I was reading a fan fiction about the razor edge line between life and death, that Danny exists on. I've seen a fair few fictions reference this "fine line", but this time while reading I had "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" stuck in my head. I never would have realized how perfect this song fit if it hadn't been for shear luck. So I wrote this one shot inspired by the song. If you want to read the lyrics I added them to the end of this story.
Disclaimer (Do we really need these? Isn't the website's name disclaimer enough?): I don't own Danny Phantom, these characters, or the song "Boulevard of Broken Dreams".
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Danny Fenton's eyes shot open, "No!" He gasped as he reached for the phantom flames. With a shuddering breath reality came crashing back with unforgiving clarity. Danny was sitting up in his bad shivering as the cold night air clung to his soaking skin. Tears pricked at his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. He was so tired of crying. To him it felt like he hadn't stopped crying since the incident. Left over images from the nightmare still flashed through his mind.
Danny was running towards his family. The metal thermos that held his strongest enemy lay on the ground behind him, forgotten. Danny was beyond exhausted, his feet would barely lift off the ground with each step he took, and despite that fact he had never run faster in his life. The ruins before him grew steadily closer, but Danny was still too far to help them. His parents, Jazz, Tucker, Sam, and Mr. Lancer, his teacher, were tied to the make-shift bomb, and there was only seconds left. Danny unconsciously looked into each face as he ran his eyes took in every detail.
Mr. Lancer was obviously terrified, but there was also understanding in his eyes. He knew he was going to die and he didn't blame Danny. The eyes off Danny's sister Jazz held love, pride, and pity, because she knew they would be leaving him completely alone. His parents looked at him and silently begged for forgiveness for every wrong they had ever committed against their son. Finally Sam and Tucker, his best friends, his allies, they were completely calm they knew he couldn't save them this time. This time they were all going to die, and their best friend, their hero couldn't stop it. They watched their friend struggle, and tried their hardest to convey their deepest gratitude as they said goodbye to their halfa.
He shuddered as he forcefully stopped the flashback. It was bad enough he had to relive the moment in his dreams. He didn't want to remember it while awake. Yet he couldn't stop remembering. Once again Danny forced his mind to stop as his thoughts tried to lead him to the explosion. He needed a distraction, and for the first time since the explosion he decided to go on patrol. A familiar ring of light appeared at his waist and split, traveling in opposite directions changing him as they went. Almost as soon as it started it stopped and Danny Phantom was left in the place of Danny Fenton. His feet never touched the ground as he flew out of his room through the wall by his window.
The night was silent as he flew over his city. Habitually Danny traveled the same patrol he'd gone through night after night since the accident that changed him from human to halfa. This rout was so ingrained he didn't need to pay any attention to his surroundings to know where he was going. Lazily he watched the buildings go by as the night soothed his still frazzled nerves. He moved fast and sure, as anyone does when going through a routine, but as he passed over the shining steel Ops center of his old home his breath hitched, and he seamed to stumble midair. Everything was thrown into sharp clarity even as his eyes blurred with tears. Though he had continued flying Danny had slowed considerably and was forced to stop somewhere above the park.
Danny thought about how pathetic he must look to the outside eye. The town hero was standing in the park hyperventilating and sobbing. Despite the costume he looked nothing like the hero the town thought he was, and at the moment Danny didn't feel anything like a "hero". A hero was strong and confident. A hero looked danger in the face and laughed. Most importantly a hero protected those he cared about, but not Danny. Danny let them die. They were all dead and he couldn't save them, and it was all his fault. He was pathetic, the farthest thing from a hero. Suddenly a chuckle broke through his sobbing as he thought about how stupid he looked. It had been so long since he laughed that he laughed harder. He must have looked completely ridiculous, or insane laughing and sobbing kneeling on the ground. Danny felt as if his mind was slipping and his laughter gave way to sorrow. He cried. For hours, or minutes he cried.
He was alone now. Sure he had Vlad, but before the nasty burger explosion he and Vlad had been enemies. He had never been close to Vlad, and he wasn't truly close to Vlad now, even though they were both morning. At school he was avoided. Even more than before, because before he had just been a nerd and a geek, but he use to have friends, and Dash use to bully him. After the explosion though even Dash had stopped talking to him, and in a way he was grateful, but he was also alone. Valerie sometimes talked to him for a while in the halls between classes, or sat with him during lunch. It was nice because it took his mind off of his grief for a little while, but eventually his mind started to conger up his guilt again, and the company always became uncomfortable.
He couldn't win. When he was alone, he wanted somebody near, and when he had company all he wanted was to be alone in peace. The problem was the company he received was never the company he wanted, because the people he wanted to see were dead. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, and weeks passed in a blur, and he continued on. His grades improved since he immersed himself in studying, and his fighting improved as he trained. He focused all his energy into improving, to keep his promise, and at the same time he was in a daze doing everything absently, as if on autopilot. He continued on in his life, and though everything went on normally, nothing was normal, and he was separate and alone in every crowd.
Danny was kneeling in the park, no longer crying, in the gray light of the morning. He picked himself off the ground and flew back to the mansion, purposefully ignoring the Manson's Mansion as he flew past, and got ready for another day of school. He did everything absently, and somewhere in his mind he wondered how long it would be before he stopped working in this weird autopilot. He knew he would be alone for a long time still, and wondered if he'd ever feel normal again. Somewhere in his mind he wondered about things like that, but in the front of his mind, he focused on his current action. He focused on moving forward, and continuing his life. He continued moment by moment, alone.
I walk this lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone
I walk this empty street
On the boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone
ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ahaha-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah
I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
On the edge and where I walk alone
Read between the lines
Of what's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone
ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ahaha-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah
I walk alone
I walk a...
I walk this empty street
On the boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone