Tower
By Nagone
Summary: Dying isn't the answer. Living is.
Pairing: Luka and Older Luka
Genre: Friendship/Hurt
Rated: T+ for attempted suicide
Author's note: Often, Vocaloid songs serve as a powerful inspiration for me. One of my favorite is Megurine Luka's "Tower". The MV is beautiful, and the songs message is strong. I like the image of reflecting on your future and seeing that you have worth rather than just ending things. I hope I can convey this in this fic. It's been a long time since I've felt sadness like this, but it still exists. I hope that to everyone that reads this fic, they find a warmth that propels them home to their right place.
Tokyo's bright lights bloomed beneath the massive tower. The sounds of the unison between humans and technology barely reached Luka's ears. It was her birthday today.
It was easy to block everything out.
She had never felt this low. Her friends had skipped out on her to opt to go to a new karaoke bar that was all the rage, and her boyfriend had work and wouldn't be able to spend her 17th birthday (coincidentally Christmas Eve) with her. She sighed for the umpteenth time that night.
One more time, she thought. One more time.
Luka only wanted one more time to have things go right. She had grown tired of life. She felt as though she were grasping at smoke most of the time. She wasn't smart enough, wasn't hip enough, and certainly wasn't pretty enough like her friends. Her parents loved her dearly, but they couldn't be a substitute for what she felt was missing.
Hence why she found herself up on Tokyo Tower.
The view from here was beautiful. The snow that coated the ground below had begun to make a thick carpet on the outside viewing deck. The lanterns that lit up the bridge and the distant shopping district bobbed like toys underneath the full moon. She tugged at her caramel brown jacket and fluffy earmuffs, trying to grab as much warmth as possible.
She remembered the prior morning clear as day.
She had woken up, excited about her birthday, but her parents had simply left a note for her return that evening, stating that they'd be late. She got up, dressed, and left.
The elevator ride to the very top viewing deck had been a hard choice to make, but it became easier with the passing moments. If she was going to die, she'd die looking at the beauty of her beloved Tokyo. And that's where she found herself now, tears drizzling down from her crystal blue eyes to her cheeks, streaking saline rivers across her chilled skin. She leaned over the rail, knowing it would hold, and reached out. Maybe this is not for me, she thought. Maybe things will get better. But inside, she knew that her life was destined to be mediocre.
So without hesitation, she threw herself forward over the railing.
The fall was spectacular. Her body had twisted as she half-slipped, half-fell from the top of the tower. She became a part of the dazzling backdrop that was Tokyo at night, the wind catching her and cradling her as she fell. The tower zipped past her at an amazing speed. The snow seemed to float past her as the tower soared high and higher above her, the top, her former pedestal, gone, disappearing, like her life soon would be. She closed her eyes, the glowing tower that last thing she expected to see. She braced her body for the impacted that would steal away her soul.
But then it began.
It was small, but it grew. There was a warmth like nothing she'd felt before that surrounded her, growing, and soon, she realized the warmth was human, tangible. "Is that," she gasped "…me?" She looked shocked. Hovering in front of her was a woman that looked distinctly like Luka, but much more older. She's beautiful! Luka though in awe.
The woman smiled and pulled Luka closer, her long pink hair flaring around the two girls. A set of deep blue eyes blinked, making Luka gasp as she felt a burst of warmth envelope her. You're not alone a voice echoed in her mind. It sounded exactly like Luka's but bolder, stronger.
Luka saw the tower come back into view as the mysterious figure pulled her, propelling them towards the top. They rose above it to the tip and landed, balanced delicately on the edge. Luka had never felt this free before. She felt the older woman push her gently and suddenly, Luka was soaring through the snowflakes as though she had wings. You are never alone. I am always with you, the older woman's voice echoed once more. Luka smiled, her heart free and light as she spun through the air, the mysterious woman fading from her view.
"Thank you!" Luka cried. "Wait," she said, turning midair. "What is your name?"
The mysterious woman's voice entered her mind one last time. My name is-
Suddenly, Luka felt wet.
She gasped as she felt the warmth that was previously there leave her body. She patted herself down quickly. I never jumped, she realized. She had simply stayed here, daydreaming. She rose up quickly, brushing off the wet, cold snow, and quickly grabbed the rail to steady herself. She felt faint, almost as though she hadn't been entirely there during the dream. "Geez," she muttered. "What's wrong with me?" . Her phone buzzed and she clicked it:
Come home sweetie. We've been waiting for you! We've got cake and cocoa! You're friends are waiting for you too! -Mom
She tore off towards the elevator, and as soon as it opened, tore across the bridge that would lead her home. She smiled brightly, brushing past people celebrating the snowy Christmas season. Her short pink hair fluttered in the wind, the snowflakes barely kissing her skin as she ran. Everything was as it was, and this was simply a bad day. She smiled as she ran faster, harder, her boots propelling her home. She was hardly paying attention, and soon slammed into a woman. "Oh gosh, I'm so sor-" she broke off. The woman rose up, long pink locks billowing behind her. Luka couldn't see her face, but the woman somehow felt familiar and held certain warmth to her. With a gust of snow, Luka fell back, and the woman in front of her was gone. Luka pressed a gloved hand to her chest once more before a man came up to her and offered help. She accepted it and quickly recovered for a moment before she continued her path home to her family and friends.
The woman watched, perched upon the tip of Tokyo Tower. Her hair whipped about her as she glanced up at the moon. Her job was done, and it was time for her to leave, despite her not wanting to. That's what consciences did: they came when they were given a task, left when it was done. Still, she felt tears roll from her crystal blue eyes to her cheeks at the thought that herself, her younger human self, would grow without her. She sighed and dried her eyes before smiling, allowing the snow to gently whisk her away.
Author's Note: I hope that this touched your hearts. I enjoyed writing it, and it's probably one of my favorite quick fics I've written in a long time.