WERE…FORNICATING….BEHIND HIS DRUM KIT!" I declared pointing from them to the floor.

"And?"

"Oh so you two really are together?" Harry said simply as if Tom had just clearified that he was going out to get lunch instead of clarifying he and our other best friend we're gay together.

"Yes, haven't you noticed? We told you all week…" Tom said as he held onto his lover.

"We thought you we're joking," I commented. Soon the studio people started filtering in and the boys broke apart so no one would notice, even though I can't see how you wouldn't from all their touching and undressing each other with their eyes and stuff, but all the same still. We soon finished and I couldn't help thinking how great Harry looked today, how his blue eyes sparkled, how his arse looked so wonderful in those pants, how I could just kiss him right there…WHAT? WAIT. SCRATCH THAT. I NEVER WROTE THAT, THIS IS A MAN JOURNAL. I LIKE WOMEN! YAY FOR BOOBS!

Day Cuatro

Luckily I hide this journal every night or otherwise Harry might know what I mistakenly said and never meant. Never. Nada. Zero. Zilch. Hold on, I need to find my bass since we're going to see some kids today or something for a contest…I forget where I placed it after last night...

OH HOHO! I think our little Douglas has himself a crush on Harry… -Danny

DAN! STOP WRITING IN DOUGIE'S DIARY!! It's his own private book and currently you are turning me on with no shirt, come on…let's go to the bathroom together…- Tom

I leave for about five minutes and came back to find this, what the heck. Why do they tell me things that I do not want to know? Even though I wouldn't mind going to the bathroom with Harry….STOP DOUG STOP, YOU LIKE WOMEN WITH BREASTS AND LEGS AND MULLETS…oh crap sticks…I'm going insane…women with mullets?! I've decided to take this journal with me as I head downstairs, so hold on a moment. Okay I'm now downstairs, just so you know, and have found James Bourne in our downstairs closet.

"Hi James." I said as I pulled out my hat and closed the closet door. I stopped and looked around for a second before pulling the door open. "What are you doing in our closet?"

"Uh…this isn't the cinema!? I NEED MY MONEY BACK!" James declared as he walked out of the closet and out our front door into the morning sun. I shook my head and headed over to get something to eat in the kitchen which is where I'm writing from now. Harry just asked if that was James Bourne going out our front door and I told him that he had been in our closet looking for the cinema. Danny, who had been sitting at the table eating a sandwich, gave his confused look and almost choked on his sandwich since he stopped thinking about chewing…we have problems with that all the time…Harry started beating on Danny's back and I am laughing from my position on the counter writing as he had turned a bit blue a second ago. Tom's come downstairs singing a song about being gay or something, says it's from West Side Story…why is no one normal in this house?! I don't think I'm even normal with my gay urges, the non-existent gay urges thank you very much.