Required Legal Mumbo-Jumbo:
For the record, I don't own KP. The same goes for any characters, settings, descriptions or catch-phrases which you may or may not happen to recognize from the show. Any and all attempts to sue me will be met with severe disappointment. (Can't get blood from a turnip, folks.) Employees and their families are ineligible. Must be 21 or older. No purchase necessary. Void where prohibited. See store for details. Prosecutors will be violated. All rights reserved. So there!
- Chapter One -
"Join the Navy, and see the world!" had been the recruiting poster's tag line.
Somehow, that poster had failed to mention that the world is three-quarters water.
From his vantage point at 15,000 feet, the blue ocean expanse stretched endlessly toward the horizon, changing shade as it went, before blending seamlessly into an equally blue sky. It was a study in sensory deprivation, which combined forces with the engine's monotonous drone to create an aura of boredom so intense one feared his brain might pickle in its own juices.
Mmmmmm... Pickles! Now there was a thought.
His mind had just started drifting toward thoughts of lunch, when it was yanked hard from the realm of daydreams by a sudden intrusion of reality.
"Look alive! Look alive!" a voice crackled over the radio. "Zekes at one o'clock high!"
For Lieutenant Ronald Stoppable, this was a call to arms, and it was just the sort of thing that he lived for. Eagerly seizing the controls of his F4U Corsair, he gunned the massive 1,850-horsepower radial engine to the red line and began to climb, quickly ascending above the enemy formations. The Zeke had maneuverability on its side, but the "Bent-Winged Bird," as the Corsair was known, had speed in its corner, and when speed was combined with the advantage of altitude, a Zeke was an easy target indeed.
Glancing out the right side of the cockpit, he could see his prey. A squadron of eight planes was beginning to dive onto the formation SB2C Helldivers that his own squadron was charged with protecting. A quick kick to the rudder pedals and a smooth dip of the control yoke sent him banking toward his soon-to-be victims. It was time to kick some butt, and take some names.
Proceeding through a high, banking turn, he was soon diving down onto the tails of the enemy. Singling out the one who appeared to be the flight leader, he accelerated further into the dive, drawing a bead with his crosshairs as he went. At a range of 500 yards, he opened fire, the drone of the engine quickly being drowned out by the staccato chatter of six .50 caliber machine guns. The Zeke instantaneously disintegrated under the onslaught, being blown to shrapnel as the white-hot tracer rounds ignited its fuel tanks.
The squadron was thrown into chaos as the Corsair tore through the formation at over 500 miles per hour. Pilots turned and banked wildly, trying desperately to see where the strike had come from. It was an instinctive response from a squadron, which had so unexpectedly lost its leadership, and it gave Ron the opportunity to set-up his next move.
Using the speed of the dive to his advantage, he pulled up into a steep climb; then banked again for another pass.
As he started down once again, one of the Zekes pitched upward to meet him head-on, and the pair were soon exchanging fire at a closing speed of nearly 800 miles per hour. Ron could hear rounds impacting along his engine cowling, but held his line as the Corsair's heavy armor simply shrugged them off. He fired another burst, and the Zeke simply vanished, disappearing into a fireball of debris.
He juked left as the Zeke's cowling, its spinning propeller still attached, streaked by his wing. Then, making certain he was clear of the debris field, he turned back into the formation, searching for another target.
He found it in the form of a lone Zeke, which had strayed away from its squadron mates. Quickly realizing his predicament, the enemy pilot began wildly turning left and right, desperately trying to shake his pursuer. Ron was unrelenting, however, as he quickly closed the range, being ever-so-careful not to let himself slip in front of his intended prey.
He was close: Close enough to see the "Meatball" insignia painted on the wingtips, close enough to see the streaks of powder residue that trailed back from each of the guns, close enough to see the pilot himself, close enough to see... Wade?!
Ron blinked in confusion at the image of the pre-teen tech-guru staring back at him from his computer's desktop monitor.
"Hey Ron!" Wade said, cheerfully. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"
"Only one of the most crucial naval battles of World War Two." Ron replied, dryly.
"Playing 'Wings of War' again, are we?" Wade inquired with a knowing grin.
"Affirmative."
"Battle of Midway?"
"Sibuyan Sea, if you must know." Ron replied again, with more than a twinge of irritation evident in his voice. "So what's up?"
"Trouble." the young webmaster responded. "Electronique is making waves in Go City."
"Ahhh... Mission mode, then." Ron replied, pausing abruptly when something in the back of his mind clicked.
"Wait a sec… Isn't she Team Go's arch-nemesis?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Normally yes, but Team Go is at a superheroes' conference in Cincinnati. Looks like it's up to you guys this time 'round"
"Ah, okay then… I guess that… wait… Superheroes have conventions?"
"Apparently so."
"Heh… Who would've thought. Okay, then, what's the plan?"
"Meet Kim at her place. Your ride will pick you up there. I'll brief the two of you together once you're on your way."
"Total coolness, dude. You rock, as usual!" Ron lauded. It was then that he noticed the odd-looking plate in front of his tech-savvy friend.
"Dude, what are you eating?" he asked.
"What, these?" Wade responded. "These are buffalo chicken wings."
"Wow! What a novel concept?" Ron incredulously observed. "So how do they do that?"
"Do what?"
"Get the buffalo to marry the chicken."
"Say again?"
"I mean, I wouldn't think that a chicken would be attracted to a big, hairy buffalo. Chickens are so cute."
"Okay, let me break this down..."
"So what does the baby look like?"
"Awwww... man."
"Is it like a buffalo with wings and a beak?"
"Uhhh, no."
"A big, hairy chicken? With horns?"
"Ron... It's just a different type of seasoning!"
"Oh, I see."
"All right, then... Getting back to..."
"Does this chicken lay big, fuzzy eggs?"
"Ugh… No, dude."
"Ahhhh... So the buffalo's the girl."
"Narrrrrrgh."
"Interesting... That's a big girl."
"Ron!"
"Huh... Wha?"
"Just get yourself over to Kim's place!"
"Oh, right dude! On it!"
And with that, the blond, sidekick extraordinaire was out the door.
Author's Notes:
Well, this is my second attempt at an original, multi-chapter work, so I'm expecting my skills to be a little on the rusty side of things. Wish me luck!
As you may have already guessed, this is just a prologue: A simple lead-in before delving into the real meat of the story. While Ron's love for video games may seem somewhat the trifle, I can assure you that it will come into play later on down the line… I'm just not saying how! (Insert evil laugh here)
As for the aircraft mentioned here, everything's factual:
F4U Corsair: Designed in 1938 by noted aircraft designer Rex Biesel, and built by the Chance-Vought Aircraft Company, the first Corsair flew on May 29, 1940. Equipped with a 1,850 horsepower R-2800 Double-Wasp radial engine, the Corsair was the first American military aircraft to exceed 400 miles per hour in level flight: A remarkable achievement, considering that in order to withstand the stress of deck landings, carrier aircraft were necessarily heavier and more overbuilt than their land-based counterparts.
Known for its long, cylindrical engine cowling and inverted gull-wings, the Corsair came to be known by nicknames such as "Hose-Nose" and "The Bent-Winged Bird." To Japanese pilots who flew against it, however, the Corsair was known simply as "Whistling Death." (A reference to the sound made by air passing through the Corsair's unique wing-root mounted intakes.)
Zeke: The Mitsubishi A6M2 Type 00 was a carrier-based fighter plane used by the Japanese Imperial Navy, (a.k.a. the Nihon Kaigun), throughout the course of the war.
The American military, in an effort to make enemy planes easier to identify in combat, created a system in which all Japanese aircraft were given code names. "Zeke" was the name assigned to this small and nimble fighter. History, on the other hand, has since chosen to forever dub this plane as the "Zero:" A reference to its type number.
The Zekes mentioned here didn't hold up too well against Ron's Corsair, which is more of a testament to the shortcomings of the Zeke than to anything else. The Zeke was renowned for its agility, but this ability came at a price. In order to be agile, it had to be light in weight, and so the Zeke's designers were forced to sacrifice armor. The end result of this trade-off was an overall inability to absorb much in the way of damage. So while the Zeke was a very difficult bird to catch, if you could get a shot at one, it was highly vulnerable.
Curtiss SB2C Helldiver: A two-seat, carrier-based dive-bomber first placed into service by the United States Navy on November 11, 1943. Larger and faster than the SBD-1 Dauntless that it was intended to replace, the Curtis Helldiver suffered from problems of instability and mechanical malfunctions throughout most of its career. As a result, many crews actually preferred the aging Dauntless, and dubbed the SB2C with the moniker "Son of a B--, Second Class."
To spite these shortcomings, however, the Curtis SB2C sank more enemy shipping than any other plane of the war.
Battle of Midway: Widely regarded as the turning point of the Pacific Theater, the Battle of Midway started out as an intelligence coup by the United States Navy. Thanks to a recent break in the Japanese "Purple" code, an intercepted radio message indicated that the Imperial Japanese Fleet would strike the tiny outpost of Midway Island in the Mid-Pacific, as a means of luring out and destroying the American aircraft carriers, which had survived the attack on Pearl Harbor. This information led the Americans to stage their own ambush of the Japanese Fleet. In the ensuing battle, which took place between June 4th and June 7th, 1942, the Japanese carriers Hiru, Soyru, Akagi and Kaga were all sunk.
Although the Japanese could claim the sinking of the American carrier Yorktown as a result of the battle, the overall outcome was a stunning victory for the Americans and is widely regarded as the turning point in the Pacific combat theater.
Battle of the Sibuyan Sea: Fought between October 23rd and 26th, 1944, this was one of four separate engagements that collectively comprise the Battle of Leyte Gulf: One of the largest, and most crucial naval battles in history. In this action, the main element of the Japanese Fleet, (codenamed "Center Force"), was attacked by air elements of the American Navy's Task Force # 38. In the face of allied air superiority, the Japanese suffered heavy losses, including that of the super-battleship Musashi. The majority of the damage from this engagement was inflicted by Curtis SB2C Helldivers.
The entire exchange between Ron and Wade regarding the plate of buffalo wings was inspired by my listening to a radio advertisement for a local restaurant chain. When I first heard it, it just struck me as the sort of random conversation that these two would have.
See y'all in the next chapter!
Nutzkie…